What is Rudeness?

[dougiezerts]

Not sure if this belongs here. It seems the most appropriate place.
My manager recently told some of us that rudeness to customers is absolutely not tolerated, and will result in disceplenary actions including dismissal.
So this has gotten me to thinking: What is rudeness? Is it yelling at customers? Calling them names? Being disrespectful?
Or could it simply be telling them something they don't want to hear?
"I'm sorry, we are out of stock on that item." "I'm sorry, there is no listing for John Smith in Anytown USA."
Often times, what customers view as being rude is nothing more than our reactions to their rudeness. When someone yells and curses at you, are you supposed to continue to be nice to them? No!
Unfortunately, the customer is always right, so we're the ones to get blaimed--and sometimes fired!

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

Rudeness is sometimes hard to define. Like you said, some customers think that if you tell them anything other than what they want to hear, you're rude.
So, I hope your manager has some specific ideas about what he or she considers rude behavior before dealing any discipline or firing anyone.

I agree, it's really difficult to remain calm and cool when someone is screaming at you. All I can recommend is that if you see a situation escalating into a possible problem, call your manager immediately and let them deal with it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Wow, are you guys gonna lose money. A guy once accused me of being rude for charging him for his order.

[South Texan]

I don't think anyone would argue that surly attitudes, ignoring of customers, or mocking of customers to their faces is not rude. Everything else is whatever the customer perceives. It is all subjective, in my opinion.

Being all business/efficient and not engaging in meaningless banter can be considered rude by someone who expects personable service.

Engaging in meaningless banter can be considered rude by someone who thinks anyone working in a store or service business is "beneath" them, or is paranoid about their privacy, or thinks their time is too valuable to be pleasant.

Simply stating in the most pleasant and smiling and sympathetic/empathetic way possible that whatever the customer is demanding cannot be done will be considered rude by someone who gets angry at being told "no" - even if the employee is following mandatory company procedures for which no exception is allowed or simply is informing the customer that the item the customer wants is sold out.

In other words, if the moron of a manager intends to go just by whatever rant the customer spews out, you are doomed.

[greensinestro]

Actually, many customers consider rudeness to occur only over the phone rather than to their face. That's because they cannot see you and what you're facial expressions are. But, yes, I have been the victim on more than one occasion of a customer telling my manager I was rude to them because I could not break certain rules for them. Those are the totally unreasonable people, and are often very rude themselves whether it is on the phone or to someone else's face.

[Worker-Intellectual]

Rudeness, as defined by customers is anything they don't want to hear, or not knowing whatever they want you to...

I wouldn't file tone of voice or facial expression rude... with a huge pile of stuff to do and after dealing with idiots for 7 and a half hours, you aren't exactly going to be your chipper self, but as long as you try to get the customer what they want and send them on their way, that's ok... they shouldn't really expect much more from someone who is at work in the retail or food service industy... a good portion of us hate our jobs.

Rudeness would be ignoring them or insulting them directly.

I can only recall being rude to a customer one time... when he KNEW we carried an item (that we didn't carry, and I already told him that) and interrupted me while I was helping another customer... I just said "fine, then I don't know where it is," and walked off and checked on what the other customer wanted. Plus it was my 2nd last day, so I didn't really care.

[Jester]

Rudeness would be ... insulting them directly.

Something I do every single day. But then, I AM the Rock & Roll Bartender, so when I insult people, they laugh. I often wonder how I get away with it, I really do. I DO know that any corporate flunky, if they heard some of the stuff I say to guests, would use me as a training film as to what NOT to say to guests.

And yet those same guests come back to my bar. Why? Because it's FUN!

Actual exchange from the other night:

PATRON: "Ya know, Jester, you really shouldn't tell your customers to shut the hell up."
JESTER: "Let me ask you something. Are you having fun?
PATRON: "Hell yes! I'm having a blast."
JESTER: "Great. Then shut the hell up!"

Faced with that logic, they did the only thing they could do.

They shut the hell up.

[AFpheonix]

Insist that he make a list of parameters of what he's going to consider parameters of rudeness.

I've been called rude for pointing out to a huffy customer that other people got their orders in before her, and that's why it was going to take me 45 minutes to get her little packet of birth control ready. Gah. I really could have been a lot more undiplomatic, but I restrained myself.

[Dips]

According to...well... me true rudeness has three requirements:

1. That you know it will offend someone.

2. That you deliberately choose to do it.

3. That it wasn't necessary.

For instance telling customer "no" when you can't do something doesn't meet those conditions. You have no way of knowing if "no" is offensive to the customer. You have no choice but to say "no" when the only other option is lying to the customer. And saying "no" when that is, in fact, the answer is quite necessary.

However, if you deliberately choose be needlessly offensive in a snotty delivery of your "no"...

[pbmods]

I wouldn't take it too personally when a rude customer calls you same. A good manager will be able to tell the difference and will back you up.

If you think your manager wouldn't back you up in a situation like that (and that you would ultimately get in trouble for it), there do seem to be a lot of other fun places to work down in Arizona, so I hear....

[Jester]

...there do seem to be a lot of other fun places to work down in Arizona, so I hear....

It's true. Just ask The Scorpions:

"Arizona really was a gas..."

[Lehk]

When someone yells and curses at you, are you supposed to continue to be nice to them?

yes, that's what you are paid to do Emotional Labor

if customer service meant not having to deal with a$#holes CS jobs would never pay over minimum wage

[AirHostess]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudeness

[dougiezerts]

Thanks for your responses.
What about this situation: The customer is going on an on, without shutting up, and you're trying to tell him/her something? Are you rude for trying to shut him up, or is he rude for continually talking?

[ArenaBoy]

To Dougle's post: The customer is generally rude for not shutting up because we are generally paid to help them with whatever they need.