The Family Garoo...(kind of long)

[Ree]

War Story worthy, imo.

This should be submitted directly to the War Stories section.
Can I get a second?

If this isn't a war story, I don't know what is.

You know, I am really getting tired of people who can't seem to follow a simple rule.

I don't know how many times we can say that, if you feel a story is worthy of War Story status, PM a moderator or an admin with your nomination and DO NOT POST NOMINATIONS IN THE THREAD!!!

Honestly, I am beginning to think we have to start handing out infractions to get the point across.

It's a great story, but there seems to be a tendency here at CS for members to automatically mention War Story in connection with any story that spans more than 5 paragraphs and is filled with flowery prose and hyerbolic embellishments.

I'm sorry if I seem grumpy but there is a reason why we want it done in that manner, and I am really getting tired of explaining it.

[Ree]

Also I am confused.

I applied for Unemployment (Hey. I paid into this, so why not?), and was granted the princely sum of US$137.00 per week, which was more than I made in a good week at my erstwhile job; for doing nothing more than sitting on my ass and going out once a fortnight to look for a job.

And best of all, it came directly out of George’s pocket.

Why did your former boss have to pay your unemployment? I thought that was what the gov't run tax-funded program was for.

[Amethyst Hunter]

OMFG.

I am in awe for so many reasons.

[thegiraffe]

I'm an English minor, and I don't see writing like that.

Amazing.

Your teachers must have LOVED you in school due to your writing ability (among other endearing qualities, of course lol). We don't see that very often anymore.

[Barefootgirl]

I have a full Masters in English Literature, and I don't see writing like that very often either, thank goodness. I don't see it for a very good reason. The reason can be located in the dictionary under T for turgid, I'm afraid.

Oh, and its Anglicisms, not Angelicisms. I await your story of the time you met Pope Gregory in a Burger King in Texas with baited breath...

[Doc Rocknocker]

10^3 pardons

I have a full Masters in English Literature,

A "full Masters"? How does that differ from a partial Masters?

and I don't see writing like that very often either, thank goodness. I don't see it for a very good reason. The reason can be located in the dictionary under T for turgid, I'm afraid.

“Turgid”? My, my. I didn’t realize the requirements for posting here were so rigid. Perhaps you can explain to me the other rules of writing enforced here so I might avoid such unpleasantness in the future.

And please; small words, simple sentences. You see, I only have a Doctorate in Geology.

Oh, and its Anglicisms, not Angelicisms.

Mea culpa. I guess I'll have to proof every response now to avoid such egregious gaffes.

I await your story of the time you met Pope Gregory in a Burger King in Texas

Just for the record, Wisconsin (where the incident occurred) is “Baja Canada”, not Texas.

with baited breath...

Eating sushi, again? Ummm, full Masters in English Literature; the word is "bated".

*EDIT-Please learn to use the proper quote tags, thanks.

[Banrion]

Also I am confused.

Why did your former boss have to pay your unemployment? I thought that was what the gov't run tax-funded program was for.

The way it works is you pay half in taxes, and the former employer has to pay the other half straight out to the state. This is why the offending employers can appeal a request for unemployment. If you are fired for job performance or attendance or theft etc (legitimate documented reasons) you are not eligible to collect on unemployment.

[Barefootgirl]

For what its worth, a full Masters, at my university, differs from an acquired Masters in that for an acquired Masters, you merely have to stay breathing for a period of time after matriculating. For a full Masters, you have to do some work.

As I said, my degree was in English Lit, not spelling. I am big enough to accept your correction gracefully, however. As i tend not to write my posts with a thesaurus clutched in hand, sometimes i do make mistakes.

Anyway, relax. Its just criticism. You have more than enough adulation already, surely a little criticism won't wound you mortally. I have no doubt that your buddy Joe Lansdale can tell you plenty of stories about exceptional writers who are unappreciated by plebian readers.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Actually, Ree, I was simply agreeing with the current conversation. I wasn't personally making a formal request to have this put into the War Story section. I really don't care that much. I was simply giving a compliment, and agreeing with another poster that it was certainly worthy.

[NightAngel]

The way it works is you pay half in taxes, and the former employer has to pay the other half straight out to the state.

It still wouldn't have come out of George's pocket as he was just a manager. It would have come from the Burger King Corporation.

[Jester]

Night Angel, actually, I believe you are mistaken.

Most BK's (and most fast food locations in general) are in fact franchises. BK does not own them directly, merely supplies them with advertising and product in exchange for the franchising fee.

I believe the OP described George as the owner of the particular location in general, so that would in fact mean that the money would be coming out of his pocket.

[NightAngel]

Huh, must've gotten George and Tony mixed up. Such is life.

[Doc Rocknocker]

For what its worth, a full Masters, at my university, differs from an acquired Masters in that for an acquired Masters, you merely have to stay breathing for a period of time after matriculating. For a full Masters, you have to do some work.

As I said, my degree was in English Lit, not spelling. I am big enough to accept your correction gracefully, however. As i tend not to write my posts with a thesaurus clutched in hand, sometimes i do make mistakes.

Anyway, relax. Its just criticism. You have more than enough adulation already, surely a little criticism won't wound you mortally. I have no doubt that your buddy Joe Lansdale can tell you plenty of stories about exceptional writers who are unappreciated by plebian readers.

I see. Back in the day, that was the essence of the difference between MA and MSc.

Point 2: Ditto, for my less than "Angelic" English-isms.

Point 3: "...more than enough adulation...? Too much is never enough.

Point last: Writing for any audience is bound to find a mixed-bag of reaction. I'll endeavor in the future to keep the turgidometer idiling...and I will also try to learn how to quote properly. Old habits, picked up from Paleolithic BBS', die hard.

That's a new one. Never heard of Wisconsin referred to as "Baja Canada".

Would you mind telling us where in WIsconsin this happened? The family Garoo sounds a lot like some people in my neck of the woods.

Somewhere in a mythical land north of Zion, IL and south of Racine. Bordered on the east by a great, big lake...

[Cia]

The only thing that would make this story even better would be a video of the whole incident.

[Dingwell]

Good Lord...

Quite the tale, and extemely well written.

I'd be tempted to call shenanigans if I hadn't worked in the fast food industry and lived through the ridiculous situations myself.

As for you my friend, I hope your writing skills are employed somewhere where they are appreciated. Not that they are not appreciated here. That is to say that was very well written... arrggh.

Story good. You should get paid for this... nuff said.

Dingwell