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I'm working for this dude whom I can most politely describe as an arrogant douchebag. He has an air of "I'm better than you" about him with everything he does and he talks down to you in the same manner. This attitude has been confirmed by four other people, so it's not just me and/or my imagination, he is a douche.
Two weeks ago I get a workorder to see this assclown so I head up to his cubicle. I get an attitude that I have just interupted a meeting of the joint chiefs of staff (yet a glance at his screen revealed Facebook). With a heavy sigh, he leads me to my work area. I've got to build two mail cubbies and mount them to the wall. I ask if these things are designed for wall mounting and get a "Yes... duh" type answer. He wants to hover over me and supervise, but I'm two seconds away from beating his arrogant ass from one end of the building to the other so I let him know that I'll handle it. He still wants to stay so I repeat that I can handle it and give him a five second stare, letting him know that no work is being done while he hovers. He rolls his eyes and walks away.
I open the box and see that these units are in fact NOT suitable for wall mounting. They have a "wood" frame, but the back is card paper, it wouldn't hold the weight of this thing for a second. I go back to the dumbass and after the obligatory eye roll and "I knew I should have supervised this idiot" sneer, he comes over to show me that I'm wrong:
SC: These are solid wood, you can wall mount them.
Me: Actually they're fibreboard, but the problem is the backing. It's paper, it will never hold a screw.
SC: I paid 300 bucks for these things.
Me: 300 bucks?!? For 10 dollars of raw materials.... I'm in the wrong business. Anyways, it doesn't matter how much you paid, this backing still won't hold any weight.
SC: But the salesman assured me that these could be hung on the wall.
Me: For a 300 percent markup, I'd lie to you too... okay look, I can figure something out, but I'm going to need some special brackets and materials.
SC: You don't have these with you now?
Me: No, that's why I called them special. My everyday supplies don't include things that I use once every five years.
SC: So you'll hang these by Monday?
Me: I'll take care of it next time I'm in the building.
SC: When will that be?
Me: I'm an on-call contractor, you can call Julia if you want to know when I'm scheduled to come in next, but typically I'm in every Friday.
SC: We've been trying to get these for three months, you're telling me I have to wait a week to get this done?
Me: Maybe. Maybe longer. Maybe less. Like I said, I'm on call, Julia is the only one who knows when I'll be here next.
This carries on until he decides that I'm too stupid to give him an answer. He tells me where he wants them and insists that I build them now, even though they won't be in use until they're mounted. I build them and put them in place, directly below where they'll eventually be.
I'm back in the building Friday with the supplies I need and I get a new workorder. He's put in a complaint about me. First, he complains that I'm wrong about these being suitable for wall mounting. Julia just laughs at this one, my history of exceptional work gives her complete faith in my judgement. He goes on to complain about how long it's taking to get this done, the three month wait that somehow has some revelance, and the fact that I assured him that they'd be hung on the wall by Monday. This pissed me off. I argued with him for five minutes, giving no assurance whatsoever. This gets Julia and I talking about what kind of arrogant douche he is. We cheer each other up and have a laugh. Then it gets interesting, he goes on to complain about the health and safety problem I've created. An aisleway is being blocked by the units where I left them. This is of interest because they are in the exact location where they're supposed to be, just on the ground rather than in the air. A call to him goes to voice mail so I go up to investigate:
Me: Where's douchebag?
SC: He's off today.
Me: Okay, well apparently the mail cubbies are causing a health and safety concern.
We go over to see them
SC: Yes, this is exactly where we want them.
Me: Yeah, that's what the confusion is. Douchebag claims that there is a health and safety concern here. They are blocking the aisleway.
SC: What?? They're behind the pillar.
Me: Yes, I agree. Well, we're going to have to get this issue resolved before I hang them up, if they're blocking the aisleway like this, raising them up three feet won't help. That would just create a larger health and safety issue.
SC: But we need these up now.
Me: Well I'm sorry, a health and safety concern has be raised. We'll have to get things sorted out with douchebag before I can do any work.
SC: So you're not going to hang them?
Me: I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't. It's a health and safety issue.
