"But I need it for Christmas!"

[protege]

Well, I know what I'm going to do if my hypothetical future children misbehave around Christmas.

LOL you could say what I'd (jokingly) say to my then-girlfriend in college. That is, there's a coal mine less than a mile from my house. I have an endless source of coal. Piss me off, and you'll be getting it the *other* 364 days a year too

[Pagan]

Any more fights, though, and there just might be nothing but coal on Christmas morning!

LOL you could say what I'd (jokingly) say to my then-girlfriend in college. That is, there's a coal mine less than a mile from my house. I have an endless source of coal. Piss me off, and you'll be getting it the *other* 364 days a year too

Thing is, coal is worth something....especially if enough heat and pressure is applied!

[Soulstealer]

Well, I know what I'm going to do if my hypothetical future children misbehave around Christmas.

Decides everyone converts to a new religion that doesn't celebrate Christmas or give presents?

[Retail Associate]

Yes, My Friends, Christmas (and every other day of the year) will come whether you've bought your precious tum-tootlers or not.

Damn! I knew I forgot something...is it too late to order some precious tum-tootlers!!!eleventy!!!

[EvilEmpryss]

Damn! I knew I forgot something...is it too late to order some precious tum-tootlers!!!eleventy!!!

I'm afraid so. We still have some ting-tinglers in stock, though. You have to be over 18 to purchase them, though.

[fireheart]

Thing is, coal is worth something....especially if enough heat and pressure is applied!

I believe Kusanagi's quote is something along the lines of "shove that coal up your ass. Wait a week and it should be a diamond."

[Ironclad Alibi]

Never fails to amaze me how the date for Christmas seems to elude and surprise people year after year after year....

Now that you mention it, what date it is on this year?

And why is it Christmas is always on the same date, but Easter bounces around betweeen March 23 and April 25 like a crazed ping pong ball?

[depechemodefan]

These were custom designed items and although they weren't overly complex, they did take awhile to get together.

I hope CrazyClerk's business isn't assembling appliances or making bowling balls with names on the side, like "Homer". No matter how much the guy paid it, the wife's response would no doubt be, "thanks honey, you shouldn't have [/sarcasm]."

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I hope CrazyClerk's business isn't assembling appliances or making bowling balls with names on the side, like "Homer". No matter how much the guy paid it, the wife's response would no doubt be, "thanks honey, you shouldn't have [/sarcasm]."

No nothing like that. Custom fabric items actually.

[Anerien]

Now that you mention it, what date it is on this year?

And why is it Christmas is always on the same date, but Easter bounces around betweeen March 23 and April 25 like a crazed ping pong ball?

Christmas is celebrated on the date when the days start getting measurably longer after the winter solstice. Easter is celebrated on the Sunday following the full moon after the vernal Equinox. a lunar festival whereas Christmas is a solar festival.

[Magpie]

LOL you could say what I'd (jokingly) say to my then-girlfriend in college. That is, there's a coal mine less than a mile from my house. I have an endless source of coal. Piss me off, and you'll be getting it the *other* 364 days a year too

Wait... so pissing you off results in pretty rocks? (Yes, I have experience the futility of trying to scrub coal dust out of my pores, but it's a really pretty mineral. And it's almost impossible to get around here. We looked long and hard to get some for the "make-your-own-diamond earrings" we gave my aunt as a gag.)

[Ironclad Alibi]

Christmas is celebrated on the date when the days start getting measurably longer after the winter solstice. Easter is celebrated on the Sunday following the full moon after the vernal Equinox. a lunar festival whereas Christmas is a solar festival.

A solar festival and a lunar festival. I never thought of them that way before. Now I have to go annoy some of my non-pagan friends about their pagan-based celebrations.

[Magpie]

A solar festival and a lunar festival. I never thought of them that way before. Now I have to go annoy some of my non-pagan friends about their pagan-based celebrations.

I had to explain Christmas traditions to some Iranian students, and I prefaced it by saying that the first thing they needed to keep in mind was that pretty much any Christian tradition was stolen from another culture. I then gave the date of Christmas vs Saturnalia example to explain what I meant.

I would tend to assume that anyone who's involved enough with Christianity to potentially be offended would already know this stuff, and have better jokes about it than you do. Although I do admit to having not heard your jokes.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Although I do admit to having not heard your jokes.

I feel honored.

[Retail Associate]

I'm afraid so. We still have some ting-tinglers in stock, though.

But I don't want ting-tinglers...I want tum-tootlers!!! I NEED them for CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!

Can't you just go to the back room and see if you have any back there?11??!!!

This is lousy customer service! I'm never coming here again.

No, you can't get that in writing!!11!!