Shut up and go away (long)

[bhskittykatt]

I was deeply involved in my paperwork this morning when it suddenly dawned on me that my CW was possibly being assaulted by a rambling SC. As I was broken out of my paperwork trance, I realized that this guy had been rambling for a good five minutes now. I step towards the door of my office to take a closer listen to see if the conversation has even a hint of substance.

SC: "...and they get it for free! The government just gives it to them even though they can work and it's just wrong! And blargity blarg blarg..."

Nope. He's ramblilng, and CW is trapped. So I break into Operation Rescue CW Mode. I hit "0" on my office phone, which rings the front office.

CW: "Front Desk!"
Me: "Pretend you're busy with my call" I whisper, since I'm right next to the front office."
CW: "Sir, I have to take this call."
SC: "...blargity blarg blarg conspiracy blarg blah..."
CW: "Sir, I need to take this call."
SC: "...blah blah moneygrubbers blarg blargity blah..."
CW: [into the phone] "Yes....uhhuh....yeah..."
Me: (thinking) God, someone get CW some improv classes....

After a minute we end the call. SC is still rambling on. I need to give CW something with more substance. I grab my cell and step outside the breakroom door, where they can't hear me. I call the front desk.

Me: "Yeah, I'd like what your rates are for the Olympics."
CW: "It's $$$.$$"
Me: "Wow that's a lot. Is the guy still there?"
CW: "Uh-huh."

I lean towards the break room door. SC is still rambling.

Me: "Yeah, I'd like to reserve a room on <insert random date>"
CW: "And your name?"
Me: "bhskittykatt"
CW: "Address?"

I lean towards the door.

SC: "...blarg blah blah Homeland Security blabbity blarg blah..."

Me: (spelling it slowly) "1.....2......3.....4......Space......S.....E..... .S......A....M...E....Space....S....T....Period... ..."

By the time I finally reach the zip code, CW says "Oh my God he's finally gone!"

If only that was the end of it, because he came back!

I run back out with my cell phone.

Me: "Is this the <motel> in <town>?"
CW: "Yes"
Me: "I need directions to you guys from <intersection in the middle of nowhere, coincidentally where Boss Man got lost and called us for directions the day he transferred here, but that's a story for another day>."
CW: "I'm not even sure where that is, let me look at the map. <whispers>he's out getting coffee.</whispers>"

SC finally wanders off and I go back in the office. SC had taken a HUGE thermos almost the same size of our coffee pots, so CW came into the break room to make a fresh pot. SC then wanders back in the office again!

CW: "I'm not here!"

I go into the office. SC sees me.

SC: "Um...uh..."

Now, SC had been saying things...racist, violent things...about American Indians during his extending rantings to CW. Now I'm very white, however I have a teeny tiny smidgen (1/32) of American Indian in me, and that tiny smidgen is enough to give me dark hair, dark eyes, and somewhat tanner skin so that I could be confused for someone who is a lot more American Indian than I really am (or Middle Eastern, which potentially makes airport and border security fun, but that's for another time).

SC: "Are any of these any good?" Meekly holds up a list of local gardens and farms.
Me: shrugs
SC: "Ah....ok..." and quickly exits.

I went into back office. CW came in with the huge bag of candies she keeps in her backpack.

CW: "We need chocolate!"
Me: "Chocolate! Yay!"

Haven't seen him again yet!

[EvilEmpryss]

Somebody give this guy instructions on how to start a blog so he can blast his annoying, self-important, racist wad into cyberspace where no one gives a shit and stop wasting reasonable people's lives.

Glad you had chocolate on hand to sooth the annoyance, though. Chocolate cures almost anything in large enough doses.

[blas]

A bit off topic, but I love when people go on rants about Native Americans and what they get from the government and look at me and expect me to agree and keep adding to the rant.

I'm not enough to even count, not enough to even look the part, and nowhere near enough to get any benefits, but I usually just say something like "I'm part Native. You should probably watch what you say around here, because a lot of very German or Scandinavian or Polish looking people actually have SOME Native American in them."

Just for more proof of that, one of my coworkers is 1/8 Native American (which isn't a lot either, but still a decent amount) and she is almost as white as I am naturally, has brown hair and blue eyes.

