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  • #1

    Calling Mr. Scott..

    I love this time of the year, when people try to blame you for every one of their stupid mistakes. Now some people might figure out where I am, but at this time I don't care.

    3 wonderful calls.
    D: Alleged miracle worker.
    SC: In desperate need of a miracle pill.
    *MBT*: What I SHOULD have said.

    D: Thank you for calling ihavemoremoneythanbrains.com, My name is Deceptitech. How may i help you?
    SC: Yeah, I wanted to buy your new cell phone. Can I get it with a new plan?
    D: Yes, but you have to fill that out on the web site.(we cannot take down certain information from people, like SS numbers and such)
    SC: Well, I don't trust the web. I want to get it from you, and I want it in red with a new contract.
    *MBT*: Oh, we got a brain dead one here.
    D: I cannot fill it out with a new contract, you can only get the unlocked one for $399 here, and the one with a contract only comes in the stardard gray color.
    SC: I like the red one, and I want to use it overseas. Since I can get it with a contract for $199, I would like it that way.
    *MBT*: Sorry sir, my ID says Deceptitech, not Jesus Christ. I don't perform miracles.
    D: The unlocked one cannot be shipped with a contract. That one is $399.
    SC: I don't want to pay $399 for one. I want to get the red one for $199.
    *MBT*: What part of "No F***ing chance" do you not understand?
    D: The red one only sells for $399, not $199. You can only get the gray one for $199.
    SC: Well, where can I get the red one for $199?
    *MBT*: Call your fairy godmother. Or Santa Claus, he knows where to get them.
    D: At this time, no one offers the red one for $199. It is unlocked and is $399.
    SC: Well, why should I get one from you then? ---click---
    D: Thank you for calling toocheaptopayfullprice.com


    You would think this is an anomoly. On the contrary, this is actually the norm.

    Now, I know most people have no idea what tech is what. There are several protocols of cell phones, the main ones are CDMA and GSM. Different carriers use different protocols. Verizon and Sprint use mainly CDMA, while T-mobile and Cingular use GSM. Most of the world uses GSM, and the unlocked one is simple to change carriers if you want. All you do is take the SIM card out from the old carrier, and put in the new SIM card for the new carrier. CDMA and GSM are NOT compatible. One model we have is GSM(the new 680), the other is CDMA(the not so new 700). our CDMA phone has features the GSM one doesn't, and vice versa.
    Case in point...

    D: Thank you for calling gottahavethenewtoyrightnow.com, my name is Deceptitech. how may I help you?
    SC: Yeah, I want to get the new 680 for Verizon.
    D: The 680 cannot be used for Verizon,it is a GSM phone. Verizon used CDMA.
    SC: Then I want the unlocked one so I can use it on verizon.
    D: The unlocked 680 is GSM, and cannot be used on CDMA networks.
    SC: That's stupid. Why can't I get it for Verizon? That's not fair.
    *MBT*: Life isn't fair, get a helmet to hold the 2 brain cells you use in your empty skull. they are leaking all over the place.
    D: They are different protocols. We can't swap them out for anything.
    SC: But I like the orange one. I want the orange one.
    *MBT*: Then get a different carrier.
    D: Verizon does not want the 680. Only Cingular has it right now, as does our un-
    SC: I'll get it off ebay then. --click--
    *MBT*: Good luck on that one.
    D: thank you for calling.

    This happens a bit as well. Now this last one almost threw me for a curve.

    D: Thank you for calling expensivedevices.com, my name is Deceptitech, how may I help you?
    SC: Yeah, can I get your new cell phone without the phone part?
    *blinks*
    D: You want the new 680 without the cell phone?
    SC: yeah, I just want the PDA part.
    *MBT*: Are you out of your F***ING MIND?
    D: We do carry PDAs without the cell phone.
    SC: i want to use the PDA part, but I don't want the phone part. can you just sell me the PDA part? I don't want to pay for a plan, I already have one.
    *MBT*: Then get a regular PDA.
    D: You can get the PDA-X without getting the phone in it.
    SC: Look, I want the phone part, but I don't want to pay for the phone. So i just want the PDA now, and I'll get the phone later.
    *MBT*: -stunned silence for a moment- WTF?????
    D: You'll have to get them both at the same time.
    SC: I just want the PDA. I'll check some other place. -click-
    D: Good luck on that one.

    Always have more to come...
    I did not sell my soul to Satan. He does have a long term lease with the option to buy.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Wow, I'm surprised you haven't gone clinically insane from those calls. I would've gotten sarcastic on their asses. Unless there's something wrong with your phone/headset? You're saying one thing and they're hearing another . . .
    This area is left blank for a reason.

    Comment

    • #3
      oh no, trust me. this is why this site is called customers suck. nothing wrong with our headsets. these people do NOT think!

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth thewhatnow View Post
        oh no, trust me. this is why this site is called customers suck. nothing wrong with our headsets. these people do NOT think!
        They do think, but what they think and reality is quite the opposite. We have hired a bunch of new people who thought this job was easy. How wrong they are. I tell them my war stories, and they think I am joking, UNTIL they get the same call from someone.

        My favorite is still the "window film" call. They think I am kidding until they get one.
        I did not sell my soul to Satan. He does have a long term lease with the option to buy.

        Comment

        • #5
          Window film?

          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is           Still A Customer."

          Comment

          • #6
            Window film..

            A "window film" call is simple.

            D: yours truly.
            SC: Customer with ID10T issue
            *MBT*: Happens every time.

