Idiotic questions or comments...

[FastFoodFlunky]

Have any of you had drunk or high customers that made absolutely senseless or stupid comments or questions?

I had this guy on July 4th.

A fellow female coworker of mine was taking orders in drive-thru and making the drinks for the orders while another coworker got the food ready. It was the late night rush and she had many drinks to catch up on. She said to a customer over the speaker "I'll be with you in just a second" and he said "Alrighhh." Seeing how backed up she was, I came over the speaker and said "Thank you for waiting. What can I get for you?"

His response?

"Woah...dude...you were like, totally a girl just a second ago."



He ordered a combo with a sprite.

He pulls up to the window to get his food, and as I hand the Sprite over to him, he looks down at the cup and says "Dude, I never ordered a water!"

Hang on..I just need a few more bangs..

Anyone experience something similar?

[sarahj]

I think we're on the same wavelength... on overnight shifts, I serve heaps of drunk people. Most drunk guys just hit on me, though, usually in an attempt to get free food, which is never gonna happen!

[Broomjockey]

Probably the stupidest question is when people come late to their movie, I tell them it is 10 minutes into the movie, PAST the previews, and then they ask, "yeah, but that's just the previews right? It's not into the movie yet."

And then there's the people who ask for change. We just got new tills that only open when we make a sale. Someone asks me for change, I inform them of that, and then they immediately get po'ed and stalk off, ignoring the fact that there are 5 people behind them waiting to purchase something. Out of the dozens of people who have asked, ONE was smart enough to realize that, and asked, "Then can I get change after they buy something?"
I told him yes, to reward his obviously above average customer IQ.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Where do I start?

Me on phone: Kinko's, open 24 hours. How can I help you?
Idiot: What time do you open in the morning?
Me: We're open 24 hours.
Idiot:So, what time do you close?
Me: We are open round the clock. We do not close.
Idiot: So, are you open on the weekends?

Kill me. Not only have I had this conversation, but I've had it MANY MANY times, and in many different incarnations. I'd say the most common thing people asked, upon hearing that particular greeting was "How late are you open" or some variation thereof.

Here's another common one:

Old Fart with crossword puzzle (I have quite a bit of respect for the elderly, but I calls it like I sees it. Sunday morning we had a lot of elderly that happened to be Old Farts.): I want you to blow this up so I can read it easier.

Me: Okay. How large would you like it?

Old Fart: Eh, I dunno. Just make the words bigger.

Me: Okay. I can put it onto a larger sheet for you.

Old Fart: No, I don't want larger paper, I want the same size paper.

Me: What part do you want to crop out?

Old Fart: None! I want to whole thing. I just want it bigger.

Me: Well, sir, you have to have bigger paper if you want it copied larger. Your puzzle fills the entire sheet here.

Old Fart: Get someone over here who knows what the hell they are doing!

Me: Okay. Which one of these trainees would you like to help you?

This phenomenon is not limited to old people. Young people do it, too. You'd be astounded. It's just that older folks used to bring in their crosswords and crosstitch patterns and then get crabby more often.

Heres' one from my waitress days:

"Can you get me some pasta fagioli with no beans?" (pasta fagioli means pasta and BEANS. )

Dumb lines/conversations that really used to piss me off at Kinko's:

"Can I get it right now or will I have to wait a second?" Arrgh.

Me: When do you need it?
SC: As soon as possible.
Me: When is that?
SC As soon as possible!
Me: Okay, next month okay?
SC: No! I need it sooner than that!
Me: That's what I thought. When do you need it?


"I need it on bond paper. " (It's ALL bond paper, okay? There's a hundred different types of it here. Idiots.)

"I need 7 copies of a 500 page paper on cotton paper. Can I get it now? I've got five minutes to get to turn in my thesis paper."

"Can you do it for me out in self-serve?"

[pbmods]

"Thank you for calling (company) on (first street) and (second street), my name is (your name), how can I help you today?"
"Yes, is this the (company) on (first street) and (second street)?"

[Becks]

This phone call will be played by a pretty girl (me) and some asshat who doesn't listen (basically, any one of a lot of customers).

Me: West Allis Goodwill Store and Donation Center, BeckySunshine speaking. How may I help you?

Asshat: Is this the Goodwill Store?

Me: Yes.

Asshat: Do you take donations?

Me: (long suffering mental sigh) Yes.

Asshat: And where are you located?

