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Curse You, Cruise Ships!
Key West makes much of its revenue from cruise ships passing through, which is pretty much a daily occurrence. But I curse them for the disservice they are doing their staff. And, through their staff, to ME.
It seems cruise ships have this policy with their staff that they keep the staffs' passport on the ship to make sure (I guess) that the staff returns to the ship from whatever port they are at. (I can't think of another reason, so that's my best guess as to why they do this.) Leaving the staff with no ID but their cruise ship staff ID.
Which, naturally, results in my being forced to refuse sales of drinks to cruise ship staff (usually Europeans) who have no form of ID that the State of Florida will actually accept for alcohol purchases. Which then results in my being forced to explain the law and that, no, while their ID is a picture ID, it is not valid for alcohol purchases here. Silly law? Perhaps. Still one I have to work under. (Bonus points to the cruise ship staff that have their visa papers that allow them to be here, but not any form of ID I can actually take...like, say, a bloody driver's license.)
This happened to me on two separate occasions yesterday, and is a frequent source of annoyance. To the ship's staff because it means they can't drink on their limited time away from the boat, and their bosses didn't inform them of this; and to me because it means I end up looking like the bad guy.
Bars Are a Great Place for Children
This is directed at Americans only, as I really don't know quite how it works in Europe or other countries. So, to my fellow countrymen and countrywomen....NO, your children are not allowed to sit at the bar. Why are you acting so surprised? Please, tell me about all the bars you have where you are from that actually allow toddlers to sit at the bar! Better yet, explain to me why you think it is perfectly alright for me to allow you to have your teenagers sitting with you at the bar while you consume alcohol?
Bonus points to the people that get offended by this, and leave the establishment.
Double bonus points to the people who think it is perfectly reasonable to have their children out with them, walking down Duval Street past all the bars, clubs, and what have you, at midnight or later.
Parking is a Selfish Activity
My morning started out swimmingly. I was driving to work and looking for a spot to park in. Downtown Key West, where I work, is notoriously scarce on parking, and I generally either park several blocks away from work and walk, or park a block away but pay several dollars to do so. Free parking near work is a huge plus.
So imagine my delight when I saw, just two blocks from work, a couple loading up their car that was parked in free parking. Imagine my greater delight when they confirmed to me that they were, in fact, leaving.
So I did what anyone else would do....I assumed the "holding pattern" of parking in the street, a bit back of where they were parked, with my right turn signal on, obviously waiting for the parking spot. And waving people behind me around me while I waited the few minutes for them to depart. I feel the need to point out that this was not a main arterial street, nor was it clogged with traffic...just the occasional car going by in either direction.
And then one car got behind me and started honking. I waved it around....and it honked more, not moving. Finally the driver got the hint, and pulled around when it was clear to do so. And she stopped next to me and the driver yelled at me, "You think you're so self-important!"
Say.....WHAT?
So I did what you would expect me to do. I lost it. "NO, I DON'T. I'M JUST WAITING TO PARK!" But of course, before I could even finish this thought, she had sped off, showing me who's boss. After all, who was I to think that I had any right to actually, I dunno, park my vehicle in a free space? Like everyone else in Key West tries to do every single day? I guess blocking her forward progress or perhaps denying her the spot I had been waiting for was just too rude and self-centered of me. Whatever was I thinking?
A Conversation I Have Almost Daily
CUSTOMER: "You have an upstairs deck?"
ME: "Yes we do."
CUSTOMER: "How do we get up there?"
ME: "Walk...up....the stairs."
A for Effort. F for Execution and Attitude.
ME: "Can I get you something to drink?"
DUDE: "Yuengling please."
ME: "Bottle or draft?"
DUDE: "Draft."
ME: "May I see your ID please?"
At which point he vaguely glares at me, but gives me his ID. And I look at the date of birth. Which was June of 1991. Which obviously takes only upper level math majors to figure out makes him all of 18. The drinking age in Florida is 21. Key West is part of Florida.
ME: "I'm sorry sir, I can't serve you. You're not 21."
At which he stares at me like I am nuts, then glares at me as he takes his ID, then leaves without a word.
Yeah, fuck you too, Junior. I hope you die of thirst.
My Coworkers are Trying to Kill Me
I do a lot of the stocking at The Bar, as that is part of the duties of the day bartenders, and I am the downstairs day bartender four of the seven days in the week. A major part of this is stocking bottled beer. One policy we have at The Bar is that if you use only part of a case (say a six or twelve pack), you are supposed to put any loose six packs remaining on the shelves in the beer cooler designated for this, and break down the box they came in.
Many times at work I will find an opened case of beer, with a six or twelve pack still in the box, but the other beers obviously taken by another bartender who was stocking. Lazy, sure, but being the anal freak I am, I usually end up playing maid for my coworkers and finishing the job they were supposed to do. Whatever. Annoying, sure, but no big deal.
Until, that is, it gets dangerous.
