8 stories from my first week as a lumber jockey (long)

[draftermatt]

I started my new job on March 27. Part time at a national hardware and home improvement store that sponsors a NASCAR team.

Apologies to whomever uses this thread format and feels I am abusing it

Training?
This is more a morons in management but it fits in my thread here

My first two weeks of schedule were handed to me where I was told I'd "most likely be done with the computer training by then". This was for six 4 hour shifts, I finished in 3.

So I was put on the floor on a night where my manager wasn't working. First they sent me on a delivery, when I got back I spent the rest of the night following a coworker around like a puppy until she ditched me and I had to figure out what to do the rest of the night.

Friday night I came into work to find I'm in trouble with HR because my manager hasn't completed some training paper work. You know, the manager I haven't met yet...

I worked with him Friday night and all day Sunday, I brought it up, we didn't do it. Now he's going away for two weeks. Yippee!

Yes Ma'am Freakishly Strong. Call me Bruce

I thought this was cute

Little old lady came in with a list of things, she came to me.

Last thing she needed was cement board, so I grabbed some and put it on her cart.

LOL: "My you certainly are strong"
Me: "Well at least I have that going for me"

Hail me for I am the Captain

I'm stacking wood when a guy walks past. I ask if he needs help, got a curt "Nope", ok I go back to my stacking.

Sure enough a few minutes later he comes up to me

OM "Hey there captain!"
Me "Yes sir" (thinking, captain?)

He needed some wood siding, I showed him what we had, he needed more. So I went looking, asked a co-worker (this was my 2nd night on the floor) he said "tell him I'll be right with him"

So I go back and get mumbled at for not knowing, can't get good help, etc.

Hey, at least I got you help, I could have blown you off.

Calm down pal, it's wood

Dude comes in needing birch veneer plywood. Having never heard of this product I go off in search of it. I am lead towards birch/maple veneer, as that is all we have.

Upon telling Dude of this I hear

"That's all you hear know, either we don't know what it is, or we don't stock it, freaking ridiculous..."

He was walking away so I missed the rest.

Seriously, move stop being a prick

Sir, I am walking to clear the path for my co-worker on that forklift with the few hundred pounds of wood on it. When I ask if you mind moving for a minute the proper response is "certainly" not "maybe I do mind" laughing thinking it's funny.

Thankfully your wife/girlfriend said "well if you don't that large forklift might make you" before I had to.

Seriously, the vest may look dumb but it doesn't make me dumb. I'm just trying to do my job and keep you safe, why make life more difficult than it has to be. You were chatting, not buying anything, you kept on chatting a good 15 minutes after you moved. And really, why chat in the middle of a busy aisle?

Convo with a co-worker

Me "What do you want it cut to"
CW "66 inches"
Me "Well I don't have that board stretcher that our orange competitors have, I can't give you 66 inches out of a 48 inch piece"

Why do we need 8 people here?

Sunday I was scheduled for 6A-3P. Why I had to be there at 6 when the store opens at 8 I don't know. I put returns away (night guys should have done that) and cleaned.

I then spent my entire morning working like an asshole keeping things stocked. I went to lunch and came back to find the closing shift guys on (working 12-9). And of course thanks to my and the other morning guys hard work there was nothing to do.

So we stranded around waiting for customers, who complained (some jokingly some not) about our standing around

"Working hard huh?"
"Hate to interrupt as you're so busy"

Of course I'm sure they'd be the same people to complain if we were all slammed and they had to push the button at the saw, or come find us. But whatever.

Not the mill!

Guy comes up to my coworker (who seems clueless) and asks about fence posts. Co-worker has no clue what he's asking for. I overhear and ask what's up.

