Another Damn Senior Day--December edition

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I got out of the past couple Senior Days. I must've the right people. But since the Senior Day in December is hellishly busy, no amount of rectal smooching would get me out of it.

Gee, thanks....asshole

So I was bobbing and weaving my way down the aisles, to put aside something in the back room somebody asked me to, when I bobbed and weaved down the wrong aisle and some guy said really loudly "I don't work here, but this young man (meaning Yours Truly) will be more than happy to help you."

So I go over and get pounced on by three cackling old hens, wanting to know how much assembly a certain chair requires. It turns out this chair was not one I was familiar with, and I really didn't want to BS a bunch of old ladies. I decided that would be a good time to talk up this new furniture delivery and assembly service we began offering last month.

Of course, the prices were astronomical. I told you they were. "Don't you have anybody who can put it together for me? We're old and we can't do that ourselves. You'll have two sales if you can do that."

Nope, that would have to be done by the assembly service, for their fee. So they decided to hem and haw about which chair "hugged" them better (Their words, not mine) and sent me off.

Richard Simmons Sweats For No Man:

Okay, so today there's four people working in electronics. Four. That's more than the number of people we have covering the floor on the hardlines side. So three people could leave the department and it would still be adequately staffed, at least according to LP.

Housewares is right across from electronics.

So if you're Richard Simmons, the electronics specialist, and you have people asking you for help in electronics, what do you do? If you answered "Page somebody else off the floor, who's probably helping 46 customers at the same time, or backup cashiering, because you're too fucking lazy to walk a couple steps," you win a cookie.

Walking Is For The Stupid

Oh, and one of the floor people in hardlines was pissing me off too. She uses one of the cordless phones you can take with you. We have three or four of them in the store.

So when she took a call for a certain department, and it turned out not to be for the department she thought it would be, what did she do. If you said "Put the caller back on hold and page somebody else to get it instead of walking over to the other department," then you win another cookie.

Geez, this place ain't exactly a Wally World Supercenter. I've found people normally won't bother me if they see me walkking urgently someplace with the cordless phone to my ear.

Those are the main stories from yesterday that I can recall at this ungodly hour. I may have more later. I'm not allowed to discuss it right now, but it doesn't involve Yours Truly getting into trouble.

[Teskeria]

oohhh!! leaving us demanding more!!

[blas]

While you have my deepest sympathies, I was really missing your senior day stories.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Well, I guess I can tell the forbidden stuff now, since it's kind of a moot point now.

We got in a shipment of Zhu-zhu pets last night. Management swore us to secrecy about them. They wanted them to first go out on the floor this morning. They even had us hold off on acknowledging the truck until this morning, so that somebody couldn't scan their shelf label, see the quantity show up in on-hands, and tell somebody we had them in the back.

The hamsters sold out very quickly. All we have left are some of the accessories, which are kinda useless without the hamsters.

[Erin]

Was there a stampede for the fake rodents?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Not really. Just a lot of people congregating in the aisle where the Zhu-Zhu pets were.

And evidently this is the last shipment of the things we're going to be getting. From now on they'll only be available in our online store, and new quantities will be released daily. So if you don't have a computer at home, you're kinda boned. But corporate thinks this is more fair, and it can reach more shoppers by selling those things online only.

This also means we'll be telling this to people over the phone all the time. The service desk people aren't going to be allowed to recite the script we've been given about those things when people call about them. They have to transfer the call to somebody on the floor instead, who's probably got 67 customers in the store to help first. I am sure there are reasons for this rule, but I cannot figure out what they are because I don't have my head jammed up my ass.