Two weeks ago, I noticed several partial cases opened with beer removed, but the cases left there, not broken down. Damn lazy people! Included in them was a case of Corona Light with two six-packs still in it. So I went to put the six-packs on the shelves. Noticing that there was already a six-pack of Corona Light with one bottle missing (presumable broken in shipping and disposed of by whoever put it there), I reached for the five-pack to pull it forward and put the others behind it. And that is when I discovered two things: (1) yes, one of the bottles had broken, and (2) whoever had put the six-pack there had not, in fact, disposed of the broken one. And I discovered this with one of my fingers that had reached into the pack to pull it forward.
Now kids, it doesn't take a genius to know that when a finger mixes it up with a broken beer bottle, the broken beer bottle is going to win. Every. Single. Time.
So yeah...sliced the fuck out of my finger, and I was bleeding profusely. I grabbed a napkin to staunch the bleeding and told one of my coworkers to get the manager. He gets up there, and I explain the situation, show him the culprit, all the while bleeding through the napkin. And I VENT. Oh how I vented. Went off like an ignored English kettle at tea time. He takes care of the broken bottle, cleans off the other five to make sure they have no stray glass shards on them, and bandages me up. I go back to work, very angry at whoever did this, and a bit shaken. My two customers at the bar (it was a slow time of day) suggest I do a shot to settle me, and while I have made countless jokes about "medicinal" booze in the past, this was the first time I actually used it as such. And yes, the shot settled me right down. (I apologized later to my manager, but he said there was no need, as I was absolutely right.)
I vented to my friends that night, and one of them told me that I was never going to find out who did it. And I don't expect to, and told them that. I just wanted whoever did it to feel horrible about their laziness, as it had now gotten beyond merely slacking into the area of dangerous. And I wanted the point to be made that this kind of shit is Unacceptable.
So yesterday while stocking, I noticed (wait for it......) an open case of Corona Light, with two six-packs still in it. Damn lazy people! And upon closer examination, I noticed one of the six-packs had a broken bottle in it, left there for someone else to find.
Are you kidding me? Really? Really? To quote John McEnroe, "you cannot be serious!" I pointed this out to the general manager, apprising him also of the earlier situation, and went off more than I did the first time. I was PISSED. I later apologized to him, but just like the other manager, the GM said I was absolutely right. And he is going to be making a point with the other bartenders of letting them know that this is Unacceptalbe, and that the policy of breaking cases down must be followed.
So I breathlessly await the next attempt on my life by one of my coworkers, bandages and medical tape at the ready.
Breathe...........
Key West makes much of its revenue from cruise ships passing through, which is pretty much a daily occurrence. But I curse them for the disservice they are doing their staff. And, through their staff, to ME.
It seems cruise ships have this policy with their staff that they keep the staffs' passport on the ship to make sure (I guess) that the staff returns to the ship from whatever port they are at. (I can't think of another reason, so that's my best guess as to why they do this.) Leaving the staff with no ID but their cruise ship staff ID.
Which, naturally, results in my being forced to refuse sales of drinks to cruise ship staff (usually Europeans) who have no form of ID that the State of Florida will actually accept for alcohol purchases. Which then results in my being forced to explain the law and that, no, while their ID is a picture ID, it is not valid for alcohol purchases here. Silly law? Perhaps. Still one I have to work under. (Bonus points to the cruise ship staff that have their visa papers that allow them to be here, but not any form of ID I can actually take...like, say, a bloody driver's license.)
This happened to me on two separate occasions yesterday, and is a frequent source of annoyance. To the ship's staff because it means they can't drink on their limited time away from the boat, and their bosses didn't inform them of this; and to me because it means I end up looking like the bad guy.
Bars Are a Great Place for Children
This is directed at Americans only, as I really don't know quite how it works in Europe or other countries. So, to my fellow countrymen and countrywomen....NO, your children are not allowed to sit at the bar. Why are you acting so surprised? Please, tell me about all the bars you have where you are from that actually allow toddlers to sit at the bar! Better yet, explain to me why you think it is perfectly alright for me to allow you to have your teenagers sitting with you at the bar while you consume alcohol?
Bonus points to the people that get offended by this, and leave the establishment.
Double bonus points to the people who think it is perfectly reasonable to have their children out with them, walking down Duval Street past all the bars, clubs, and what have you, at midnight or later.
Parking is a Selfish Activity
My morning started out swimmingly. I was driving to work and looking for a spot to park in. Downtown Key West, where I work, is notoriously scarce on parking, and I generally either park several blocks away from work and walk, or park a block away but pay several dollars to do so. Free parking near work is a huge plus.
So imagine my delight when I saw, just two blocks from work, a couple loading up their car that was parked in free parking. Imagine my greater delight when they confirmed to me that they were, in fact, leaving.
So I did what anyone else would do....I assumed the "holding pattern" of parking in the street, a bit back of where they were parked, with my right turn signal on, obviously waiting for the parking spot. And waving people behind me around me while I waited the few minutes for them to depart. I feel the need to point out that this was not a main arterial street, nor was it clogged with traffic...just the occasional car going by in either direction.