[Aethian]

My Mom's side of the family all look native american, which we are. Me I take after the one sweedish grandmother. Yay

[TelephoneAngel]

I get this on the telephone, I cannot do what the customer wants and he starts a rant -

"If I were black/Blue/pink with yellow dots you'd sure do it for me"

To which I reply, "Sir I can no more see the colour of your skindown the telephone than you can see mine............"

I have also had a variation on this "If I were handicapped you'd do it", again, how can I tell if someone has any disability down a telephone line?

[Sunflash]

http://xkcd.com/84/

Yes/No? ?

[bhskittykatt]

I've given it some thought, and if I hear this customer spewing his racist sh*t again, I've got a good response prepared.

"Thank you for staying at <our motel>. By supporting us, you support our community. For instance, last year we donated 100 mattresses to <local reservation>!"

(They were pretty new, only a couple months old, not some old raggy mattresses, and corporate wanted us to just toss them! From what I hear, the tribal leaders were pretty appreciative of the gift.)

[fireheart]

That was brilliant.

As for the guy, yeah I agree, say something about how you've donated <insert item of choice> here to <local reservation>

[jnd4rusty]

I am from an area that has a huge Native American population, South Dakota, there is, unfortunately, racism abound in my city. It can be an issue, but I don't let it become an issue with me. I have been accused of being a racist, the most recent was when a Native woman came in to our store. She had two little children with her and after she ordered I just stood at the register. I observe people all the time, well she thought I was looking at her funny because she asked "What are you staring at?, Are you being racist?" I was taken aback at first because I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. My reply, "Well considering my fiance and soon to be step son are Native American, I really don't think I am racist!" She back-pedaled and apologized after that. I also don't put up with racist talk either, I step in and say something because it ticks me off!!

[Lots42]

I'm fully willing to lie about my heritage just to embarass some psycho. I'm half Norwegian, half Irish with just the tiniest smidge of Chinese. Now I can be even more offended at old Blackhawk comics!

[tropicsgoddess]

Glad you had chocolate on hand to sooth the annoyance, though. Chocolate cures almost anything in large enough doses.

Oh it sure does! Dang, now I wanna go scarf down some chocolate!

[Kristev]

One of my happiest moments is when I went to Walgreens. I had gone to buy some 2 liters because they were on sale, and this big SC hypochristian was bothering the cashier with all this spewing crap about what gay people are trying to do. And the cashier's face showed increasing disgust for what she was hearing, but she couldn't do anything about it. So I did. As the customer got nastier and nastier about gays, I, who happened to be standing behind her, offered her hand and introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Franklin. And I'm gay."

Her face turned bright red, and the only words she said after that were "Have a nice day" to the cashier. She quickly left after that, and the cashier was quite happy to see that SC go. I know because she said that the change in the woman's color really suited her quite well.

[Mamadrae]

Things like this make me wish so much that I had a bit of some other blood in me. As is I'm blond haired, blue eyed, and have a very german last name. For some reason once in awhile this makes people think I'm some kind of Nazi wanna-be and as such must hate all the different people as well. I am particularly amused when people assume that because I'm an upstanding citizen and actually disicpline my son that I must be christian.

Always amusing when I tell them no I'm not in your cult, not interested in your cult, I don't hate those who live differently then me, and frankly you insistance that I must be this way makes me think you are racist against people with common sense and better things to do then bitch about how the world is ending and it's such and such group's fault.

Ah well, at least my boys will be able to claim more interesting things. Hubby's family has some Romanian gypsy blood. I giggle over it often cause my hubby is certainly not the kind of guy you would think to have even a hint of gypsy in him.

Oh it sure does! Dang, now I wanna go scarf down some chocolate!

Curse you all the pregnant woman now wants chocolate...but hubby is sick and out cold and there's none in the house.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I look as English as can be; however, my family on my father's side originates from Polish Jews. My dad once had some idiot say to him, "Really? You don't look Jewish." What does a Jew look like, may I ask?

[Mamadrae]

I look as English as can be; however, my family on my father's side originates from Polish Jews. My dad once had some idiot say to him, "Really? You don't look Jewish." What does a Jew look like, may I ask?

You know I have wondered this myself. The only thing I can figure out so far is it's suppose to be something about the nose. Other then that I have absolutely no clue.