I guess it had to happen sometime...

[BookBint]

... when part of your job is to reject people's life work. As an editor for a publishing company, lots of book proposals land on my desk. Some will be commissioned, some will be rejected by the publishing managers, and some will be rejected by me outright. This means writing a polite letter along the lines of 'thank you for your project, doesn't fit in with our schedule at this moment' etc etc.

Anyway, I must have written a hundred or so in the past three years. But today was the first time it came back to bite me in the ass.

Me: Underpaid editor
BSC: Bat-shit crazy man

*Ring ring*

Me: Hello, Publishing House, BookBint speaking.
BSC: This is bat-shit crazy man. Do you work on X military team?
Me: Yes I do, how may I help?
BSC: I sent in a proposal a few weeks back and today I get a letter saying you've rejected it. Where the fuck do you get off?
Me: Uuuuuummm *panic* excuse me, there's no need for that kind of language. I presume that your book didn't fufill our criteria for publication.
BSC: Well fuck you!

*Click*

Out of curiousity I went through our proposal files to find his. His writing was as bat-shit crazy as his telephone manner. *Uber-boss had a good laugh at my expense and then fell asleep. Classic.

[Plaidman]

Oh now you gotta tell us what his story was on....

[BookBint]

It wasn't a story, but a proposal for a history book on King Henry VIII. The basic premise was that Henry thought he was a wizard or a magician. The spelling and grammar made it almost unreadable.

It could have been worse. UberBoss once told me he got a proposal written in red crayon...

[Stinkzy]

Oh now you gotta tell us what his story was on....

haha ye, I want extracts and quotes please, the works

[Aethian]

Did you talk about him once before or was that another history writer of English kings?

[lordlundar]

Well, in his defense, if you're going to have a historical reference of a bat-shit insane king, having a bat-shit insane writer is going to help.

[BookBint]

Did you talk about him once before or was that another history writer of English kings?

No, different one. Sadly we publish a lot of books on kings... People can't get enough of them.

[RayvenQ]

Please tell me the guy was doing a historical fiction as opposed to proposing it be an actual history book.

[Erin]

Maybe he should put it in the Original Fiction section of fanfiction.net? Maybe he'll find some adoring fans...or get flamed for not having a beta reader?

[Red_Dazes]

Please tell me the guy was doing a historical fiction as opposed to proposing it be an actual history book.

After all the crazy a$$ crap I have read on this sight... some how I really doubt it.
Kinda makes you want to cry doesn't it?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Maybe he should put it in the Original Fiction section of fanfiction.net? Maybe he'll find some adoring fans...or get flamed for not having a beta reader?

He couldn't do any worse than My Immortal, aka The Brown Noise Of The Written Word.

[Erin]

He couldn't do any worse than My Immortal, aka The Brown Noise Of The Written Word.

That's not some obscure reference to some Twilight fanfic is it? I'd go to a book burning if it was burning every copy of all the books the author of Twilight ever wrote.

calling her an author is kind of a stretch...author kind of implies that she can actually write.

[RayvenQ]

After all the crazy a$$ crap I have read on this sight... some how I really doubt it.
Kinda makes you want to cry doesn't it?

No, it wants to make me run away in terror!

[Rapscallion]

That's not some obscure reference to some Twilight fanfic is it? I'd go to a book burning if it was burning every copy of all the books the author of Twilight ever wrote.

No - mostly a Harry Potter meets Mary Sue slashfic with none of the naive charm associated with such matters. Try hitting google for 'worst fanfic ever' and you'll find it.

Rapscallion

[Erin]

I googled it.

Now I have to get the brain bleach, and also go put my computer in the dishwasher to clean it off.

bad fanfic...bad!