And then one car got behind me and started honking. I waved it around....and it honked more, not moving. Finally the driver got the hint, and pulled around when it was clear to do so. And she stopped next to me and the driver yelled at me, "You think you're so self-important!"
Say.....WHAT?
So I did what you would expect me to do. I lost it. "NO, I DON'T. I'M JUST WAITING TO PARK!" But of course, before I could even finish this thought, she had sped off, showing me who's boss. After all, who was I to think that I had any right to actually, I dunno, park my vehicle in a free space? Like everyone else in Key West tries to do every single day? I guess blocking her forward progress or perhaps denying her the spot I had been waiting for was just too rude and self-centered of me. Whatever was I thinking?
A Conversation I Have Almost Daily
CUSTOMER: "You have an upstairs deck?"
ME: "Yes we do."
CUSTOMER: "How do we get up there?"
ME: "Walk...up....the stairs."
A for Effort. F for Execution and Attitude.
ME: "Can I get you something to drink?"
DUDE: "Yuengling please."
ME: "Bottle or draft?"
DUDE: "Draft."
ME: "May I see your ID please?"
At which point he vaguely glares at me, but gives me his ID. And I look at the date of birth. Which was June of 1991. Which obviously takes only upper level math majors to figure out makes him all of 18. The drinking age in Florida is 21. Key West is part of Florida.
ME: "I'm sorry sir, I can't serve you. You're not 21."
At which he stares at me like I am nuts, then glares at me as he takes his ID, then leaves without a word.
Yeah, fuck you too, Junior. I hope you die of thirst.
My Coworkers are Trying to Kill Me
I do a lot of the stocking at The Bar, as that is part of the duties of the day bartenders, and I am the downstairs day bartender four of the seven days in the week. A major part of this is stocking bottled beer. One policy we have at The Bar is that if you use only part of a case (say a six or twelve pack), you are supposed to put any loose six packs remaining on the shelves in the beer cooler designated for this, and break down the box they came in.
Many times at work I will find an opened case of beer, with a six or twelve pack still in the box, but the other beers obviously taken by another bartender who was stocking. Lazy, sure, but being the anal freak I am, I usually end up playing maid for my coworkers and finishing the job they were supposed to do. Whatever. Annoying, sure, but no big deal.
Until, that is, it gets dangerous.
Two weeks ago, I noticed several partial cases opened with beer removed, but the cases left there, not broken down. Damn lazy people! Included in them was a case of Corona Light with two six-packs still in it. So I went to put the six-packs on the shelves. Noticing that there was already a six-pack of Corona Light with one bottle missing (presumable broken in shipping and disposed of by whoever put it there), I reached for the five-pack to pull it forward and put the others behind it. And that is when I discovered two things: (1) yes, one of the bottles had broken, and (2) whoever had put the six-pack there had not, in fact, disposed of the broken one. And I discovered this with one of my fingers that had reached into the pack to pull it forward.
Now kids, it doesn't take a genius to know that when a finger mixes it up with a broken beer bottle, the broken beer bottle is going to win. Every. Single. Time.
So yeah...sliced the fuck out of my finger, and I was bleeding profusely. I grabbed a napkin to staunch the bleeding and told one of my coworkers to get the manager. He gets up there, and I explain the situation, show him the culprit, all the while bleeding through the napkin. And I VENT. Oh how I vented. Went off like an ignored English kettle at tea time. He takes care of the broken bottle, cleans off the other five to make sure they have no stray glass shards on them, and bandages me up. I go back to work, very angry at whoever did this, and a bit shaken. My two customers at the bar (it was a slow time of day) suggest I do a shot to settle me, and while I have made countless jokes about "medicinal" booze in the past, this was the first time I actually used it as such. And yes, the shot settled me right down. (I apologized later to my manager, but he said there was no need, as I was absolutely right.)
I vented to my friends that night, and one of them told me that I was never going to find out who did it. And I don't expect to, and told them that. I just wanted whoever did it to feel horrible about their laziness, as it had now gotten beyond merely slacking into the area of dangerous. And I wanted the point to be made that this kind of shit is Unacceptable.
So yesterday while stocking, I noticed (wait for it......) an open case of Corona Light, with two six-packs still in it. Damn lazy people! And upon closer examination, I noticed one of the six-packs had a broken bottle in it, left there for someone else to find.
Are you kidding me? Really? Really? To quote John McEnroe, "you cannot be serious!" I pointed this out to the general manager, apprising him also of the earlier situation, and went off more than I did the first time. I was PISSED. I later apologized to him, but just like the other manager, the GM said I was absolutely right. And he is going to be making a point with the other bartenders of letting them know that this is Unacceptalbe, and that the policy of breaking cases down must be followed.
So I breathlessly await the next attempt on my life by one of my coworkers, bandages and medical tape at the ready.
Breathe...........
)
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