            D: Thank you for calling duhhhhhhh.com, my name is Deceptitech, may I have your name please?
            SC: I want to return this caller ID box, and tell you that you sell utter crap.
            *MBT*: What else is new?
            D: may I ask what is wrong with your caller ID box?
            SC: Yeah, I try to get it to do something, but all it shows is your number. You never called me, and I can't erase your number from the box. Your company sells crap. I could have gone to Wal Mart for this and gotten one that works.
            *MBT*: Oh great, another window film call. You retard.
            D: Have you installed the batteries?
            SC: No, they were already installed, cause it showed your number.
            *MBT*: Oh great.
            D: Now, in the top right corner of the display window is a clear tab. That is for the window film that protects it during shipping. Just remove the film, and your caller ID box will no longer have our number on it.
            *MBT*: Just return the damned thing to a local store, you shouldn't be owning one, let alone owning a phone you moron.
            SC: There's no wind-- Oh, ok. I got it now. So how do I turn it on?
            *MBT*: peals of laughter echo as I tell everyone I got a window film call.
            D: Just install the batteries, then plug it into the phone line. You should be able to get your caller ID messages from there.
            SC: Oh. Why doesn't it say that there is something on the display in the manual?
            *MBT*: It is an IQ test, we check to see how many stupid people order from retardsrus.com.
            D: That's why we have our customer support line open 24 hours a day sir. is there anything else I can do for you today?
            SC: No, you should have it in the manual that there is window film on the display.
            *MBT*: Why, since it is printed on the window film and no one sees it.
            D: Glad I could help, and you have a good day. Thank you for calling imaretard.com.

            "Window film" calls are proof that customers know no bounds on stupidity.
            I did not sell my soul to Satan. He does have a long term lease with the option to buy.

            Comment

            • #7
              A few more brain cells died today. Funeral services will be held if and when the others recover.
              Unseen but seeing
              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
              3rd shift needs love, too
              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

              Comment

              • #8
                Thank you Deceptitech. Our caller ID box quit working about a week ago. We were all set to go buy a new one 'cause no one in the house knew the thing ran on batteries. (What?! there were so many cords coming out of the thing we assumed one of them had to be a power cord )

                It's okay everyone, go ahead and laugh (but hurry; there's a caller ID box in the bedroom that hasn't worked in over 2 years....)
                My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.---Cary Grant

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth Deceptitech View Post
                  They do think, but what they think and reality is quite the opposite. We have hired a bunch of new people who thought this job was easy. How wrong they are. I tell them my war stories, and they think I am joking, UNTIL they get the same call from someone.

                  My favorite is still the "window film" call. They think I am kidding until they get one.
                  It's stories like this that worry me though...I keep wanting to upgrade my cell phone to something decent, but I can't think of any way to do so without having to ask so many questions I end up looking like a dumbass
                  "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
                  "What IS fun to fight through?"
                  "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth KhirasHY View Post
                    It's stories like this that worry me though...I keep wanting to upgrade my cell phone to something decent, but I can't think of any way to do so without having to ask so many questions I end up looking like a dumbass
                    You shouldn't worry about that. Asking questions about upgrading a cell phone and being loud and obxonious because you can't figure out how to pull plastic film off your display is different. There is a difference between inquiries, ignorance and stupidity. I am certain you fall under inquiries.
                    I did not sell my soul to Satan. He does have a long term lease with the option to buy.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth Deceptitech View Post
                      You shouldn't worry about that. Asking questions about upgrading a cell phone and being loud and obxonious because you can't figure out how to pull plastic film off your display is different. There is a difference between inquiries, ignorance and stupidity. I am certain you fall under inquiries.
                      Halfway between there and the bathroom, most likely. I'm a bit odd in public
                      "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
                      "What IS fun to fight through?"
                      "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Oh, THAT window film!

                        I have seen and heard about that, and actually got nailed by it myself once last year.

                        I had had my cell phone for a few weeks, and was trying to rub some dirt off of the window when I saw the window starting to come off. Then I realized....duh....that's window film, genius. At least to my credit, there was no WRITING on the film...it was just clear film.

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is                         Still A Customer."

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Winder film

                          Quoth Jester View Post
                          Oh, THAT window film!

                          I have seen and heard about that, and actually got nailed by it myself once last year.

                          I had had my cell phone for a few weeks, and was trying to rub some dirt off of the window when I saw the window starting to come off. Then I realized....duh....that's window film, genius. At least to my credit, there was no WRITING on the film...it was just clear film.
                          Also to your credit is the fact you didn't call tech support screaming about how you can't get anything to come up. I even called the bosses at retardshack and asked if they could get something OTHER than our tech support number printed on the window film. They told me that people will want our tech support number when something doesn't work, and that this was an easy way to give it to them. My response was that they could have printed on this in small letters that this is window film, please remove before use.

                          They haven't responded back.
                          I did not sell my soul to Satan. He does have a long term lease with the option to buy.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth Deceptitech View Post
                            Also to your credit is the fact you didn't call tech support screaming about how you can't get anything to come up.
                            Yes, but against me is the fact that that window film was on my cell phone window for at least 3-4 weeks, if not more.

                            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is                             Still A Customer."

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth Jester View Post
                              Yes, but against me is the fact that that window film was on my cell phone window for at least 3-4 weeks, if not more.
                              THAT is nothing to worry about. I leave my window film on as long as possible to keep my clumsy ass from scratching it up.
                              I did not sell my soul to Satan. He does have a long term lease with the option to buy.

                              Comment

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