I just can't take anymore...

[tropicsgoddess]

Wow, your place sounds like a real hell hole to be honest! Keep looking around, keep your head up. It's not easy, but while you're still looking, do something for yourself to blow off steam.

[donruss]

Document, Document, Document!!! Is there any way you can go to a labor attorney? I'm thinking the term "hostile work environment" could go a LONG way here. IANAL, however, it would not hurt to talk to one just to see where you stand. Attorneys live for cases like this. I hope you find a resolution before you stroke out or have a coronary. BTW, sorry about your Dad, Cancer sucks!!!

[EvilEmpryss]

Just

This situation is not healthy (you already know that), but if you are short on options, the best you may be able do is crisis management. Start by spreading the word through your family and friends that you're looking for a new job. You might be surprised to find the friend of a friend is looking for someone.

Keep up on your meds! You may not think they're working, but every little bit helps and it may just be that you haven't been taking them long enough. Don't just go off them without your Doc's approval because sometimes quitting psych meds cold turkey can make matters worse.

There are lots of relaxation techniques you can try: do a Google and pick one or two that interest you. I like visualization and deep breathing. Vizualization usually means picturing yourself somewhere nice, but if you prefer picturing yourself strangling your SCs or managers and it helps calm you, go for it.

Talk to your friends and family about how you feel. Do not try to shoulder this kind of stress alone. If you feel that it would burden them unnecessarily (I get that way), call a counseling hotline or go to your preferred house of worship. Sometimes just being able to talk is enough to vent the pressure and make the situation bearable for one more day.

If the labor attorney is possible, explore that avenue. Definitely get your diabetis documented, as it is a medical condition that can protect you if they attempt to fire you for bathroom breaks. Read up on the Americans with Disabilities Act: it is your friend for both the diabetis and the depression.

Lots of good advice and support is being given here. You're not alone, you can get through this, and people here do understand how it feels.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

If you really have to make this "personal connection" (which sounds about as retarded a company policy can be)

I'm with you on this Irv, but you and I both know corporate does puts a lot of stupid policies and requirements in place in the name of "customer service"

[joe hx]

My company actually disallows any defending of yourself, the customer is allowed to say anything they want. We are not allowed to warn abusive customers or disconnect if they are abusive to the extreme.

Daily I am a pin cushion, my intelligence, religion, voice, job, family, car, life, home, everything they can think of is insulted.

Here's a quick myth many companies and employees, and I guess people in general, believe:

Customers are exempt from anti-discrimination and anti-harassment laws.

You can press charges against a customer. It's difficult, but can be done. I'd double check your company's harassment policy. Legally they should have a anti-discrimination and anti-harassment policy, and it should say something along the lines of "this policy includes employees, management, customers, etc."

I am on medication for depression, but it's not working, and my health insurance got canceled by an error with my payroll department and I am fighting to get it back, so everything is out of pocket right now. The doctor knows the medication is barely effecting me and has repeatedly called me for a visit, but I can't afford it right now.

Does the doctor know you can't afford a visit? It's very possible he'll see you pro bono (free). He might even have free samples. It's also very possible you're on the wrong set of medicine. A lot of antidepressants and anti-psychotics are hit and miss. It took doctors nearly two years to get my mix right.

I look at jobs available all the time. I make 17.50/hr, have done the math and need to make at minimum 16.00 to live paycheck to paycheck, not even comfortably. The highest paying job I have been offered in my search is 12/hr.

Do you have a lot of debt? If it's a lot of unsecured debt - i.e. credit cards and medical bills - you could simply not pay or arrange a payment plan. I know *not* paying seems sort of sucky, but it's not worth your sanity. Even secured debt can sometimes be renegotiated.

The sad part is, all my complaints have been answered with the stop whining comments and this is life and no one likes their job. I promise most people have no idea what hating a job means.

