Weird combinations

[Brighid45]

I posted this story somewhere else on the board, but a quick repeat fits here: I was working graveyard at a 7-11 when a guy came in early one morning (or really late one night, depending), bought a huge brick of the cheapest, nastiest porn we sold, and a big jar of Vaseline. He was wearing a raincoat at the time as well, and it wasn't raining out.

[moekosowl]

I posted this story somewhere else on the board, but a quick repeat fits here: I was working graveyard at a 7-11 when a guy came in early one morning (or really late one night, depending), bought a huge brick of the cheapest, nastiest porn we sold, and a big jar of Vaseline. He was wearing a raincoat at the time as well, and it wasn't raining out.

*runs screaming into the night in search of brain bleach*

[Melxb]

I'll put own list up here...
I went into W******t one day and bough tampons, an economy size bottle of motrin, a hot water bottle, ice cream, and a hammer. As the cashier was ringing me out asked me, tongue-in-cheek, what the ice cream was for?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

*runs screaming into the night in search of brain bleach*

Ask and thou shalt recieve.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

The only bizarre part of this combo is the red wine with the chicken.

[Primer]

I'll put own list up here...
I went into W******t one day and bough tampons, an economy size bottle of motrin, a hot water bottle, ice cream, and a hammer. As the cashier was ringing me out asked me, tongue-in-cheek, what the ice cream was for?

To heck with Rule #8...must remember Rule #1!

At least I still have a slew of spare keyboards from an online auction a few years ago!

[blas]

Well on the express lane at the grocery store I worked at, a middle ages couple purchased some of that KY warming gel.......I nearly ralphed (I'm sorry, I know there's no age where you stop having sex altogether....but I don't like imaging people older than my parents having sex....)

An old manager at my first job told me that he worked at a grocery store/video store. An innocent 16 year old was cashiering as a guy came up and rented the movie Showgirls and a jar of vaseline and a box of Kleenex. Can you imagine the look on that poor girl's face?!?!!?

I nearly barfed at the local porn shop when I saw a guy (a trucker no less, lol...just like the ones my dad works with) probably in his 50s buying one of those horse sized dildos......I mean, they have the girth of a zuccini for petes sake!

[ArenaBoy]

A few months ago I was at a music store and was looking for something when in walks this big, burly, biker looking guy. He had long stringy hair, a full beard, had leather on, and had a very gruff voice. The first words I hear out of his mouth when he talked to one of the clerks was "Excuse me, where could I find the Virgin Suicides soundtrack?" Those were the last things I was expecting him to say. The clerk, me, and anyone else in the vicinity just had a WTF? look for a while.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Try a skanky old guy w/missing teeth and dirty clothes coming through the line on Christmas Eve with a large box of live shellfish (clams, oysters, can't recall now) who had the nerve to brag about how lucky he was going to be that night.

Even worse when he showed me a small bottle of "performance enchancing lubricant."

[Cosmic Cat]

Try a skanky old guy w/missing teeth and dirty clothes coming through the line on Christmas Eve with a large box of live shellfish (clams, oysters, can't recall now) who had the nerve to brag about how lucky he was going to be that night.

Even worse when he showed me a small bottle of "performance enchancing lubricant."

I think your story wins for weirdest item combo in this thread.

My store doesn't sell stuff like condoms and vaseline, but old ladies do come in, and I mean OLD ladies, and buy thongs.

[Seanette]

Try a skanky old guy w/missing teeth and dirty clothes coming through the line on Christmas Eve with a large box of live shellfish (clams, oysters, can't recall now) who had the nerve to brag about how lucky he was going to be that night.

Even worse when he showed me a small bottle of "performance enchancing lubricant."

I am trying to figure out the shellfish thing, and the only possible scenario I can work out has me frantically hunting the brain bleach.

[Jester]

I have yet to have anyone buy that Mandelay stuff though. Good thing, it cracks me up everytime I see it on the shelf.

Stupid question time: what is Mandelay? Never heard of it.

Yeah, doesn't he know that vaseline rots condoms and you're meant to use KY?

His machine ran on D batteries, and he was able to use KY lube with it... (i dont understand how this process works, but whatever.)

Just because these people are buying these items together does not mean they are using them together, or even for what we may think they are using them for. Vaseline, for example, has many uses that are not even remotely sexual, and obviously KY has uses we hadn't even thought of. Also, I must note that these people very well could be buying something for themselves and something for someone else. (Obviously not the case with the shellfish guy, but whatever.) The old ladies buying thongs could have been buying them for granddaugthers, nieces, daughters, etc. Or for themselves. We don't know.

But it DOES make witnessing those purchases rather entertaining!

[Antisocial_Worker]

Well, I suppose I should confess... A couple of weeks ago after I got off work one night, I went over to Mal-Wart, which was the only place open. I got a few things I personally needed and then decided, what the hell, to go ahead and get a couple of items on the Christmas list for my niece and nephew.

The final purchase looked like this:

Box of condoms
Bottle of personal lubricant
2 liter bottle of Diet Cheerwine
Jar of salsa
Bag of Tostitos
Over the Hedge dvd
Cars dvd
Candy bar

[AFpheonix]

Stupid question time: what is Mandelay? Never heard of it.

it be this stuff

[dizzy_starshine]

We once had a guy come in and leave an email on the desk. It was from his girlfriend saying she was coming home early and in the mood for some naughtyness, so he brought condoms and bubble bath. The best thing is he came back for it as it had his shopping list on the back lol. His face was priceless.