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-“Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga speaking”
-"You stole my car you blankety-blanks! It’s worth a lot of money and you bleepin’ stole it!"
-"Calm down Sir, now, what kind of car is it?" He describes the vehicle, and it’s a perfect match for the one I just towed in. Called in for being in someone else’s space as usual. This does get him to concede that he did screw up and parked where he shouldn’t have, but doesn’t change the fact that he wants his ego-boosting toy back NOW!
-"Well, you need to bring it back! I paid a lot of money for it!"
-"It’s only being released if you pay for it"
-"No way! It’s a $40,000 car! I paid a lot for it! And I’m not going to let you keep it, you’ll ruin its value!"
-"Then you need to come and pick it up."
-"NO! I’ll pay for it later, you need to bring it back now before something bad happens to it. Unless you damaged it already…. You probably did! And I’ll sue you if you did! It’s a $45,000 car!"
-"Sorry sir, I cannot release it without payment, $105, cash or credit, no checks. And no, it wasn’t damaged, it was picked up by the rear and dollied from the front so none of the tires touched the ground. "
-"Look, I don’t think you understand, you CAN’T keep my car in some dingy impound lot, it’s worth a lot of money! It’s a $50,000 car!"
-"It’s secure where it is, sir. The lot is well lit, has cameras, and you can’t get in without a gate key."
-"Well, you need to bring it back! Now!"
Funny how the guys who are sure you’ll wreck their car if you tow it also demand you tow it AGAIN for them, isn’t it?
-"Like I said sir, you will need to pay $105 to have it released. Demanding it be towed back will only add to the expense as that would be an extra $75, it’s cheaper to just come and pick it up yourself."
-"But it’s a $55,000 car! You HAVE to give it back!"
Wow, every time he opens his mouth, the car’s worth more! Heh, maybe he’s trying to dazzle me with big numbers, but that’s not going to work. It’s a well known fact that cars LOSE value (75% of which happened when you drove off the dealer’s lot, a common cosmic joke repeated thousands of times daily in this country) Trying to get them to hold value is a losing premise. Unlike stock portfolios or a house, they are not investments, they’re consumer goods, like popcorn or disco shoes or 155mm howitzer shells, they are meant to be used up and/or digested and then replaced. But you don’t seem to realize it, you along with that guy on Ebay who owns the misshapen pile of iron oxide that what was once a 69’ Dodge Charger but now is, well a misshapen pile of iron oxide, who thinks a modest Buy it Now! Price of $120,000 USD is justified because “the numbers match”. Also, I’m clearly dealing with someone who routinely uses money to compensate for certain, ahem, personal abilities that are lacking. And I’m not talking about buoyancy…. Once again I repeat my impound fee spiel, but he hangs up on me. Whatever. 10 minutes later, the phone is ringing.
-“Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga speaking”
-“Yes, are you the one who took my sons car?!”
Way to go there cellar-dweller, you actually sicced your Mommy on me.
-“Yes”
-“Well, it’s a $65,000 car! You can’t just take something like that! Who do you think you are just taking someone else’s property! And we WILL sue you if there’s any damage to it because it’s a $70,000 car! Rarr... rarr... rarrrrrrr "
Woah, I know the dollar is weak these days, but inflation didn’t progress that fast even in pre-Nazi Germany where it took at least an hour for a Mark to devalue itself to bath tissue levels, not in 10 minutes and certainly not in the span of a single phonecall. At this rate, just let me know when it hits $100,000 and I’ll put it up on Ebay with a modest “Buy it Now!” price of $25,000 including delivery.
After a few more assurances that nobody had broken it, and nobody was going to steal it or stare really hard at the car and further reduce its rapidly-escalating value, Mom got off the phone and left me in blessed peace for the rest of the night.
P.S. – The vehicle in question was a Jeep Grand Cherokee, last I checked, MSRP on those was $43,000.
P. P. S. – The nicely-equipped Ford F450 Super Duty Turbodiesel that towed it is worth $65,000 as a bare cab/frame, custom bed and hydraulic accessories added to it to make it an acutal tow truck made it's final price tag $75,000. Your point being?
P.P.P.S. – I like apple pie the best.
-"You stole my car you blankety-blanks! It’s worth a lot of money and you bleepin’ stole it!"
