When we think one thing but must say another...

[RxBoy]

I was talking with a few of my co-workers today about how we often must say one thing to a customer when we are thinking something else in our heads. Let's try it here. Post something you commonly hear from your customers along with your actual response to them. Then post the response that you think of in your head but don't actually say out loud.



C: "Every time I come to this pharmacy there's a problem!"

Me: "I'm sorry about the trouble, I will get this fixed right away for you."

Thinking: "Then you are an idiot because you keep coming back. If I repeatedly have problems at a store, I stop going back."




C: "This long line is ridiculous! They need to have more help on!"

Me: (smiling) "I wish they would give me more help."

Thinking: "Well, nobody is holding a gun to your head making you stand here. If you don't want to wait there are plenty of other pharmacies in this city you could go to."




C: "I'm sick of always having problems here. I'm thinking about switching to another pharmacy."

Me: "I'm very sorry about the trouble. I will speak to my manager and see if we can prevent this from happening again."

Thinking: "Go ahead and go somewhere else. Do you honestly think I care?"




C: "I thought my prescription was supposed to be $4. That sign saying $4 generics is misleading!"

Me: "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. It's only for selected generic drugs."

Thinking: "If you don't know how to read, that's not our fault. Go get an education."



C: "This is the last time I'm ever coming here!"

Me: "I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope you will reconsider."

Thinking: "Yeah right, I only wish. See ya next week!"

[jedimaster91]

Me: I'm going to give you a radioactive tracer. It won't make you feel any different; it just lets us take pictures.

Patient: It's not dye, is it?! I'm allergic to dye!

Me: It's not a dye. It's a chemical the body thinks is <insert relevent substance> tagged to a small amount of radiation so we can take a picture.

Thinking: Do we have on our LISTENING EARS?

[Aisling]

Me: I'm going to give you a radioactive tracer. It won't make you feel any different; it just lets us take pictures.

Patient: It's not dye, is it?! I'm allergic to dye!

Me: It's not a dye. It's a chemical the body thinks is <insert relevent substance> tagged to a small amount of radiation so we can take a picture.

Thinking: Do we have on our LISTENING EARS?

I wouldn't know whether a "radioactive tracer" contained dye (or something like it) or not either. Not everyone understands medical jargon. And given how easily dangerous mix-ups can be made in hospitals, I think it's very prudent of a patient to double-check things. Now, if you'd already explained that there was no dye involved, then yes, the patient should try and listen better.

But on the other side of things: my mom is allergic to Penicillin, and all Penicillin-based antibiotics. This makes getting meds that work very hard for her on the best of days. One time when she was sick, her usual Dr. was on vacation so she saw someone else. It's written very clearly in her records that she can't have certain antibiotics. She also told him, as did the nurse (who knew us). He still gave her something Penicillin-based--THREE TIMES. Thankfully the pharmacist caught it before filling any of the scripts.

[South Texan]

Defendant: "All you care about is money. You don't give a (shuck) about me!"

Me: "Madam, the Judge set you fine in accordance with the law after you were found guilty. I cannot overrule the Judge nor violate the law for you. I am sorry, but the amount of your fine is what it is."

Thinking: "BINGO!"

[Midnight_Angel]

Client: "Oh, we revised the specifications and changed two of the reactor vessels... you will be able to change the constuction layout accordingly before the deadline, wont't you?"

Me: "Well; we'll see what we can do, and do whatever is humanly possible..."

Thinking: .oO(Looked at it, laughed at it, dismissed it. Say farewell to your deadline, friend)

Client: "Not good enough. We require the changes to be included next week."

Me: "I still cannot promise anything definite. However, I will personally ask our project leader"

Thinking .oO(Who, by the way, is on vacation until Friday...)

[Magpie]

Them: *whine* not enough marks *whine* can't possibly be my fault *whine* you screwed up

Me: Well, I can look at it, and re-mark it and I'll see if there's anywhere we gave you too many or too few marks.

Thinking: How do you have so little understanding of the course material that you not only screwed up this badly, but think you got an answer that resembles the correct one!

Note that this only applies to the ones who come and whine and complain and accuse me of screwing up (as opposed to the "I think you might have made a mistake" or "I don't understand why this was marked wrong").

