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  • If it were a snake...

    Sunday night at the hellhole store I was near the fitting rooms separating some returns. A woman approached, stopped right in front of the fitting room door and asked, "Where on earth are the fitting rooms?"

    I looked at the fitting room door, looked back at her, pointed and said, "Right there."

    She was literally a foot and ½ away from it.



    ***Your turn***
    Retail Haiku:
    Depression sets in.
    The hellhole is calling me ~
    I don't want to go.

  • #2
    I have had so many people asking me where the shaving cream/hair spray/Q-Tips/Valentine's Day candy/Christmas Cards/etc were, all I say now is "Right behind you" or "next aisle over, third shelf from the bottom, right hand side, next to the bandages". A particular favorite seems to be those gift cards for people not knowing where they are. They're in a bright blue 8 foot tall rack that says "GIFT CARDS". Yet people still completely miss them and then get the cat butt face when I blink and say, "Right behind you."
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.-Winston Churchill

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    • #3
      At Old Bookstore, the Help Desk was right across from the seasonal calendar display. The display with the big red sign that read CALENDARS.

      People would always ask where the calendars and I would say, "Turn around."

      Most people laughed at themselves. A few stared at the racks of calendars and say, "Where?"
      https://www.facebook.com/authorpatriciacorrell/

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      • #4
        Had someone walk halfway down the light bulb isle to ask me...where are the lightbulbs, not only that but this is close to 100 ft of bulbs brightly lit by the flourescent light displays on the other side of the isle.

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        • #5
          I always tell myself sliently, "It's the 1,394,657th time you've answered this question, but it's the first time they asked it." Because really, sometimes we forget just how familiar we are with our stores. And really, even if there's a huge display, it's not the only display. This keeps me from strangling them, because, honestly, it's right friggin' there!

          Also, it's like on that episode Futurama, "Where the Buggalo Roam." Lela points out to Fry the tallest mountain on Mars as they're right in front of, and he squints and goes, "Where?" and she points and says, "Right there." And he goes, "Oh... OH!" and suddenly sees it. I think of that every time a customer does that.
          Each one of us has a special place just like the Evergreen Forest. Enchanting, sparkling, and perfect. And, like the flowers that bloom there... fragile.

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          • #6
            Customers do this at the petrol station; they walk right past the bunkers where the oil etc is kept to come to the till and ask, "Where is the oil?" -.- Or they walk past the papers and say, "Do you have any papers?"
            People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
            My DeviantArt.

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            • #7
              When I worked downtown San Antonio, I could not get over how many people stopped me in Alamo Plaza to ask where the Alamo was. The highly recognizable building with its distinctive shape usually was directly in front of them. I would just smile and point.
              Last edited by South Texan; 02-25-2010, 04:02 PM.
              "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
              .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

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              • #8
                While cashiering at the supercenter in my parents' town, I had a lady come up to another cashier and I as we were "redlining" (waiting at the end of the checkout lanes for customers to come to our lines). The lady asked us very politely where the candy was.

                I tried very hard not to laugh as I pointed to the huge wall of candy right behind her.

                This is usually why when I ask an associate where something is after I've scoured the store looking for it, I add, "I'm sure I walked right past it, too." And usually I have.

                Then again, I've been known to put my glasses on top of my head and then demand to know who took them. A friend of mine once had a pencil behind each ear and two more stuck in her hair to hold it into a bun, and proceeded to ask her husband for a pencil. He calmly reached up and pulled one from behind her ear for her, at which point she realized what she'd done.
                "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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                • #9
                  I love customers who ask where the coffee is. I point it out to them, and they have to go stare at it for about five seconds before it registers. I can't blame them too much, though, since they haven't had their caffeine yet.

                  What I can't stand are the customers who ask where the grocery store, and after I point it out to them directly across the street, they want to know how to spell the name and what the address is so they can put it in their GPS. Why do you need to use your GPS for something you can see directly across the street?!?!
                  Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
                    Why do you need to use your GPS for something you can see directly across the street?!?!
                    Well, I'd give them a pass if the parking lots were like some of the ones around here, but only in that case. (Seriously, some of the lots here are labyrinths.)
                    "Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
                    - Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V

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                    • #11
                      I've had people come up to me in the airport and ask me "Where's SuchandSuch Airline desk?" not realizing they were standing right in front of a bank of 15 desks for said airline. Or, in the departure lounge, one woman asked me, as I was exiting the bathroom, where the bathroom was. I smiled and gestured over my shoulder at the entrance behind me.
                      "FUCK NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKY ALIEN MOTHERSHIP ORANGES. " - Cookiesaur
                      ~~

                      Munkie's NaNo WC: 9648

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                      • #12
                        With people wanting to put it into the GPS I would imagine that they are wanting to programme the location in for future use (you stand outside and tell it "HERE"), and they want the name to be correct. My dad has many variations of this, because the pre-programmed landmarks aren't the ones he likes (it doesn't have a "brewpub" category). Restaurant is closed today? Ok, we'll go look for somewhere else as soon as I programme in the address.

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                        • #13
                          My favorite at the c-store is "where's the ice?" at which time I point over the aisles, to the signs on teh wall above our cooler/freezer doors and reply "Back in the corner there where it says ICE." Ooh, another example, someone asked once if we had energy shots. I pointed them to the endcap directly across from the registers....the top 1/3 of which is nothing but energy shots/supplements. This, of course, is why most c-stores in my chain are set up similarly. Customers walk in and are familiar with the place no matter which town they're in!
                          "And though she be but little, she is FIERCE!"--Shakespeare

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                          • #14
                            Had something similar (but roles reversed) happen to me. I was a a "big box electronics store" that was NOT "worst try" (think stove-top cooking.) I was looking for a hard drive for my wife's computer, couldn't find them. Found a sales clerk, he had me wait while he got someone else. That person said, "I don't know where they are, but I'll find out." He went away, and while waiting for him I looked at the display by where I was standing. He then came back, said "Well, I don't know where they are, but THAT person does. As soon as he's done with his customer, we'll ask him." I said, "Thanks, but never mind," and reached down to my left and picked up the very hard drive that I was searching for.
                            Yes, I found them right next to where I stood when I asked where they were. I stuck around thinking he might be on commission for this. But when he was the second person who said "I don't know where they are" and this was after standing right next to them, I figured he just lost out. Hey, if you work in the computer hardware department, you should be able to recognize a hard drive when staring right at it!
                            I will not be pushed, stamped, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own. --#6

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Captain Trips View Post
                              Found a sales clerk, he had me wait while he got someone else. That person said, "I don't know where they are, but I'll find out."
                              For whatever reason, that place doesn't seem to be able to retain a large percentage of particularly knowledgeable staff. They've always been friendly and willing to try, though.

                              Although, the City of Industry location tends to have more who know where to find product that the Anaheim or Costa Mesa ones. I won't even go into the Manhattan Beach store, however, since the place is way too small to be used by them; it's hard to walk down the aisles.

                              ^-.-^
                              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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