Things I shouldn't have to say at work....

[StarsAreFixed]

Mainly "I'm sorry but..."

I HATE saying that. It is NOT my fault that you don't understand/will not accept store policy/ think that because X accept blah gift vouchers we do to...etc.! I HATE being the face of store policy. "The sign isn't clear" I didn't MAKE the perfectly clear sign. Oh god the rage..

* does not apply when I'm saying something like 'I'm sorry but we do not have X size.." That's fine.

Cannot believe supermarkets don't sell alcohol in some places! That's just weird. In Ireland, supermarkets would sell a lot more alcohol with better promos than off-licenses would. There are strict rules though, the off-license in a supermarket must be somehow seperate to the rest of the supermarket and must not sell any type of food. ALL off-licenses and supermarket off-licenses close at 10pm. I work in a large department store which has a supermarket and off-license. On Paddy's Day, the off-license took in €1500 in 20 minutes. One till.

[SouthernSugar]

Even within the US, whether or not grocery stores sell liquor varies widely. In my home/current state, they can sell beer only. Wine and liquor have to be purchased in separate liquor stores. In the last state I lived in, you could buy beer AND wine at the supermarket, while liquor was restricted to ABC (alcoholic beverage control) stores. I don't think I've ever lived anywhere where you could buy liquor at the grocery store, but I know there are some places where you can.

-I'm sorry, but if you've worn these earrings, you can't return them.

[mattm04]

IN my state supermarkets can not sell any type of alcoholic beverages, however the next state over they can sell only beer. One supermarket company get around this by owing a company that they build small liquor stores in the same plaza as their store where possible. To get to them you must exit the supermarket, go outside and go in the door to the liquor store.

[angelicafire]

"If you are in the United States of America and call Canada, then yes, that is an international call."

"No, Canada is not a part of the US."

[RavenStarr]

No I can't type in a ebt/debit/credit card, just because you happen to have it memorized. I need the actual card.

I should not have to tell friends this but I have.

No I will not *slide* a few items just so you can get a great deal. Do you want me to lose my job.

No I will not vouch that you are old enough to buy cigs/ alcohol/lottery.

[BrenDAnn]

Another one, from last night:
Please clean up the potato cheese bites you spilled out by the gas pump. (Yes, customer spilled a cup of the damn things. No, customer did not clean them up. I did. Lovely.)

[Mike Taylor]

Do not open the product!

[SourRobot]

-No pictures, please. (they can take pictures of the building itself since it's pretty historic, but they cannot take pictures of the merchandise)

-The coupon won't work because _____.

-Please don't sit on our displays.

-It's 40% of the original price, as in the price that's crossed off and has the word "ORIGINAL" above it.

-Is there a 25%/40%/65% sign over the display? No? Then guess what, it's not on sale.

-Yes the sign says you save 15%, but only if you apply for the store card.

-No, I do not have a coupon that you can use.

- Having to explain why the customer is not getting back the full price that they paid for something, especially when they don't have a receipt and originally paid for the item over six months ago in cash.

-It's after ten days, so you cannot get a price adjustment.

-Yes we do price adjustments if you bought something no more than ten days ago and it went on sale a few days later; no we cannot do price adjustments with coupons. No, you can't return it and then repurchase it, because that's how we do price adjustments! (Every customer who has asked me that thinks she's so smart for finding a "loophole.")

-No I can't put the items you already paid for in my stockroom so that you don't have to carry them around while you're still shopping.

[mattm04]

No, You CAN'T be in the back room.

[draftermatt]

"No this is not the Dr's office"

"No this is not -----"

(Seriously we have no less than 4 signs proclamation the name of our company from the gate to the door)

"No we don't sell the sand and stone, we're not a supplier, we bought that to make concrete with"

"No you can't park your car here" "Yes I realize it's been snowing but we're going to work, and if we can't park because you're here trying to clear your driveway..."

"No I can't make 25,000 square feet of product in 2 days"

"Yes we do have a contract with you"

"No, you haven't paid us yet"

"We're not shipping to you anymore until we get some payment"

[crazylegs]

I'm sorry - I can't see through skin to see if it's broken...

[fireheart]

No we cannot price match. (We are a supermarket.)

[TonyF]

From today:

"I cannot, in any shape or form, print all of your 682 prints immediately."

[fireheart]

"Sir, I have a boyfriend." (points to coworker who has very much agreed to help me out on that one)

[Mango]

A collection from jobs past and present:

"I'm sorry, I cannot give you medical advice."

"There is nobody here who can give you a flu shot."

"There is nobody here who can give you a massage, and there is REALLY nobody here who can give you THAT kind of massage."

"Well, if you can't do it with one hand, try holding down the mouse button with your right hand and moving the mouse with your left."

"I realize that the Canada Revenue Agency wouldn't know right off the bat, but they'd find out if they audited me. THAT'S why not."

"Your product costs four times more than your competitor and it's harder to use. That's why I recommended to my boss that she doesn't sign the lease."

"I won't turn your website back on until I get paid."

"10 is greater than 1." (This took a good few minutes to convince him of.)

"Yes, the reusable diapers need to be washed after your baby uses them. Yes, after every single time."