I over-emphasized "health and safety" because that's a keyword phrase that's thrown around in the building whenever someone wants something done right away. Douchebag wants to be impatient and lie to try to get me in trouble, I'm going to use his own tactics against him. I'll have to see how this plays out next week to see if I can delay it even further
Two weeks ago I get a workorder to see this assclown so I head up to his cubicle. I get an attitude that I have just interupted a meeting of the joint chiefs of staff (yet a glance at his screen revealed Facebook). With a heavy sigh, he leads me to my work area. I've got to build two mail cubbies and mount them to the wall. I ask if these things are designed for wall mounting and get a "Yes... duh" type answer. He wants to hover over me and supervise, but I'm two seconds away from beating his arrogant ass from one end of the building to the other so I let him know that I'll handle it. He still wants to stay so I repeat that I can handle it and give him a five second stare, letting him know that no work is being done while he hovers. He rolls his eyes and walks away.
I open the box and see that these units are in fact NOT suitable for wall mounting. They have a "wood" frame, but the back is card paper, it wouldn't hold the weight of this thing for a second. I go back to the dumbass and after the obligatory eye roll and "I knew I should have supervised this idiot" sneer, he comes over to show me that I'm wrong:
SC: These are solid wood, you can wall mount them.
Me: Actually they're fibreboard, but the problem is the backing. It's paper, it will never hold a screw.
SC: I paid 300 bucks for these things.
Me: 300 bucks?!? For 10 dollars of raw materials.... I'm in the wrong business. Anyways, it doesn't matter how much you paid, this backing still won't hold any weight.
SC: But the salesman assured me that these could be hung on the wall.
Me: For a 300 percent markup, I'd lie to you too... okay look, I can figure something out, but I'm going to need some special brackets and materials.
SC: You don't have these with you now?
Me: No, that's why I called them special. My everyday supplies don't include things that I use once every five years.
SC: So you'll hang these by Monday?
Me: I'll take care of it next time I'm in the building.
SC: When will that be?
Me: I'm an on-call contractor, you can call Julia if you want to know when I'm scheduled to come in next, but typically I'm in every Friday.
SC: We've been trying to get these for three months, you're telling me I have to wait a week to get this done?
Me: Maybe. Maybe longer. Maybe less. Like I said, I'm on call, Julia is the only one who knows when I'll be here next.
This carries on until he decides that I'm too stupid to give him an answer. He tells me where he wants them and insists that I build them now, even though they won't be in use until they're mounted. I build them and put them in place, directly below where they'll eventually be.
I'm back in the building Friday with the supplies I need and I get a new workorder. He's put in a complaint about me. First, he complains that I'm wrong about these being suitable for wall mounting. Julia just laughs at this one, my history of exceptional work gives her complete faith in my judgement. He goes on to complain about how long it's taking to get this done, the three month wait that somehow has some revelance, and the fact that I assured him that they'd be hung on the wall by Monday. This pissed me off. I argued with him for five minutes, giving no assurance whatsoever. This gets Julia and I talking about what kind of arrogant douche he is. We cheer each other up and have a laugh. Then it gets interesting, he goes on to complain about the health and safety problem I've created. An aisleway is being blocked by the units where I left them. This is of interest because they are in the exact location where they're supposed to be, just on the ground rather than in the air. A call to him goes to voice mail so I go up to investigate:
Me: Where's douchebag?
SC: He's off today.
Me: Okay, well apparently the mail cubbies are causing a health and safety concern.
We go over to see them
SC: Yes, this is exactly where we want them.
Me: Yeah, that's what the confusion is. Douchebag claims that there is a health and safety concern here. They are blocking the aisleway.
SC: What?? They're behind the pillar.
Me: Yes, I agree. Well, we're going to have to get this issue resolved before I hang them up, if they're blocking the aisleway like this, raising them up three feet won't help. That would just create a larger health and safety issue.
SC: But we need these up now.
Me: Well I'm sorry, a health and safety concern has be raised. We'll have to get things sorted out with douchebag before I can do any work.
SC: So you're not going to hang them?
Me: I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't. It's a health and safety issue.
I over-emphasized "health and safety" because that's a keyword phrase that's thrown around in the building whenever someone wants something done right away. Douchebag wants to be impatient and lie to try to get me in trouble, I'm going to use his own tactics against him. I'll have to see how this plays out next week to see if I can delay it even further
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