(CM is customer)

CM "I need decorative posts"
Me "They're right at the end of the aisle"
CM "I looked at those, that's not at all what I want"
Me "So what do you need?"
CM "Fencing"
Me "Oh, fencing is down in lawn and garden, outside"
CM "I just want individual pickets"
Me "They sell those too"
CM "What if I want to make my own"
Me "Do you have a lathe"
CM "I don't need a lathe"
Me "Well, no technically, but it would look nicer, all our treated lumber is right here"
CM "I need something thinner!"
Me "Ok, we have 1" thick stuff in treated up this next aisle"
CM "Fence pickets are not 1" thick!"
Me "I'm aware of that, we don't have anything that thin in treated"
CM "It doesn't have to be treated!"

Side note, if you're building a fence and not using treated lumber you're going to have to seal it or paint it a lot.

Me "Ok, we don't have anything thinner than that in untreated either"
CM "Well, we'll just have to go to a mill then"
Me "Ok, have a nice day"

I don't think he meant it as a threat, but it came off that way. I can't make thin lumber appear from thin air, I'm sorry. And what mill do you speak of? I know of one around us, and I know those guys personally, they're not selling you any wood.

[HYHYBT]

Side note, if you're building a fence and not using treated lumber you're going to have to seal it or paint it a lot.

Yeah, I've got one of those. All rotted and ugly. But if that's what he wants...

[ApolloSZ]

I misread it as "As a lumber jack"
First I was going to break into "I'm a lumber jack and I'm okay...."
Now I just want to know....

Do the chainsaws actually say "Do not attempt to stop blade with hands or groin." or is that an urban legend.....

[LadyAndreca]

Your orange competitor sponsors a NASCAR team too. Until about halfway through your post I thought I had a new company coworker to commiserate with.

That being said, I'm trained in the lumber department for our store though I don't actually work the floor (cashiers have to know Lumber and Garden as their two sister departments since there's registers in those departments), and man, I can certainly see any or all of the above happening at my store. Especially the threatening to go to a mill. We're always going "Yeah, you're going to have to. That's a specialty item. We don't carry it, Blue Competitor doesn't carry it."

Also, I wish our store had a board stretcher!

[Stryker One]

Board Stretcher

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw3kpyd9sUw

[ThirdGenRetail]

Your orange competitor sponsors a NASCAR team too. Until about halfway through your post I thought I had a new company coworker to commiserate with.

You don't, but I do Or I'm guessing I do. If I do, I welcome the OP to the company

The people asking if you need something to do irritate the living daylights out of me. They always ask stuff like that as I'm walking around the counter to stand in front of the register... I've mostly given up on bothering to go around, customers come up so frequently.

[EricKei]

"That's all you hear know, either we don't know what it is, or we don't stock it, freaking ridiculous..."

Maybe it's just me, but I would do the math here and figure out that that particular item is either exceedingly uncommon or simply does not exist.

Sunday I was scheduled for 6A-3P. Why I had to be there at 6 when the store opens at 8 I don't know. I put returns away (night guys should have done that) and cleaned.

I think you answered your own question >_>

[roguesqd]

welcome to the team, and don't forget...customer focus, and impact hours, oh and mystery shoppers

[Racket_Man]

I misread it as "As a lumber jack"
First I was going to break into "I'm a lumber jack and I'm okay...."
Now I just want to know....

Do the chainsaws actually say "Do not attempt to stop blade with hands or groin." or is that an urban legend.....

sadly yes there is that warning on chainsaws asnd various other powered tools

and yes someone had to post this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL7n5mEmXJo

and the Greeman version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiVOG199X2c

[draftermatt]

Your orange competitor sponsors a NASCAR team too. Until about halfway through your post I thought I had a new company coworker to commiserate with.

That being said, I'm trained in the lumber department for our store though I don't actually work the floor (cashiers have to know Lumber and Garden as their two sister departments since there's registers in those departments)

I know both do, I was hoping to have an air of mystery, then blue it (heh)

I've been told I'll eventually be trained on register in case we get slammed, I'm not looking forward to that.

You don't, but I do Or I'm guessing I do. If I do, I welcome the OP to the company

The people asking if you need something to do irritate the living daylights out of me. They always ask stuff like that as I'm walking around the counter to stand in front of the register... I've mostly given up on bothering to go around, customers come up so frequently.