-"Calm down Sir, now, what kind of car is it?" He describes the vehicle, and it’s a perfect match for the one I just towed in. Called in for being in someone else’s space as usual. This does get him to concede that he did screw up and parked where he shouldn’t have, but doesn’t change the fact that he wants his ego-boosting toy back NOW!
-"Well, you need to bring it back! I paid a lot of money for it!"
-"It’s only being released if you pay for it"
-"No way! It’s a $40,000 car! I paid a lot for it! And I’m not going to let you keep it, you’ll ruin its value!"
-"Then you need to come and pick it up."
-"NO! I’ll pay for it later, you need to bring it back now before something bad happens to it. Unless you damaged it already…. You probably did! And I’ll sue you if you did! It’s a $45,000 car!"
-"Sorry sir, I cannot release it without payment, $105, cash or credit, no checks. And no, it wasn’t damaged, it was picked up by the rear and dollied from the front so none of the tires touched the ground. "
-"Look, I don’t think you understand, you CAN’T keep my car in some dingy impound lot, it’s worth a lot of money! It’s a $50,000 car!"
-"It’s secure where it is, sir. The lot is well lit, has cameras, and you can’t get in without a gate key."
-"Well, you need to bring it back! Now!"
Funny how the guys who are sure you’ll wreck their car if you tow it also demand you tow it AGAIN for them, isn’t it?
-"Like I said sir, you will need to pay $105 to have it released. Demanding it be towed back will only add to the expense as that would be an extra $75, it’s cheaper to just come and pick it up yourself."
-"But it’s a $55,000 car! You HAVE to give it back!"
Wow, every time he opens his mouth, the car’s worth more! Heh, maybe he’s trying to dazzle me with big numbers, but that’s not going to work. It’s a well known fact that cars LOSE value (75% of which happened when you drove off the dealer’s lot, a common cosmic joke repeated thousands of times daily in this country) Trying to get them to hold value is a losing premise. Unlike stock portfolios or a house, they are not investments, they’re consumer goods, like popcorn or disco shoes or 155mm howitzer shells, they are meant to be used up and/or digested and then replaced. But you don’t seem to realize it, you along with that guy on Ebay who owns the misshapen pile of iron oxide that what was once a 69’ Dodge Charger but now is, well a misshapen pile of iron oxide, who thinks a modest Buy it Now! Price of $120,000 USD is justified because “the numbers match”. Also, I’m clearly dealing with someone who routinely uses money to compensate for certain, ahem, personal abilities that are lacking. And I’m not talking about buoyancy…. Once again I repeat my impound fee spiel, but he hangs up on me. Whatever. 10 minutes later, the phone is ringing.
-“Friendly Neighborhood Towing, Argabarga speaking”
-“Yes, are you the one who took my sons car?!”
Way to go there cellar-dweller, you actually sicced your Mommy on me.
-“Yes”
-“Well, it’s a $65,000 car! You can’t just take something like that! Who do you think you are just taking someone else’s property! And we WILL sue you if there’s any damage to it because it’s a $70,000 car! Rarr... rarr... rarrrrrrr "
Woah, I know the dollar is weak these days, but inflation didn’t progress that fast even in pre-Nazi Germany where it took at least an hour for a Mark to devalue itself to bath tissue levels, not in 10 minutes and certainly not in the span of a single phonecall. At this rate, just let me know when it hits $100,000 and I’ll put it up on Ebay with a modest “Buy it Now!” price of $25,000 including delivery.
After a few more assurances that nobody had broken it, and nobody was going to steal it or stare really hard at the car and further reduce its rapidly-escalating value, Mom got off the phone and left me in blessed peace for the rest of the night.
P.S. – The vehicle in question was a Jeep Grand Cherokee, last I checked, MSRP on those was $43,000.
P. P. S. – The nicely-equipped Ford F450 Super Duty Turbodiesel that towed it is worth $65,000 as a bare cab/frame, custom bed and hydraulic accessories added to it to make it an acutal tow truck made it's final price tag $75,000. Your point being?
P.P.P.S. – I like apple pie the best.
), he can certainly afford a $105 impound fee. And learn not to park in the wrong spot again. Dumbass. 
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