Oh My! Violence!

[BookBint]

This happened about ten minutes ago, and no one in the office is getting back to work any time soon!

One of the editors had an author in, who I happened to see walk past - big, burly, sunglasses on his head (it's raining outside, no sun, totally unnecessary) flashy shirt, about 40 but trying to look 20. Not a good start. They went into one of the meeting rooms. A few minutes afterwards the editor's assistant, who is a sweet girl, only 19, came running out crying.

Turns out she had brough the author a cup of coffee, who had thanked her rather creepily and then suddenly kissed her on the cheek. In a total reflex action she whacked him across the face and burst into tears!

She was a mess (something about having nearly been assaulted at university, unfortunately my eavesdropping skills are not what they used to be) and the author was angry, saying she had totally overreacted.

I guess in a perfect world he wouldn't have been overfriendly to a young girl who had never met him before and she would have told him off verbally rather than hitting him, but either way, it's all anyone is talking about...

[RavenStarr]

What the hell??!! was that jackass thinking? He kisses a girl he's never met on the cheek. Then has the audacity to get mad when she slapped him. Personally I think she should have kicked him in the balls instead.

I hope she will be okay. She wasn't in the room alone with him was she?

Ban his ass.

[BookBint]

She wasn't in the room alone with him was she?

No, the editor was there too, who said that the author seemed to be trying to be all 'mwah mwah darling' rather than pervy. Dear dear.

[RavenStarr]

That's good. Even if he wasn't trying to be a perv, he still shouldn't have done that. A handshake would have been more appropriate.

I do hope he learned a lesson from this.

[BaristaTrav]

Unless we're in Italy or Russia, that was totally inappropriate of author-guy.

On the other hand, this poor girl certainly seems as though she needs some counseling or something and probably has PTSD.

[Magpie]

I have reflexively hit a guy. It resulted in both of us apologising to each other. It's really easy to develop it. The catch was that I was hitting him away from me at the time, not just a "you jerk" *smack*.

I honestly don't see how a buss on the cheek gets confused with being creepy though. Although with how that guy was dressed I'd probably be on edge too.

[Aisling]

I honestly don't see how a buss on the cheek gets confused with being creepy though.

After an encounter with sexual assault, lots of people develop aversion to any unwanted intimacy, no matter how innocent or well-intended it was. And frankly, it doesn't matter if you understand it. Nobody has to understand it, not even the victim. The important thing is that people accept that she's allowed to be upset and scared, instead of trying to minimize her feelings by saying they're unreasonable.

[Red_Dazes]

Personally, as someone who has personal space issues...as in don't be in mine... I can totally see how a kiss on the cheek can be misinterpreted. Poor girl, I hope she is okay, I'd say go give her a hug...but it would probably make things worse.... so maybe a cookie.

As for the guy... he really needs to learn that it's not okay to do stuff like that to a stranger. It gets you slapped.

[Mystic]

America is a lot less physical in greeting than places like, say, France. Author has learned a lesson in this I hope.

[chainedbarista]

his intent is unimportant; the fact that she was offended/frightened by it is. he was way out of line to touch someone like that without knowing them and deserved more than just a smack; he's lucky she wasn't carrying pepper spray...

[redmountaingoldfish]

I honestly don't see how a buss on the cheek gets confused with being creepy though.

In the UK, unwanted kissing is legally defined as sexual harassment, and is against the law.

http://www.safeworkers.co.uk/SexualHarassmentWork.html

/The more you know....

[Indigo]

I hope the author has learned his lesson about unexpected physical contact. I don't even like people sneaking up on me, much less touching me when not invited.

Side note: I almost decked one of my drawing teachers during my freshman year of college. He had a bad habit of walking so quietly that you could barely hear him come up behind you. Add that to I tend to tune things out while drawing and we get the following: Teacher walks up, I don't hear him approach. He is looking over my shoulder at my drawing and begins to speak (almost in my ear). I whirl around and had he not ducked I would have caught him right in the nose. He learned to jingle his keys or cough when approaching me from then on.

[Mishi]

Poor girl! Hope she's okay and doesn't get fired over it. The author should know better than to try and kiss someone that he's just met, even as as innocently as bussing them on the cheek.

[Seshat]

Important stage when preparing to touch someone, even someone you know well: telegraph the move. Make it clear what you're planning to do, in advance of the movement. And then pay attention. If they seem at all uncertain or unhappy, modify the approach to a more neutral action.

I agree. He was at fault. And she needs victim support. (Not from him - from whatever has her having a trauma reaction.)

[Marmalady]

I'm with the girl, what made him think he had the right to kiss her?
I'm a fairly demonstrative person, with people I know and love, but I hate it when someone I don't know or don't like feels they can just grab or touch me.