Paranoid DSL Subscriber

[Dave1982]

OK, this really IS the last backstory form Staples. Somehow, I'd forgetten this gem until now. It's not really a "sucky" customer story per-se, but just a really DUMB one.

Note: I have previously submitted this story to Computer Stupidites at http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/ Dunno if it'll ever be posted there, but maybe.

Anyway, for those of you who aren't on DSL, a little techincal background. DSL works by sending a moderately high-speed internet connection over unused bandwidth on your phone line. While this does not interfere with your ability to use the phone normally, the extra signal does add background noise into the line. To counter this, DSL installation kits come with DSL Filters that you install inline with each of your phones to block the noise. Pretty simple devices, which have no interaction whatsoever with the connection or any computer. Keep that in mind.

This happened in the middle of the back to school shopping season on a particularly busy day. I was working the Service Desk when a white-haired gentleman came up with a DSL filter and asked if we sold them. We do, and I told him where they were located. Then he asked me if I knew anything about them.

Me: Well, there really isn't a whole lot to it. What did you want to know?

Customer: Well, here's the thing. I'm dealing with some computer hackers, and they've managed to blow this *holds up filter* so I need something stronger.



Me (after a moment of disbelief): Um, I don't think that's the problem.

Customer: You know, there must be a huge amount of benefit and enjoyment in this whole "hacking thing" if they go to such lengths. If I don't get something stronger they'll just blow the next one again.

Me: Well, a DSL filter is a DSL filter. They don't come in "strengths" at all. Besides, what you're saying really isn't possible.

Customer *waving DSL filter, as if it is proof positive of this ludicrous claim*: They did it! See!

Me *unable to play along*: Sir, it is physically impossible to destroy a DSL filter remotely via hacking. Something else must have happened if the filter blew. I'm thinking there was a power surge over your phone line.

Customer *genuinely stunned at my "ignorance"*: Well, you can go ahead and believe that if you want to. *walks away*



What made this whole thing even more incredible was that this guy truly did believe that "computer hackers" blew his DSL filter, which shouldn't even be hooked up in any way to his computer. I would up relaying this to Dan and several other employees, all of whom couldn't believe it. One of the more quick-thinking electronics guys (no longer working at this store) quipped that I should have just told him to buy two!

Stupid or crazy? Or both?

[Reyneth]

Stupid or crazy? Or both?

Likely misunderstood something he heard/read on the news or was told about it happening to a friend-of-a-friend's-son's-Inlaw's-dog's-sister. IOW, totally does not know what he is talking about but is convinced he is right. You're never gonna win that one!

[Crosshair]

So if they hack into his computer, what exactly are they gona find?

[Jacen]

If he followed the instructions (our ISP made us set our ADSL up because we're too far out) then there should be no problems. Right? Right? *groan*

Sadly, I see this happening all the time. I just have to roll my eyes at the news or TV shows/movies that make hacking seem easier then it is. TBH, if you have an updated computer and a firewall, they can't hack you.

And the filter, AFAIK, Is just a simple device designed to clean the line. Why was it between his computer and the line?

[Mr. Rude]

Because he wanted to filter out the spam...Or evil elves...Or the government ...Or *head explodes*

OWW!

[Geek King]

What most people don't realize is that the majority of hacks are done one of two ways now.

A} The hacker gets access information from an obvious place, such as passwords written down or documents tossed out instead of destroyed.

B} The user opens an attachment with a worm that opens a backdoor into the system and sends the hacker a notice that it is available.

So, basically, most hacks can be prevented with common sense, but, well, you all know how that goes.

[friendofjimmyk]

What most people don't realize is that the majority of hacks are done one of two ways now.

A} The hacker gets access information from an obvious place, such as passwords written down or documents tossed out instead of destroyed.
:

That's the truth there...most of these "hacks" happen through social engineering. The would-be hacker could be at a party, bar, social gathering, job fair, any place where people gather really and just ask the right questions or eavesdrop on the right conversations and get all the information needed to access the system.

[Banrion]

Sadly, I see this happening all the time. I just have to roll my eyes at the news or TV shows/movies that make hacking seem easier then it is.

Awww, you mean that my uber computer with 15 hydra-vision monitors won't let me hack the world bank for fun and profit?

Sorry, while I realize totally unrealistic Swordfish was a great movie!!!

[Dave1982]

And the filter, AFAIK, Is just a simple device designed to clean the line. Why was it between his computer and the line?

Didn't get around to asking him that. I don't think I would have wanted to hear his answer.

[AFpheonix]

Wow, sounds like a well adjusted version of one of my husband's ex-clients: Alien Hacker Lady, who had a serious affinity to tinfoil, because she was afraid that aliens were trying to get into her computer via her fax machine.

She freaked out when she saw his Alienware laptop and chased him out of her house with a broom She's not allowed to have Geek Squad come out anymore.

[HYHYBT]

Why was it between his computer and the line?

Interesting. The ones I've seen *do* go between the computer and the line.

[AdamAnt316]

The point of a DSL filter is to filter out the DSL signal (sounds like high-pitched hash) from the phones on the same phone line with the computer. A DSL filter connected between the line and the computer would result in the computer being unable to get online at all. Maybe you're thinking of the DSL modem?

Anyway, I think that Dave1982 should've tried to sell the SC a surge protector. Probably could've gotten the idiot to buy the most expensive one in the store...
-Adam

[HYHYBT]

No, the ones I've seen have two outlets, one for the phone and one for the DSL. It only filters the one for the phone, but nonetheless the other *does* go through the thing.