No one knows what depression is like except those who have it. I once explained to a psychologist what I call "the circle of depression." For you, it could be like this: "I'm depressed, but why? I have a job, yet I'm still depressed. That's stupid, I shouldn't be depressed. I should kill myself since I shouldn't be depressed." That psychologist looked straight at me and said "That's not how depression works!" Obviously she doesn't have depression, she's just in it because she wants to give people *her* advice. A good shrink doesn't solve your problems (which is impossible). A good shrink helps you solve your problems.

Sorry for the lengthy reply.

[42_42_42]

Most communities have psych help programs where you pay based on your ability to pay. This includes prescription management and counselling.

[scruff]

It's also very possible you're on the wrong set of medicine. A lot of antidepressants and anti-psychotics are hit and miss. It took doctors nearly two years to get my mix right.

This. The first lot I was on was useless. But when I got on stuff that worked, it was wonderful. Do your best to go back to the Dr, please.

[AyreBiskits]

Most communities have psych help programs where you pay based on your ability to pay. This includes prescription management and counselling.

check your universities and colleges in your area, you don't have to be a student to get into a program. i was in one for almost a year and it helped me tremendously.

and you need to find a way to vent, don't hold stuff like that in. my job sucks and i hate it (i could provide many threads about my epically stupid boss aka "Douche"). when i have had a really sucky day, i sing in my car all the way home - top of my lungs singing - i don't care if other people hear me. by the time i get home, most of what happened that day are flushed out of my system and i'm able to enjoy my evening with my family.

[Hyndis]

That's pretty much where I left my job: I was driving home one morning, and badly. (caused by schedule/sleep cycle interference, mostly, though that's just the tip of what was wrong at work .) First I realized that if this kept up I was likely to drive into an overpass support or something. But then what scared me was realizing that it felt like a good idea. And the reasons why were all tied into the way work had been going downhill the last few months; really at least two years, but it had been accelerating rapidly lately. I quit, and looking back it was the right thing to do; even my physical health has improved. But I also don't have anyone else depending on my income; that complicates matters.

I'm *not* offering advice, just a bit of commiseration. And your situation sounds much worse.

Yup. Been there, done that.

Was so overwhelmed I could barely drive...yet I wasn't worried. I was somehow hoping that I would crash into some large cement object at 80mph.


I gave my two weeks notice notice the next day. Damn the consequences.

No job is worth your health.

NO JOB.

[It's me]

I look at jobs available all the time. I make 17.50/hr, have done the math and need to make at minimum 16.00 to live paycheck to paycheck, not even comfortably. The highest paying job I have been offered in my search is 12/hr.

You are starting in right place by figuring out what you need to earn.

What sorts of jobs have you been looking for? Are you searching based on your job experiences and training or based on your skills? I ask because a lot of people don't step back and see just how much of what they do is useful for other types of jobs.

For example, right now you handle money, interact with the customers, and help people figure sort out the messed up banking. That means you have a whole bunch of skills like being good with numbers and with dealing with difficult, stressful situtations. I am sure other people here can can come up with more....

[Spawned]

If the job seems like I could do it or learn it fast I apply.

I applied once for an asst. manager job for Advance. The position was filled but they interviewed me anyway and told me that if another position came up they feel I would make an excellent candidate for it.

A couple of years later, I applied to it again and got interviewed by the DM again. He still felt I was an excellent candidate, but the playing field had gotten more competitive. It was done to me and one other guy, an ex-CEO of a now defunct local company. I lost to him, even though he admittedly at the training seminar had less customer service experience and almost no car knowledge compared to me. He got the job.

This is what I am deling with in my local job market.

[Jester]

I have some suggestions.

The problem is my company absolutely positively requires me to "make a personal connection with the customer." You actually fail QA's if you don't.

So make a personal connection. As others have said, LIE. Make shit up. The customer is having a bad day because they got a flat tire? Tell them about the time your car blew up and you barely escaped alive. (This actually happened to a friend of mine.) Etc., etc., etc. Be an actor. Treat your job as a role you play. Never give out any actual personal information, other than what the company requires (i.e., your name and employee number, etc.) The company cannot require you to give out actual personal information; if they want you to make a personal connection, who are they to say that lying is less effective than being honest? After all, if you are free of the stress of being personally attacked, then you can do a better job, right?

