I Don't Stand on the Corner for YOU

[Gaki]

So as a little background, my second job is dancing on the corner dressed up as a certain national monument to promote getting your taxes done. Well, I'm allowed to dance wherever I want as long as I stay on the sidewalk and now, when I move off the corner in front of "HQ" I always have a partner. We go on opposite sides of an intersection and dance.

Now as a little more background about myself: I have no idea how to tell when people are making jokes, subtly insulting me, or flirting with me. The worst is the latter. I can ruin nearly ANYTHING because I literally am unable to tell when men are flirting with me. This has saved me many many times, and I think it saved me this time too...

Me:
SC: I'm pretty sure he's a customer by now...
L: My partner, she's bubbly and cool

So I'm standing there dancing and when people approve of us they honk their horns. Generally you do not honk your horn unless you're driving through the intersection. When people honk their horns and they're stationary we generally give them a "wtf?" look and continue dancing, ignoring them.

SC drives up and stops at the light and LAYS on the horn. I turn around, kindly wave at him, and then turn back around. He lays on the horn AGAIN. I turn around and dance a little more and smile (more nervously now) and then turn away. He does it a third time and makes the creepiest "come hither" signal with his finger I've ever seen.

SC: Hey, what are the office hours?
Me: 9 to 9 usually, it's different on the weekends.
SC: What are YOUR hours?
Me: They change every week...
SC: Are you ALWAYS on this corner?
Me: No...I...I move.

At this point the light turns green and he goes away and I go back to my corner, I get a call from L, who saw the whole thing.

L: What did that guy want?
Me: The hours to the store, and then he asked what my hours were...
L: ...WHAT?!
Me: Yeah, I just told him they change, I don't know why he would think they'd always be the same...weird.
L: No hun, he meant what your hours were TODAY. He was HITTING on you!
Me:

Too Cold for that...

Some guy leaned his whole upper body out the window of his truck and screamed as loud as he could:

SHOW US YOUR BOOBIES!!!

[ralerin]

To the last guy, "I only have one and he's sitting right there in that truck!"

[sevendaysky]

For the last guy... you should print up a little sign of a booby, as in the bird, and keep it on a little stick. Whenever someone yells that, hold up the sign and at them.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Some guy leaned his whole upper body out the window of his truck and screamed as loud as he could:

SHOW US YOUR BOOBIES!!!

A friend of mine who worked at Hooters used to get asked if they could see *her* hooters. She got tired of that and came up with the most interesting answer for those sorts of people.

She was once asked by an elderly gentleman and she said "Sure. I just need to go in back for a minute first." She came out and showed the gentleman her pair of stuffed owls.

The guy got a grin on his face and shook a finger at her in the classic "Well Played" gesture. She told me that the guy left a $20 tip on top of the change (which in of itself was already a smidge over 20%).

She's had mostly positive results for that. Most of the time she gets asked for by people who become her regulars after that joke. Some however just get grumpy as if they would actually see tits in a place like Hooters.

One schmuck reported her to her manager as actually flashing her tits in front of his children after that joke (yes, the classy father figure asked to see a waitresses cans with his children there...oy). The manager said that he doubted that she would do such a thing and offered to review the security camera footage, pointing at the camera pointed at that section.

The idjit rescinded his complaint.

[Plaidman]

I uhh. Don't think the first guy was um hitting on you. I think he thought you um. Had a different job. Like... yeah.


Sorry it happened. Want me to come and beat him up? I mean. I can try. He'll likely kill me with a finger. But its the thought that coutns. Right?

[XCashier]

To the last guy, "I only have one and he's sitting right there in that truck!"

She was once asked by an elderly gentleman and she said "Sure. I just need to go in back for a minute first." She came out and showed the gentleman her pair of stuffed owls.

Now that's classic! I'm sure the management approved. Wonder if she left them there at the store for other waitresses to use?

[Calud]

Now I have to go to a hooters and ask that question, just to see what happens....

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I uhh. Don't think the first guy was um hitting on you. I think he thought you um. Had a different job. Like... yeah.

Well, you know. If you can think of a kink, someone probably has that kink.

For instance, people who want to bang the Statue of Liberty.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

I wish I was being sarcastic, but I swear I am not. Sadly.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Well, you know. If you can think of a kink, someone probably has that kink.

For instance, people who want to bang the Statue of Liberty.

I'd say Stephen Colbert, but he already has.

So as a little background, my second job is dancing on the corner dressed up as a certain national monument to promote getting your taxes done. Well, I'm allowed to dance wherever I want as long as I stay on the sidewalk and now, when I move off the corner in front of "HQ" I always have a partner. We go on opposite sides of an intersection and dance.

Now as a little more background about myself: I have no idea how to tell when people are making jokes, subtly insulting me, or flirting with me. The worst is the latter. I can ruin nearly ANYTHING because I literally am unable to tell when men are flirting with me. This has saved me many many times, and I think it saved me this time too...

Me:
SC: I'm pretty sure he's a customer by now...
L: My partner, she's bubbly and cool

So I'm standing there dancing and when people approve of us they honk their horns. Generally you do not honk your horn unless you're driving through the intersection. When people honk their horns and they're stationary we generally give them a "wtf?" look and continue dancing, ignoring them.

SC drives up and stops at the light and LAYS on the horn. I turn around, kindly wave at him, and then turn back around. He lays on the horn AGAIN. I turn around and dance a little more and smile (more nervously now) and then turn away. He does it a third time and makes the creepiest "come hither" signal with his finger I've ever seen.

SC: Hey, what are the office hours?
Me: 9 to 9 usually, it's different on the weekends.
SC: What are YOUR hours?
Me: They change every week...
SC: Are you ALWAYS on this corner?
Me: No...I...I move.

At this point the light turns green and he goes away and I go back to my corner, I get a call from L, who saw the whole thing.

L: What did that guy want?
Me: The hours to the store, and then he asked what my hours were...
L: ...WHAT?!
Me: Yeah, I just told him they change, I don't know why he would think they'd always be the same...weird.
L: No hun, he meant what your hours were TODAY. He was HITTING on you!
Me:

Too Cold for that...

Some guy leaned his whole upper body out the window of his truck and screamed as loud as he could:

SHOW US YOUR BOOBIES!!!

I had a similar, less subtle request once. I wasn't even at work, just going home from an Anime Convention.

Jerks. ><

[Soulstealer]

To the last guy, "I only have one and he's sitting right there in that truck!"

Alternatively: "Mine aren't as nice as yours!"

[Andara Bledin]

This is my favorite take on the whole "boobies" equation, courtesy of Woody Hearn of GU Comics:
Part 1
Part 2

^-.-^

[Ironclad Alibi]

These comments reminded me of this cartoon.