[theredbaron47]

Me: West Allis Goodwill Store and Donation Center, BeckySunshine speaking. How may I help you?

Asshat: Is this the Goodwill Store?

Me: Yes.

Asshat: Do you take donations?

Me: (long suffering mental sigh) Yes.

Asshat: And where are you located?

See now, the way I prefer to look at it in order to retain my sanity is to tell myself that in situations such as these, this customer is filling the time gap where a truly sucky customer could have gone. A customer such as this, while obviously an idiot who doesn't listen or pay attention, is harmless.

But worth a few at the very least, anyway.

[South Texan]

From when I worked at Six Flags Over Texas, an amusement park in the Dallas/Fort Worth area:

Where is Sleeping Beauty’s Castle? Where is Pirates of the Caribbean? Where is It’s a Small World? Where is Space Mountain? Where can we meet Mickey Mouse?

Sometimes it took a while to convince them they were NOT in Disneyland in California or The Magic Kingdom in Florida. Then half the time they got mad and blamed me for their not knowing where they were. ("You mean we drove two hours to get here and you're not Disney? You have RUINED our vacation!")

Come on people. There were no Disney references or characters ANYWHERE in our advertisements or at the park entrance. If you are going to shell out the dough to go to an amusement park, you might check to make sure it is the one you want to visit before you make the trip or buy your ticket.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"Can you get me some pasta fagioli with no beans?" (pasta fagioli means pasta and BEANS. )

Ha ha, that's like ordering a cheeseburger without cheese!

One time I had some kids come into the store and ask me seriously "Where's your porn?"

I said "In the backroom, and only people who work here get to look at it."

Then they were all like "Cool! I want to work here!"

[Yossarian]

"Thank you for calling (company) on (first street) and (second street), my name is (your name), how can I help you today?"
"Yes, is this the (company) on (first street) and (second street)?"

Now, to be fair, a lot of times the employee is so sick of saying the same thing over and over that they say it so fast as to be unintelligable.

My first job, we were supposed to answer the phone with something like "Thank you for calling Best Co. of Boulder, where we have our 90 day low price match guarantee. This is Yossarian speaking, how may I help you." Of course, no one really cared about our 90 day guarantee, so we just tried to get it over as soon as possible. But then some people would just say "What was that?" and we'd have to repeat the whole damn thing.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

That Six Flags story has me just shaking my head. These people can vote. And drive. Which would explain a lot about the world.

Kinko's does close for short stints on major holidays. We are talking hours here, not days. We closed at 4pm on (I think it was) New Year Eve or something. Just as we locked the door, a lady started banging on it, saying (and this is my all time favorite stupid thing to say) "I just drove all the way up here from the Hampton street fountain."

That is within walking distance of the Kinko's. Seriously, driving from there would take something like 3 minutes, if that. You'll spend more time trying to find a place to park than it will take you to travel that distance in a car.

We didn't let her in, of course. And oddly, felt no guilt.

[Imogene]

Then they were all like "Cool! I want to work here!"

Where exactly do you work?

[Nick]

Hello

This phone call will be played by a pretty girl (me) and some asshat who doesn't listen (basically, any one of a lot of customers).

Me: West Allis Goodwill Store and Donation Center, BeckySunshine speaking. How may I help you?

Asshat: Is this the Goodwill Store?

Me: Yes.

Asshat: Do you take donations?

Me: (long suffering mental sigh) Yes.

Asshat: And where are you located?

You are from West Allis, WI? I'm from Hartland, WI. Funny thing, I will be in West Allis all weekend at a buddy of mines house

[aqutalion]

Ha ha, that's like ordering a cheeseburger without cheese!

I actually had someone order a cheeseburger without cheese once while I was working at McD's. Then again, they had a reason. They had a coupon for a free cheeseburger, but only wanted a hamburger. I still had to ring it up as a cheeseburger for the coupon to go through.

[Titi]

Me on phone: Kinko's, open 24 hours. How can I help you?
Idiot: What time do you open in the morning?
Me: We're open 24 hours.
Idiot:So, what time do you close?
Me: We are open round the clock. We do not close.
Idiot: So, are you open on the weekends?

Kill me. Not only have I had this conversation, but I've had it MANY MANY times, and in many different incarnations. I'd say the most common thing people asked, upon hearing that particular greeting was "How late are you open" or some variation thereof.

I feel you about that one. I even had people argue with me that the store was not opened 24 hours and I was lying to them.