Try to learn how to compartmentalize your life. Separate your job from your personal life. No matter how bad your day is at work, leave work AT work. I learned to do this a long time ago, and it has saved my sanity. Now, when I leave work, any bullshit I had to deal with at work is pretty much done with. Why? Because I also learned that the customers are not attacking me personally per se, but merely me as a figure of the institution I represent or as a part of the problem they are experiencing as they see it. But since they don't know ME, they cannot possibly be attacking ME. It makes it far easier to leave everything behind, after all.

If you can actually use a fake name, go for it. It will make it easier to create a fictitious persona. If not, not, but detach yourself. Remember that Personal Spawned and Work Spawned are two different entities. And whatever you do, do not get too attached to your work persona, or you will have the same problems you are having now. Shit, change shit up. One day your car blew up....the next it fell off the jack as you were changing the tire. One day you have no kids...the next you have six. Etc., etc.

This all sounds silly, but if you can actually find a way to separate yourself from your job and from the attacks you get by your customers, it WILL help.

I'm not allowed to go to the bathroom unless it is on my scheduled break, and as a diabetic this is difficult.

This may be illegal. I would look into it, but not say anything about it to your idiot bosses until you confirm this.

I use to work at a call center that would allow me more room to put spin on things like that. However, we are in a very heavy micro-managed situation.

Sounds like it. So embrace the whole thing as an acting role to play. It can make a huge difference in your stress level.

There is also no way to vent.

Perhaps not AT work, as your company sounds like the First National Bank of Douchebags. But there are several ways to release your stress FROM work OUTSIDE of work. One obvious suggestions is this very site: we come here specifically to bitch about our biggest asshole customers. It is very therapeutic for a lot of the members. Perhaps you should try that a bit more. And once you have told the particular story that bothered you that day....let it go. Just release it. Do not allow it to bother you any more after that.

Also, consider physical exercise/exertion. Working out, biking, punching a heavy bag, pounding nails into something with a hammer, breaking stuff that you are going to throw out anyway.....whatever you need to work out the shit that is bothering you. It is physically impossible (or at least damn difficult) to be angry and pissed off when you are exhausted. Plus it would have the added benefit of addressing your weight gain.

All I can tell you, is we are required to tell customers not that the company has made a decision, but that we the associate have made the decision. Their reasoning is that way it looks like we are empowered to help them.

Yet a further reason to "play the role" rather than invest your own personal feelings in the job. Think of yourself as Charlie Sheen or Keifer Sutherland or whoever it is that you can identify with playing this role in a movie so that you don't drive yourself nuts.

I would suggest finding a way to quit and get another job.

Spawned has made it clear that just up and quitting is not an option. I know the whole spiel about "no job is worth your health," and to a degree I agree, but how healthy would it be for Spawned and his depression issues if he found himself unemployed, homeless, and/or unable to provide for his family? Right. It would suck. It is better to be employed at a crappy place and deal with the crap in another way than to be unemployed and still feeling crappy, don't ya think?

For that reason, Spawned, I think you should continue to look for a new job, but until one that is reasonable and good for you comes along, take a new tack at your job, separating the real you from the role you play at it. And continue to wish horrible things on your customers and bosses, as they all suck donkey dick.

You can press charges against a customer.

In an ideal world, this would be great. However, we don't live in an ideal world, and Spawned has bigger issues than dealing with his customers on an individual basis like this.

And even if he somehow brought charges successfully against one of his customers, there are still the scores of others making his life miserable. And do you really think the Douchebag Bank and Trust, the micromanaging dipshits that they are, would allow one of their expendable employees to go after one of their valued customers like that? Please.

It's a great idea in theory. In reality, it is just not workable.

Spawned needs to deal with the situation as it is right now, and bringing charges against a single customer is not going to help him with the rest of the crappy job he has.

Nor will quitting that crappy job without having a new job lined up.

So for right now, keep looking, keep applying, keep hoping. Look into the legality of the whole bathroom break thing, and if it is illegal, go to management about it. You obviously have to pick your battles, and that is the one that sounds most winnable at the moment.

