Of Infantilistic Perverts and Tea Switching. (Long)

[ralerin]

Just. *sigh*

Tea Switching

At my Aid of Rite, we cannot sell single bottles out of 6 packs. It's the 6 pack or nothing.

Guy comes up with a 6 pack of "Blabatte Blue" and I mentally laugh. The "Blabatte" is 12 oz, and sticking out of one of the slots is a 16 oz "Mixed Up" Tea (I'm sure you know the one-comes in a distinctive yellow box?). I ask him, "Why do you have a Mixed Up Tea in your Blabatte"?

"Well, um, er, I...I just wanted to."

"I'm going to switch this back for you."

"No, I can get it!"

"No, I will get it." The "Mixed up" tea 6 pack is at least a good $2 more expensive than the "Blabatte". I wasn't going to stand the risk of him stealing the bottle of "Blabatte" he had stashed in the same "Mixed Up" Tea box. I bought it back to him, he left.

Infantilistic Pervert

Poor, poor, poor, poor S. She always seems to attract the worst of the perverts we have at our Aid of Rite and today was no exception. There is a time and a place for sexual fetishes, and I don't care what you do in bed with your partner(s) or how you do it. But subjecting others to it when the others don't consent...just sucks.

S=S herself

RC=Regular Customer

LP=Loss Prevention

*ring ring*

S: "Thank you for calling Aid of Rite, how may I help you?"

RC: "Oh, hello! I have a bit of a problem. You see, I happen to need kid's diapers, I'm too small to fit into adult diapers, I am incontinent."

S: "Oh, sure! Do you need prices and things?"

RC: "Yes please, do you have 'Panders' in size small?"

S: "Yes, I will go check!" *goes away, checks price, comes back* "We have Panders in size small, yes, at $xx.xx per pack."

RC: "Oh good. *heavy breathing* Oh...S...you sound like a pretty young thing, and so helpful! Do you think you could change my diaper?"

S: "Excuse me?"

RC: "*very heavy breathing* Do you think babies squirm when they get their diapers changed? I like to squirm when I get mine changed. When you were away, I just had a bowel movement and it feels so good squishing in my pants."

S: " "

RC: "*panting* Oh, I just urinated too, and it feels all warm dripping down my legs. S...do you want to come change me? If you don't, that's ok. I will come by and see you soon. *click*"

S: " "

A while later, guess who comes in? Luckily, LP Guy is around too.

RC: "Oh, S, honey, it felt so good on the phone. I'm all clean now."

S: *scrambles away, sees LP guy, briefly fills him in* LP Guy, please, get that nutcase AWAY from me."

LP: "So, RC, I heard the conversation you had with S."

RC: "I had NO such conversation? Who told you that? She's lying!"

LP: "Hey, I'm not accusing you of anything. If you didn't, great. If you did, make sure it doesn't happen again."

RC: "Yeah, whatever." *storm away*

He's a regular customer, which is why he recognized S right away on the phone. Notice she didn't introduce herself-he just assumed.

[Plaidman]

.... I'm speechless at the last.
Little odd he would come in...

Good thing he's banned now. Right?

[ralerin]

I don't believe so.

[Zeddmore]

.... I'm speechless at the last.
Little odd he would come in...

Good thing he's banned now. Right?

At the very least. Doesn't that count as sexual harassment?

[Plaidman]

Sexual harssament isn't a good enough to ban? Get phone records. That should not be a person allowed in the store.

[ralerin]

I agree. I think he should be; however, LP says that if he sees him again in the store, there will be a ban.

[Kristev]

There'd better be. That man was a nut.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

This is where you find the biggest, hairiest, most intimidating male member of the staff to change that freakzoid's diaper.

As roughly as possible. Because he loves to squirm when he gets his diaper changed.

[AtDIelement]

This is where you find the biggest, hairiest, most intimidating male member of the staff to change that freakzoid's diaper.

As roughly as possible. Because he loves to squirm when he gets his diaper changed.

My coffee is all over my keyboard.

[Seraph]

This is where you find the biggest, hairiest, most intimidating male member of the staff to change that freakzoid's diaper.

Awww, not fair subjecting one of the best cartoon characters ever to be related to that dude. ><

[XCashier]

This is where you find the biggest, hairiest, most intimidating male member of the staff to change that freakzoid's diaper.

As roughly as possible. Because he loves to squirm when he gets his diaper changed.

"Oh, lookee here, we're out of baby wipes. Guess I'll use this Brillo pad."

Seriously, this jerk had no right to harrass S like that. Did she notify the manager as well as LP?

I'm beginning to think they should teach anti-sexual harrassment courses in high school. Train naive young girls how to spot it and stop it.

[MadMike]

My wife used to work at a similar business, and she and her coworkers had quite a few crazies to deal with. Regarding the pervert in the second story, one of her female coworkers had a call, and the caller was asking about condoms. Specifically, he was looking for something "large, like 13 inches." Her coworker took it all in stride and told him he could come to the store, and she could measure it for him. From what she told me, he got all flustered and hung up.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Specifically, he was looking for something "large, like 13 inches."

I always thought the proper answer to that question was: "Yes, that's the small size."

[XCashier]

...the caller was asking about condoms. Specifically, he was looking for something "large, like 13 inches."

I always thought the proper answer to that question was: "Yes, that's the small size."

Or you could hand the guy a box of finger cots.

[draco664]

RC: "*very heavy breathing*

I've only had this sort of thing happen once to me. I just started saying random single words. As I recall, the conversation went something like

Idiot : *heavy panting* I'm <doing something explicit> Do you like it?

Me: Forty-three.

I: <pause> I love doing it. Want to join me?

M: Jabberwock.

I: <another pause> I like being spanked.

M: Antidisestablishmentarianism.

I: What the fuck is wrong with you? <hangs up>


And yes, the irony of a pervert demanding to know what was wrong with me has been well and truly diseminated by many, many people. I use it as an excuse..