NO! Real life doesn't work that way!

[Shironu-Akaineko]

Oi Gevalt!

I'm not from here!

Starting light (and dumb)

We have a life size cardboard cutout of Bella, Edward and Jacob at the entrance of the store. Says TWILIGHT in the middle. Below it is a tagline that says, pretty much, "Comes out in XX days!" And we change the days everyday.
LIFESIZED CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF THE TWILIGHT CAST.

SC: Hello! Do you sell the new Twilight movie?
Me: No ma'am, in 8 days!
SC: *look of utter disbelief*
Me: It's written on the cutout *points*
SC: Well I'm not from this town!

NO. *slap* You say "I'm sorry, I didn't see it." You do not blame the local geography for your own oversight. You FAIL.

Let me waste your time!
Customer comes in, leans on the counter and stares. This is gonna be fun.

SC: "I put a game here."
Me: "...yes?" (waiting for either the name of the customer or the name of the game)
SC: "Do you still have it?"
Me: "Which game was it?"
SC: "A DS game."

*slap* NO! You specify it right now and name it! You FAIL!

Me: *looking in our two reservation drawers* "Well under what name was it?"
SC: *name*
Me: "Hmmm... I can't seem to find it."
SC: "Well did you put it back on sale? It was awhile ago! Nobody called me!"

I open up the lady's (?) order, and lo and behold, a note saying "Customer was told game arrived" With the date and my initials. Then another one under it dated a month later with my manager's initials "game put back on shelf, taking depot as penalty". Well hello there, part where it gets fun!

Me: "seems we did call you ma'am, look." *point*
SC: Nobody called me!
Me: "Ma'am look, right here, customer was told game arrived.
SC: "Nobody called me!!"
Me: "Ma'am, we reached SOMEBODY at this account."
SC: *looks* Oh, that's right, I never gave my phone number and this isn't my name, but NOBODY CALLED ME!!!!"
Me: *gives her the LOOK*
SC: "Well, anyway, I came to tell you I'm not taking the game anymore."

*slap* We noticed after 2 months of no-show, dumbass. You make me go through all this searching only to tell me you dun wan it no mo? You FAIL!

Might have more to come, depends how they behave. I did have one guy two days ago describe in detail all his various ills and aches along with visual aids I did not need.

NEW: Just got a customer who considered Bejeweled too complicated for his grandfather.
I am questioning the amount of mobility that poor grandfather has.

NEW 2: Customer holds the box for the pink wiimote, STARES at said pink wiimote, then asks me if the wiimote is pink.
Considering bourbon after work.
I don't drink.

[LillFilly]

Ooowwwww.....

[bainsidhe]

Heh, I thought for sure your first story would be about how someone has to OMG haaaaaaave the cut-out now now now.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

Too late, this lil tween called dibs on it the day we put it out for display.
I did have an older teen girl paw at Jacob for like 5 minutes straight.

[Mr Hero]

SC: Well I'm not from this town!

NO. *slap* You say "I'm sorry, I didn't see it." You do not blame the local geography for your own oversight. You FAIL.

To the SC's credit, I'm sure it's available on DVD in Hong Kong.

Heh, I thought for sure your first story would be about how someone has to OMG haaaaaaave the cut-out now now now.

I'd prefer to have a Kathy Ireland cardboard cutout.

[SG15Z]

SC: *looks* Oh, that's right, I never gave my phone number and this isn't my name, but NOBODY CALLED ME!!!!"

gods I hate people that do this. How can we call you if you never gave us you phone number!!!

[Pagan]

I did have an older teen girl paw at Jacob for like 5 minutes straight.

I can understand that. It makes me feel like dirty old woman, but that little boy is hot! At least he's legal now.

Heh, I thought for sure your first story would be about how someone has to OMG haaaaaaave the cut-out now now now.

I'd prefer to have a Kathy Ireland cardboard cutout.

And I'd be the one over there taping Adam Lambert's face over Edward's. What? Don't look at me like that. He's sparkly, too....and much hotter.

[underemployeed]

Oi Gevalt!

I'm not from here!

....
SC: Well I'm not from this town!

NO. *slap* You say "I'm sorry, I didn't see it." You do not blame the local geography for your own oversight. You FAIL.

......

actually, SC has a point, I believe they are from a town that is notorious for their doctor who gives people a lobotomy. You really need to excuse the inability to read because your asking to much.

you probably also get the question "Are you sure *wink* you don't have a copy in back *wink* that I could like give you some *wink* extra cash for?"

[MadMike]

I'd prefer to have a Kathy Ireland cardboard cutout.

I think Peter accidentally killed her and then buried her in the yard.

[mikoyan29]

So how are you supposed to call without her phone number? Is there some new mythical thing that allows you dial people based on a picture or something?

"Oh I'm not from around here..."
"Then you must be from Columbus...I hear they are idiots there" (but apparently good at basketball and football of late)

[vstorevigilante]

At my video store, we got New Moon in the other day, and as long as we don't display it on the floor we're allowed to rent it out. We have the same cut-out. The squeals of rabid Twi-tards is deafening me. It hurts. I just needed to share haha... the next few months til the third one comes and goes from theatres is going to be a nightmare at my store

[Shironu-Akaineko]

actually, SC has a point, I believe they are from a town that is notorious for their doctor who gives people a lobotomy. You really need to excuse the inability to read because your asking to much.

you probably also get the question "Are you sure *wink* you don't have a copy in back *wink* that I could like give you some *wink* extra cash for?"

Yes, I am asking too much of these people to have peripheral vision and/or a joint in their neck. That would require effort.

Sadly while I do get asked if we got copies in the back, I never get bribed.