This job is not worth your health....but since you are stuck with this job for the present time, you need to change the way you deal with it.

If you would like to talk privately about it, feel free to PM me. I am usually available for such things.

[BookstoreEscapee]

In that case I'd say start making up stories to tell your customers. Create fictional family characters, have fun with it and see what kind of weird things you can get them to believe.

This has been suggested by a few people. It may help your stress level if you can step back and look at it as a game. You don't even have to come up with some outrageous story (though that might be more fun); just come up with some scenarios that you can use - call centers often have some kind of script for different situations; make up your own personal script for different types of "connections" that come up again and again. And not using your real-life experiences might help you to disconnect at the end of your shift, so you can leave it all behind at the office and not take it home with you. When you leave work, focus on the good stuff...your fiance, your son, etc.

I've tried many things.

I am on medication for depression, but it's not working, and my health insurance got canceled by an error with my payroll department and I am fighting to get it back, so everything is out of pocket right now. The doctor knows the medication is barely effecting me and has repeatedly called me for a visit, but I can't afford it right now.

Talk to the office and let them know your financial situation. They will likely work with you. They might be able to charge you on a sliding scale, or at the least work out a payment plan. Tell them you don't feel the meds are working. Sometimes you have to try a few different ones to find the one that works best. Unfortunately, antidepressants are often trial-and-error. Usually they start with the one that has the least incidence of side effects, but that's not the one that works best for everyone.

The bathroom break thing is likely illegal, so check into that. The timing of the break schedule may also be illegal. Breaks are generally supposed to be X minutes for every Y hours worked. That doesn't mean giving you 2 breaks in the first couple hours and then making you work the next 6 hours nonstop.

This sounds like a really shitty place to work, but I'll take your word for it that you can't afford to quit. Does the school you went to have any kind of career counseling/placement services? Any local colleges/universities that might have a career office you could take advantage of? (Though there may be a fee if you weren't a student there.)

There's a lot of good advice in this thread (and I may have repeated some).

Good luck.

[AccountingDrone]

In that case I'd say start making up stories to tell your customers. Create fictional family characters, have fun with it and see what kind of weird things you can get them to believe.

Can you get a doctors note that says they are required to let you use the restroom whenever needed?
Isn't it a federal guideline that employers can't deny bathroom breaks??
Start documenting everything that makes it a bad work environment Check local labor laws and if worse comes to worse you'll at least have a good case to get unemployment.

if memory serves you are in the US, and diabetes IS an FMLA covered issue - so the doctor can set the parameters by using a phrase that states something along the lines of: X is to be allowed any bathroom breaks as said person requires due to both the actions of medications and the medical condition.

Note, the doctor doesnt actually have to name the medication, though glucophage can cause diarrhea, and other meds for kidney protection and blood pressure can include diaretics. Bathroom visits are a reasonable accomodation, require no physical change in the work environment [unlike mine that requires wheelchair accessability]. By the way, my doctor also mandated specific eating periods so I could be assured of actually managing to log for lunch instead of it getting fobbed off all around the schedule. You can also have the doctor mandate some form of snack food to be kept at your desk in case your blood glucose tanks for some reason.

Just

There are lots of relaxation techniques you can try: do a Google and pick one or two that interest you. I like visualization and deep breathing. Vizualization usually means picturing yourself somewhere nice, but if you prefer picturing yourself strangling your SCs or managers and it helps calm you, go for it.

A trick my dad taught me that is great if you have to keep a straight face and not mouth off at them which also works on the phone is to use the tip of your tongue to write fuck you , or whatever else you want on the roof of your mouth. Keeps the muscles occupied, and lets you vent silently.

[Beisbolica]

A trick my dad taught me that is great if you have to keep a straight face and not mouth off at them which also works on the phone is to use the tip of your tongue to write fuck you , or whatever else you want on the roof of your mouth. Keeps the muscles occupied, and lets you vent silently.

I have never heard of this before. That is hilarious.

Hang in there, Spawned!