Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The Basket Incident (long)

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • The Basket Incident (long)

    Ookay this is a few years old so I may be a bit foggy on the details.

    While my old servo was being rebuilt I was transferred to this one (where I have stayed since it's a lot closer to home) and this was all before we had the counter wire and night window so we had a lot more shitheels to deal with but I was working with another graveyarder so there was always back-up when shit happened and a witness when required

    Crazy cast of characters:
    Me - your faithful hound
    B - old graveyard dude
    SC - guy who REALLY wanted donuts
    SCF - friend of SC and nice dude
    Supes - SuperCop an awesome dude
    SergeM - The sergeant also awesome
    BD - B's "daughter" (girl he looks after like a daughter)


    So on with the story:
    Back then we got our donuts/cakes/etc in daily and would often be run out by the time the graveyard shift started which is fair enough most people understood - not this one guy.
    He just couldn't understand why he couldn't get donuts.
    Me - Sorry dude we're all out and the donut guy hasn't come yet
    SC - I want a donut
    Me - I just told you we're all out
    SC - Make it two donuts
    Me - We don't have any donuts left
    SC - Well f*cking make me some F*CKING donuts
    Me - We don't make them we get them delivered
    SCF - They don't have any donuts just get something else
    SC - I want a DONUT!!!
    Me - We don't have any. Now if you're not getting anything you can leave the shop
    SC then proceeds to grab handfuls of gum from the rack and throw it at me, practically emptying the gum rack. SCF stands in shock.
    Me - That's it get the HELL OUTTA MY STORE!!
    SC swears more and heads for the door.
    SCF - Sorry, he's a dickhead
    Me - I noticed. What can I get you?
    SCF - Pack of winnie blues
    I turn to get SCF's smokes when suddenly I feel something whoosh past my head and my ear is stinging, one of the shopping baskets we used to have stacked by the door hits the smoke cabinet.
    I turn back and see SC standing by the door ready to throw another basket.
    At the same time B has heard the commotion and come out of the back room in time to see me dodge the second basket and he's gone after the SC who, confronted with the big ex-military B and me grabbing my mallet, decides to run for it.

    So I call the cops while B goes into the office to run off the video footage to disc for them. SCF looks scared and just leaves the store but BD was apparently in the store at the time and sticks around to talk to the cops when they arrive.
    Meanwhile the combination of adrenaline and the pain meds I was on at the time has turned me into an emotional mess so I'm just sitting on the floor in a corner trying not to cry (and feeling like an idiot).

    The cops arrive quickly as always and take statements from B and BD while I get myself together. Supes is doing his Robocop impersonation which certainly helps.
    SergeM tells me they'll go for a look since the guy was on foot they should be able to find him.

    So later on in the shift, SergeM and Supes return with the good news (and because they need a coffee break) they caught the guy and he has four warrants out on him for various theft and drug offences so he's looking pretty screwed and will at least spend the night in the watchhouse.
    And an AVO will be taken out against him meaning he can't come near me.

    Story over right?

    WRONG

    A few weeks later, I'm on solo, the SC returns to the store (I guess he got bail?) but I don't recognize him at first since I have a bad memory for faces.
    SC - Remember me?
    Me - nope sorry
    SC - I threw that basket at you.
    Me - *WTF he's back?* Oh yeah you're not allowed back in this store
    SC - I want a donut
    Me - Sorry I can't serve you, please leave
    SC reaches into his jumper pocket for something, the bulge looks about right for someone gripping a knife or such.
    Now I've had 2 people try to stab me and both time I came out on top by instinct and martial arts training but since my leg was hurt I've gotten out of practice and have no intentions of seeing how much I remember so...
    Me - GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE *grab mallet hit panic alarm*
    SC (and other customers) shits himself and runs for it (as do a few bystanders).

    Cops show up in record time and luckily it's SergeM and Supes, in fact the entire crew for the night show up, 4 cars/9 cops lights sirens the works, all I have to say is "Basket guy", point in the direction he went and three cars are off on the chase. The last two cops stay behind and chat, no need for statements he broke the AVO so he's toast.