[TelephoneAngel]

customer "get me a supervisor"
me "ok"

me *but the supervisor will only tell you exactly what I just told you, because those are the regulations we have to abide by, we cannot bend them in any way, to do so would be illegal"



customer "why have i been waiting so long for the phone to be answered?"
me "i am very sorry we are very busy today"

me *do you not understand that you saying that increased the next person's wait time on the phone by the thirty seconds that exchange took, and so on all day untill by the end of the day, saying that adds six minutes to each wait time?*

[the optician]

them :i always have trouble here,my contact lenses are always late.half the time you send the wrong ones and your always taking too much money.
me :and youve come back?
thinking :really?youve come back?

[jedimaster91]

I wouldn't know whether a "radioactive tracer" contained dye (or something like it) or not either. Not everyone understands medical jargon. And given how easily dangerous mix-ups can be made in hospitals, I think it's very prudent of a patient to double-check things. Now, if you'd already explained that there was no dye involved, then yes, the patient should try and listen better.

That's why I emphasize that it won't make them feel any different and that all it does is make the target organ visible for the camera. My tracers have no side effects except for the rare metallic aftertaste. I've been doing Nucs for several years now and have never come across anyone who's gotten the bad taste. CT contrast (dye) on the other hand, has a long list of potential side effects and allergic reactions, which are all explained prior to the procedure. So while it may be prudent to double-check, if patients would listen a little better, half of their questions would already be answered. Sometimes I think patients get so caught up in making sure we know what they can't have, that they completely miss that we weren't going to give it to them anyway.




My other favorite:

Me: So what's been going on that your doctor wants this test?
Patient: I have no idea.
Me: *starts going through relevent symptoms*
Thinking: *headdesk* Seriously, people. If your doctor orders a test and you don't know why, ask. It makes my job and your life much easier.

[dalesys]

...Me: So what's been going on that your doctor wants this test?
Patient: I have no idea...

The doctor wants to verify their diagnosis of ancerebral syndrome.

[Exaspera]

Customer: *gets seated with 7 others 5 minutes to closing* "We cant have appetizers? I HATE this place! I tell my friends not to come here! *closes eyes grins at me and shakes head a la 'nyah nyah*

Me: *very new and young bursts into tears and goes to the kitchen*

Me now: "Why the hell are you here then?!

[batmoody]

Customer: Do you need my club card?
Me: Sure (scans card)
*Thinking* No, I have one of my own. YOU need your club card.

Customer: Can you get this beer here on the bottom of my cart
Me: Sure (walks around the checkout to lift it out)
Customer: Oh, I didn't know you needed it up.
*Thinking* I've almost got the mind reading thing down, but not the levitation thanyouverymuch!

Customer: (approaching my checkstand) Oh! You look lonely!
Me: *smiles*
*Thinking* Thanks! So do you!

As I am looking up a PLU for some random produce item in our code sheets, lets say kumquats.
Customer: They're kumquats
Me: Ya, I can't remember the code. I gotta look it up.
*Thinking* Yes. I know, thats why I am looking under the "K"s.

Customer: (approaching my EXPRESS checkstand) Do I have too many?
Me: How would I know how many you have?
Ooops...I actually said that one out loud lol!

[smileyeagle1021]

Oh, the one I get at the hotel.

SC: do you think anyone would mind if we skinny dipped in the pool *yuckyuck*
Me: I'm sorry, that would be in violation of several local and state ordinances and we would have to ask you to refrain.
Thinking either: Oh fuck me sideways, only if I can go out and watch or Yes, we would mind you ugly broad, I don't have that much brain bleach.

[Primer]

Student (after grades have been posted): But I really need a passing grade in this class. Isn't there any extra credit I can do? I had a bunch of personal issues going on the last 2 weeks of school and could not concentrate.

Me: I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do after the fact. You should have contacted me sooner to let me know what was going on, but even then I don't give extra credit assignments.

Me thinking: You scored a 46 on the final exam, and have a 53 average. There is NO way you could do enough extra credit to bring your average up to a 70, even if I allowed extra credit. You disappeared for the last 3 weeks of class, so of course you did not get the lectures. NOT MY PROBLEM. GO AWAY.

[Exaspera]

Student (after grades have been posted): But I really need a passing grade in this class. Isn't there any extra credit I can do? I had a bunch of personal issues going on the last 2 weeks of school and could not concentrate.

Me: I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do after the fact. You should have contacted me sooner to let me know what was going on, but even then I don't give extra credit assignments.

Me thinking: You scored a 46 on the final exam, and have a 53 average. There is NO way you could do enough extra credit to bring your average up to a 70, even if I allowed extra credit. You disappeared for the last 3 weeks of class, so of course you did not get the lectures. NOT MY PROBLEM. GO AWAY.

LOL! Exactly!! I don't do extra credit either. "Why should I give myself more work because you chose not to come to class or study?"