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NOTE: Bogan is an Aussie term for trailer trash (sort of) and the place I work happens to be in the middle of their world.
Well as most people know my main (paying) job is working the graveyard shift at a local servo (petrol station to you non-Aussies), this job mostly sucks and only has three real advantages:
1. I'm unsupervised so when I get all the work done, if I have any spare time I can grab my sketchbook and play around a bit.
2. The occasional scenery (ie pretty gals).
3. I don't have to take abuse from customers.
And it's number 3 I want to talk about now, just a few stories from the past month.
First story.
For most of the night I have to serve people through the little night window and am only allowed to open the door for deliveries or Police, most people understand this.
Sometimes when I've got the door open for a stock delivery people will wander in (despite a bright green sign telling them not to) so I have to ask them to go outside to the window. It's a pain yes but most people understand when I explain it's company rules and I don't want to get in trouble (like the other graveyard guy has).
But the jackass this night, wanders in right past the delivery driver pushing loaded stock cages despite both me and the driver politely asking, then politely telling and finally rudely telling him to leave. His Response?
"I'm in here now I'm gonna buy some shit".
Me, "Well you'll have to go out to the window, that's the rules."
Jackass, "That's fucking bullshit. Where's it say I can't come inside?"
Me, "That bright green sign on the door."
Jackass, "I don't read fucking signs."
While my brain shuddered at the sheer stupidity my mouth responded "Well you can get the fuck out, you're not getting served at all here tonight."
So the Jackass goes out to the window and expects me to serve him, "Sorry we reserve the right to refuse service."
Jackass then tries to get his mate who was waiting in the car (parked right beside the window btw) to make the purchase for him, I refuse to serve this guy as well and he makes all the usual threats of complaints. No follow up of course.
Second story.
On promo change night it takes about an hour or two for the system to finish updating the prices, which is a pain in the ass, so this month I decided to restrict sales to the only products not affected by the promo change (fuel and smokes), even putting up signs saying Fuel Sales Only, most people got this and walked off, some asked and I explained the system is updating, one Prick felt the need to argue.
Prick, "Why can't I buy shit?"
Me, "Because the..."
Prick cuts me off, "That's not fucking good enough."
Me, "I'm sorry but..."
Prick, "That's not fucking good enough, Why can't I buy shit?"
Me, "Because..."
Cuts me off again, "That's not a proper answer."
Me, "Sir I can't serve you, goodbye."
Prick, "Why fucking not?"
Me, "BECAUSE."
Prick, "Get me your manager."
Me, "It's 1am I'm the only one here."
Prick, "Then I want his number."
Me, "That's not gonna happen."
Prick, "Bullshit I'm the customer."
Me, "No customers actually get served what you are is BANNED, now fuck off before I call the cops."
More swearing and threats from the prick but I ignored it and went about my work.
Third story.
Shortly before door-close one night two dudes came in to use the toilet. One guy was swaying like crazy and was practically carried by the other.
Sure sign that the dude was drunk and going to throw up in my toilet.
So I tell them if they make a mess they're cleaning it up, an idle threat that usually keeps the drunks more focused on their aim.
So after they're done Not Drunk Guy decides to have a go at me. Apparently telling a drunk to watch where he chunks is "discrimination".
After telling them to fuck off I locked up and went to check the toilet, stank like beer and vomit but thankfully he seemed to have found the right target. I sprayed a full can of Glen 20 in there and waited until the morning before cleaning the loo.
Ain't my life glamourous.
Fourth Story.
This is a bit of an old one.
One night shortly before xmas 2008 I had an encounter with the only person who ever complained about me (twice actually) at my previous retail job (worked in a supermarket for 9 years).
I'd just finished serving a customer, checked the forecourt for customers (were none) and checked the time because I had to put on a bake soon. Then I rushed out into the cold room to try and finish re-stocking it.
Now one of the problems of this place is you can't her the pump alert in the cold room ass the fans in there are too loud, so every few shelves I stick my head out to see if anyone's there.
Then suddenly there's a banging on the window, a customer (b!tch) rudely gesturing for attention.
So I rush back to the console and authorise her pump. After putting about $30 of fuel in she comes to the window and hands me the money.
THEN the following ensues (paraphrased from memory):
SC - I had to wait ten minutes for you to turn on my pump
Me - (look at screen, only seven minutes have passed since I left the till) Ma'am I haven't even been away from my till ten minutes and there were no cars out there when I left.
SC - You're lying I was out there for ten minutes before I had to make you turn on my pump. *insert much swearing and ranting and threats that I can't remember the specifics of*
Me - (process sale hands change) Here's your change, goodbye.
SC - I'm not finished with you.
Me - This sale has been completed you are no longer a customer now fuck off or I'll call the cops.
SC - You can't call the cops on me
Me - (phones local police station on speakerphone)
Sergeant M - **** Police Station.
Me - Hi this is Scooby from Servo...
SC - Fine I'm going but I'm going to tell your boss about this
Me - Fair enough. (Into phone) Thanks M
Sergeant M - No problem, is the coffee machine fixed?
Me - Yep
Sergeant M - Brilliant, see you soon.
The lady did put in a complaint, three months later, and all my boss had to say to me was "Try not to tell them to fuck off" and we now have a swear jar.
I have many more stories but will save them for a later time.