    SergeM returns later (Supes has taken SC to the station) and tells me they didn't find a weapon but he ditched the jumper so he probably ditched the weapon with it.

    And that's it. I didn't have to appear in court since they had video and statements and a confession on tape in regards to the first attack so all I know is he got some jail time and my store was fast-tracked for the security upgrades.

    And all of this because of donuts.
    "F*ck the begrudgers" - Billy Connolly

  • #2
    Don't mess with donuts and police officers (sorry.. I just had to say it!)

    Comment


    • #3
      This SC sounds like a real basket case.
      To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

      Comment


      • #4
        Hope he goes to hell in a hand basket...

        Comment


        • #5
          God, I wish I'd said that.
          Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

          Comment


          • #6
            Did I miss it? Where did BD play in this?

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Hobbs View Post
              Did I miss it? Where did BD play in this?
              She was just a witness to the first incident.
              "F*ck the begrudgers" - Billy Connolly

              Comment


              • #8
                "So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
                And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
                And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
                I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
                He said "Nah, we're outta glazed donuts"
                I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
                He said "Nah, we're outta jelly donuts"
                I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
                He said "Nah, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
                I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
                He said "Nah, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
                I said "You got any apple fritters?"
                He said "Nah, we're outta apple fritters"
                I said "You got any bear claws?"
                He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
                ...
                "NAH, we're outta bear claws"
                I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
                He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
                I said "OK, I'll take that"

                ----------------

                from "Albuquerque", by Weird Al


                SirWired
                Last edited by sirwired; 02-25-2010, 04:04 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I was just waiting for "outstanding warrant on drug charges" to come up. Whenever an SC is that aggressively ridiculous, it's usually that.
                  The runner up is "off his meds" or something along the lines of "recently released from the loony bin." ("Released" may be replaced with "escaped")

                  It reminds me of something I did when I was off my meds and under stress, minus the outstanding warrants, weapon use, and direct threat to store employees. I was just really, really hungry and can't eat a whole lot. I might actually feel bad for the guy if it wasn't drugs and evil that made him do it. Of course, not nearly as sorry as I am for you for having to put up with him, under all the stress, trying not to cry and getting scared and having a basket thrown at you. That... that's way worse. Hands down. And I don't feel bad for him at all because it WAS drugs and evil.

                  Here's to never seeing Basket Guy again, and years of telling his story at parties.
                  Each one of us has a special place just like the Evergreen Forest. Enchanting, sparkling, and perfect. And, like the flowers that bloom there... fragile.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth sirwired View Post
                    from "Albaquerque", by Weird Al
                    It's Albuquerque.
                    It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Pagan View Post
                      It's Albuquerque.
                      Any city with two q's in its name is obviously a trap to ensnare unsuspecting poor speller such as myself, and therefore deserves exactly what it gets.

                      Nevertheless, in the interest maintaining the geographic pride of that fine city, I have now corrected my post.

                      SirWired

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth sirwired View Post
                        from "Albuquerque", by Weird Al
                        "A!"
                        "A"
                        "l!"
                        "l"
                        "..."
                        "..."
                        "Buquerque!"
                        "Buquerque"
                        "I call murder on that!"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth sirwired View Post
                          Any city with two q's in its name is obviously a trap to ensnare unsuspecting poor speller such as myself, and therefore deserves exactly what it gets.

                          Nevertheless, in the interest maintaining the geographic pride of that fine city, I have now corrected my post.

                          SirWired
                          All I know is that apparently you're supposed to make a left turn at it to avoid ending up in unexpected places.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Only if you're going by tunnel.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Juwl View Post
                              "A!"
                              "A"
                              "l!"
                              "l"
                              "B!"
                              "B"
                              "U!"
                              "U"
                              "..."
                              "..."
                              "querque!"
                              "querque"
                              That song is the only reason I know how to spell it.
                              "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                              - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

                              Comment

                              Working...