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After a long busy shift, I was looking forward to sitting down and enjoying a Thanksgiving meal with a few cold ones. So naturally I was surprised when my Rockin' Manager told me she needed to talk to me in the office about a complaint that had been lodged against me, and that she was very upset.
For various reasons it took a while for said meeting to happen, as we both got tied up with other things (her helping the dining room staff, me helping the bartender following me, etc.), so I had a lot of time to mentally review my day and try to figure out what I might have done that would have gotten someone so upset that they not only would have complained, but actually gotten RM so mad about it. And I came up with....nothing. I was completely flummoxed. As I remembered, just about everyone had loved me. So....
Finally she sat me down and told me that a guy had come back after having been in with his family earlier in the day. He told her it was a good thing he wasn't a violent guy, because he really wanted to beat the living shit out of me. (That's a quote, mind you.) According to what he told RM, apparently I had made some horrible comment about his autistic son.
My immediate response was..... "WHAT?!?!?" At this point, I still had no idea what was going on, but I knew one thing...I may be a smartass, but I am neither stupid nor insensitive enough to make fun of someone's kid, especially if they have special needs. Then RM told me it had something to do with refilling a Coke, and I remembered what had happened, and I relayed it to her. It went something like this.....
Couple comes in with their son, who was about 12-14, and sit down at the bar. I tell them they are more than welcome to sit at the bar, but their underaged son cannot. He can, however, sit at one of the tables we have by the bar. They have no problem with this, and their son takes his Coke and his book to sit at the nearest table while his parents each enjoy a draft beer at the bar. A little while later I notice that the kid's soda is empty, so I try to get his attention to see if he needs a refill. "Hey, sir? Dude? BUDDY?" His nose stays in the book. One of the women at the bar between me and the table turns around and gets the kid's attention: "Sunshine?" Kid looks up, I offer him a refill, he accepts, I refill his Coke. At which point one of the women at the bar says something to the effect that the boy was really focused. Me: "Yeah, I've been that focused on a book before. I've been that bookworm!" I said that quite publicly, and no one seemed to have a problem with it. A little while later, the family of three paid and left. And as far as I recall, that was IT.
Well, according to what the dad said to Rockin' Manager when he came back, some woman at the bar pulled him aside after the fact and told him I had said some disparaging or smartass comment about his son. And now, according to RM, he was livid. Wanted to punch me in the face.
Dude never specified what it was I supposedly said about his son. According to RM, he was too mad to get that part out. But he was never coming back to our bar, EVER.
A few important points:
1. As I already said, I am not one to make fun of someone's child. Unless they are friends and the kid is the type to be able to take it. Obviously, I did not know these people.
2. Nothing I said could be taken as offcolor. "Bookworm" is hardly an offcolor epithet.
3. I cannot control what other people say I say. I can only control what I say. And I said nothing I would feel the need to apologize for.
4. It would have been impossible for me to make fun of the kid for being autistic, since I never knew he was. At least, not until my manager sat me down to tell me all this.
Once I explained my side, my manager was much less angry and upset. She thought the story seemed odd, as she's known me for years, and knows that that is my style. There are many things someone might complain about me that would be valid. Me mocking an autistic child? Not one of them!
I still can't figure out who said this to the guy, nor what might have been miscontrued. I feel for the guy, frankly, as I know how overprotective I am of my nieces, and I can see his point. But the problem I see is he was ready to "beat the living shit" out of me, a stranger to him, based purely on what another stranger said I said.
What the flying fuck is wrong with people?
For various reasons it took a while for said meeting to happen, as we both got tied up with other things (her helping the dining room staff, me helping the bartender following me, etc.), so I had a lot of time to mentally review my day and try to figure out what I might have done that would have gotten someone so upset that they not only would have complained, but actually gotten RM so mad about it. And I came up with....nothing. I was completely flummoxed. As I remembered, just about everyone had loved me. So....
Finally she sat me down and told me that a guy had come back after having been in with his family earlier in the day. He told her it was a good thing he wasn't a violent guy, because he really wanted to beat the living shit out of me. (That's a quote, mind you.) According to what he told RM, apparently I had made some horrible comment about his autistic son.
My immediate response was..... "WHAT?!?!?" At this point, I still had no idea what was going on, but I knew one thing...I may be a smartass, but I am neither stupid nor insensitive enough to make fun of someone's kid, especially if they have special needs. Then RM told me it had something to do with refilling a Coke, and I remembered what had happened, and I relayed it to her. It went something like this.....
Couple comes in with their son, who was about 12-14, and sit down at the bar. I tell them they are more than welcome to sit at the bar, but their underaged son cannot. He can, however, sit at one of the tables we have by the bar. They have no problem with this, and their son takes his Coke and his book to sit at the nearest table while his parents each enjoy a draft beer at the bar. A little while later I notice that the kid's soda is empty, so I try to get his attention to see if he needs a refill. "Hey, sir? Dude? BUDDY?" His nose stays in the book. One of the women at the bar between me and the table turns around and gets the kid's attention: "Sunshine?" Kid looks up, I offer him a refill, he accepts, I refill his Coke. At which point one of the women at the bar says something to the effect that the boy was really focused. Me: "Yeah, I've been that focused on a book before. I've been that bookworm!" I said that quite publicly, and no one seemed to have a problem with it. A little while later, the family of three paid and left. And as far as I recall, that was IT.
Well, according to what the dad said to Rockin' Manager when he came back, some woman at the bar pulled him aside after the fact and told him I had said some disparaging or smartass comment about his son. And now, according to RM, he was livid. Wanted to punch me in the face.
Dude never specified what it was I supposedly said about his son. According to RM, he was too mad to get that part out. But he was never coming back to our bar, EVER.
A few important points:
1. As I already said, I am not one to make fun of someone's child. Unless they are friends and the kid is the type to be able to take it. Obviously, I did not know these people.
2. Nothing I said could be taken as offcolor. "Bookworm" is hardly an offcolor epithet.
3. I cannot control what other people say I say. I can only control what I say. And I said nothing I would feel the need to apologize for.
4. It would have been impossible for me to make fun of the kid for being autistic, since I never knew he was. At least, not until my manager sat me down to tell me all this.
Once I explained my side, my manager was much less angry and upset. She thought the story seemed odd, as she's known me for years, and knows that that is my style. There are many things someone might complain about me that would be valid. Me mocking an autistic child? Not one of them!
I still can't figure out who said this to the guy, nor what might have been miscontrued. I feel for the guy, frankly, as I know how overprotective I am of my nieces, and I can see his point. But the problem I see is he was ready to "beat the living shit" out of me, a stranger to him, based purely on what another stranger said I said.
What the flying fuck is wrong with people?
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