Well as most people know my main (paying) job is working the graveyard shift at a local servo (petrol station to you non-Aussies), this job mostly sucks and only has three real advantages:
1. I'm unsupervised so when I get all the work done, if I have any spare time I can grab my sketchbook and play around a bit.
2. The occasional scenery (ie pretty gals).
3. I don't have to take abuse from customers.
And it's number 3 I want to talk about now, just a few stories from the past month.
First story.
For most of the night I have to serve people through the little night window and am only allowed to open the door for deliveries or Police, most people understand this.
Sometimes when I've got the door open for a stock delivery people will wander in (despite a bright green sign telling them not to) so I have to ask them to go outside to the window. It's a pain yes but most people understand when I explain it's company rules and I don't want to get in trouble (like the other graveyard guy has).
But the jackass this night, wanders in right past the delivery driver pushing loaded stock cages despite both me and the driver politely asking, then politely telling and finally rudely telling him to leave. His Response?
"I'm in here now I'm gonna buy some shit".
Me, "Well you'll have to go out to the window, that's the rules."
Jackass, "That's fucking bullshit. Where's it say I can't come inside?"
Me, "That bright green sign on the door."
Jackass, "I don't read fucking signs."
While my brain shuddered at the sheer stupidity my mouth responded "Well you can get the fuck out, you're not getting served at all here tonight."
So the Jackass goes out to the window and expects me to serve him, "Sorry we reserve the right to refuse service."
Jackass then tries to get his mate who was waiting in the car (parked right beside the window btw) to make the purchase for him, I refuse to serve this guy as well and he makes all the usual threats of complaints. No follow up of course.
Second story.
On promo change night it takes about an hour or two for the system to finish updating the prices, which is a pain in the ass, so this month I decided to restrict sales to the only products not affected by the promo change (fuel and smokes), even putting up signs saying Fuel Sales Only, most people got this and walked off, some asked and I explained the system is updating, one Prick felt the need to argue.
Prick, "Why can't I buy shit?"
Me, "Because the..."
Prick cuts me off, "That's not fucking good enough."
Me, "I'm sorry but..."
Prick, "That's not fucking good enough, Why can't I buy shit?"
Me, "Because..."
Cuts me off again, "That's not a proper answer."
Me, "Sir I can't serve you, goodbye."
Prick, "Why fucking not?"
Me, "BECAUSE."
Prick, "Get me your manager."
Me, "It's 1am I'm the only one here."
Prick, "Then I want his number."
Me, "That's not gonna happen."
Prick, "Bullshit I'm the customer."
Me, "No customers actually get served what you are is BANNED, now fuck off before I call the cops."
More swearing and threats from the prick but I ignored it and went about my work.
Third story.
Shortly before door-close one night two dudes came in to use the toilet. One guy was swaying like crazy and was practically carried by the other.
Sure sign that the dude was drunk and going to throw up in my toilet.
So I tell them if they make a mess they're cleaning it up, an idle threat that usually keeps the drunks more focused on their aim.
So after they're done Not Drunk Guy decides to have a go at me. Apparently telling a drunk to watch where he chunks is "discrimination".
After telling them to fuck off I locked up and went to check the toilet, stank like beer and vomit but thankfully he seemed to have found the right target. I sprayed a full can of Glen 20 in there and waited until the morning before cleaning the loo.
Ain't my life glamourous.
Fourth Story.
This is a bit of an old one.
One night shortly before xmas 2008 I had an encounter with the only person who ever complained about me (twice actually) at my previous retail job (worked in a supermarket for 9 years).
I'd just finished serving a customer, checked the forecourt for customers (were none) and checked the time because I had to put on a bake soon. Then I rushed out into the cold room to try and finish re-stocking it.
Now one of the problems of this place is you can't her the pump alert in the cold room ass the fans in there are too loud, so every few shelves I stick my head out to see if anyone's there.
Then suddenly there's a banging on the window, a customer (b!tch) rudely gesturing for attention.
So I rush back to the console and authorise her pump. After putting about $30 of fuel in she comes to the window and hands me the money.
THEN the following ensues (paraphrased from memory):
SC - I had to wait ten minutes for you to turn on my pump
Me - (look at screen, only seven minutes have passed since I left the till) Ma'am I haven't even been away from my till ten minutes and there were no cars out there when I left.
SC - You're lying I was out there for ten minutes before I had to make you turn on my pump. *insert much swearing and ranting and threats that I can't remember the specifics of*
Me - (process sale hands change) Here's your change, goodbye.
SC - I'm not finished with you.
Me - This sale has been completed you are no longer a customer now fuck off or I'll call the cops.
SC - You can't call the cops on me
Me - (phones local police station on speakerphone)
Sergeant M - **** Police Station.
Me - Hi this is Scooby from Servo...
SC - Fine I'm going but I'm going to tell your boss about this
Me - Fair enough. (Into phone) Thanks M
Sergeant M - No problem, is the coffee machine fixed?
Me - Yep
Sergeant M - Brilliant, see you soon.
The lady did put in a complaint, three months later, and all my boss had to say to me was "Try not to tell them to fuck off" and we now have a swear jar.
I have many more stories but will save them for a later time.
Yeah, I had something much more clever in mind, but when the time came, it disappeared out of my head.
Unfortunately it sounds like some of my customers at the old store have migrated north....
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