Do you wear a red vest and work in a mostly blue store? If so hi!

It's funny, all morning I walked the aisles approaching customers, etc. After 6 hours of that I was tired, no one else was doing it so I started standing. Oh well.

I think you answered your own question >_>

Yes and no. What I did was supposed to have been done the night before, and the whole point of early Sunday people is to stock shelves it appears (no night crew on weekends) which I couldn't have done anyway since I'm not allowed to run the forklift. I think it was more of a supposed to be training with my manager deal, but that didn't work.

welcome to the team, and don't forget...customer focus, and impact hours, oh and mystery shoppers

Woo hoo. The first two I know about, haven't been told to watch out for mystery shoppers, but I try to be nice to everyone so I should be ok.

[EricKei]

Woo hoo. The first two I know about, haven't been told to watch out for mystery shoppers, but I try to be nice to everyone so I should be ok.

Exactly. They don't WANT you to be on the lookout for Mystery shoppers. They want you to go overboard with saccharine sweetness and treat everybody perfectly. Because, as we all know, it's possible to do EVERYTHING they want you to do (stocking, helping people, LP, cleaning, facing product, etc etc etc) while simultaneously helping everybody all at once.

Back at GameStore they LOVED mysteryshops. My store got hit more than anyone else in the district...either despite, or simply because of the fact that we never failed them. We got the impression that they wanted us to fail, just so they'd have something to yell at us about. Note that a 90% score is a Fail, and "not giving someone the full greeting spiel within a few seconds of them entering the store" causes you to be docked 10% right off of the top...Most real customers walked away or got downright hostile if we gave the full spiel...

[ThirdGenRetail]

Do you wear a red vest and work in a mostly blue store? If so hi!

It's funny, all morning I walked the aisles approaching customers, etc. After 6 hours of that I was tired, no one else was doing it so I started standing. Oh well.

Yes I do, and no, you will not look forward to the register XD; Over at our store, we had a Hardware guy have to go on the registers after an injury(Try your hardest not to get hurt that badly, BTW...), he quit after about a month on the registers. You get an SC in a department, you can pass them to somebody who may know far more than you... You get one on a register, and you can't escape.

Also, at the end of the night, it's the responsibility of... Whoever is in the department. The night stockers just stock new product, I think. So, whoever your closers for Lumber were on Saturday, they're the ones to jab with a Rebar pole about those reshops.

Also, you're wearing a blue vest? oO Huh... I've only seen the store and department managers wearing one, and then they tend to pass it around in shifts of "It's your turn to be the wandering manager." I also can't imagine why you'd be in the store at 6am on a Sunday Maybe your store just REALLY wants to make sure people get in on time?

[protege]

I also can't imagine why you'd be in the store at 6am on a Sunday Maybe your store just REALLY wants to make sure people get in on time?

Hechinger's used to pull that crap too. I never understood why they'd have the front-end gofers in that early...when the store didn't open until 8:30 or 9am, IIRC. Outside, where I worked, there was literally nothing to do. There's only so much sidewalk to sweep, and so many plants you can rearrange before you go nuts

[draftermatt]

Y So, whoever your closers for Lumber were on Saturday, they're the ones to jab with a Rebar pole about those reshops.

Also, you're wearing a blue vest? oO Huh... I've only seen the store and department managers wearing one, and then they tend to pass it around in shifts of "It's your turn to be the wandering manager." I also can't imagine why you'd be in the store at 6am on a Sunday Maybe your store just REALLY wants to make sure people get in on time?

That's what I meant, is "why didn't Saturday's closers put this stuff away"

I have a red vest, blue seems to be the wandering manager, you're right on that. Though it does help me learn who's my boss.

I still think the 6AM Sunday thing was because they wanted my manager to train me on things, but he just never did. He even seemed surprised at my being there so early, even though he scheduled me. Since it was just him and I in lumber, and the cleaning staff, and I think I saw maybe 5 other people around that morning.