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This probably will get you fired. Or assaulted.
Even though it's probably not corporate-policy friendly, I'm aware that California is primarily a consumer state. As such, I treat customers on a case to case basis. I happen to work in a really nice niche: National Multi-Billion Company with 100's of small retail stores nationwide. (For a better hint, look at my picture in my intro thread.)
I'm aware that sometimes customers will suck. But the fun part is the fact that if that customer gets angry and never comes back, it never bothers us. We're pretty much the only retailer that carries certain products save online shopping. So when the public gets sucky, I get shortfused. I'm neither politically correct nor afraid to lose my job over teaching you an ettiquette lesson you won't soon forget.
Here's some cause-and effect.
Asking for ID will get you arrested.
We card. Almost 100% of the time. Only exception is Debit, or if the purchase is > $10.00. So if I ask you for ID and you say no, then I ask you for an alternate form of payment, provide it, or leave. Here's some unacceptable statements and their patented Radryk-Replies(TM).
"My bank can sue your company/your store/your manager/you for asking for I.D."
"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave and have your lawyer make all correspendences."
"No, you'll take my card."
"No, I won't. Smartass."
"Buttface took my card without I.D. yesterday."
"Well, I'm not Buttface, so I'm sorry, but I'll need to see your I.D."
"Your other store never asks for I.D."
"Other Store is open until nine. Drive Safely." (Okay, this one is only used if they insist, but I digress. Don't be an assclown and expect me to smile. Also don't expect me to let you get away with it. Said reply is usually followed up with a call to said store and a reminder to ask for I.D.)
I can vandalize your property and get away with it.
For some reason, customers think it's okay to open sealed product in my store. Especially product sealed with "OH MY GOD THERE MIGHT BE ANTHRAX IN HERE IF THIS TAPE IS CUT." Tape. If you open my products, you're going to be told you have to buy it. If you walk out of my store after opening and destroying the packaging of a $119.00 Portable TV, I will be taking down your license plate and calling the police. To date, 4 people have been cited for this. Pet peeve. Especially since you can ASK and have us OPEN IT FOR YOU LEGALLY and NOT DESTROY THE PACKAGING.
Our store has a name. And it's not Renta Shack.
Asking me what our return policy is will result in me letting you know that you need the packaging, reciept, and for it to be in unused condition. If you ask me "Why Unused?" I'll reply with "Because we strive to make sure you buy products that are brand new." If you come back on the twenty-ninth day with no packaging, reciept, and an MP3 Player that looks like you used it to wipe your rear-end with it, you're gonna get laughed out of the store.
No, you cannot speak to my manager.
If, at any point, you're asked to leave, that means you leave. Period. Did I ask you if you could discuss that with my manager? No. Door's over there. A-Bip-Bip-Bip. Stop talking. Walk. BEFORE I call the cops.
Swearing.
Get out of here. You can come back when you're not twelve. Yes, I've said that. Verbatim.
Unruly children.
I will stop assisting you and leave you standing, unassisted at the counter to clean up after your children. If your children tear/dent/break/fart on anything over $50.00, you'll be asked to buy it. If you refuse, you'll be escorted off the premises.
Don't invade my personal space.
If you walk [-------] This close to me, I'll take a step back. If you have the audacity to step closer again, I'll ask you to please take a step back. If you get offended, I don't really care. Especially if you have "I just had hummus and marjuana for lunch" breath. Usually mutually exclusive.
I DON'T CARE if you used to be an electrical engineer. That will not work.
And if you really were an electrical engneer, you should know that putting a half-amp fuse in a 5-amp appliance will result in another blown fuse.
Now, again, even though I tend to do this, I ONLY do it to people that I know deserve it. I've also been known to do stuff like walking out into the parking lot and HAND INSTALLING accessory outlets in cars, FREE OF CHARGE, just for being nice. And I have a staff with more or less the EXACT same attitude. Doing this where you work will probably get you canned. So please, enjoy my antics, but don't do it yourself. Please. [/hypocracy]
Even though it's probably not corporate-policy friendly, I'm aware that California is primarily a consumer state. As such, I treat customers on a case to case basis. I happen to work in a really nice niche: National Multi-Billion Company with 100's of small retail stores nationwide. (For a better hint, look at my picture in my intro thread.)
I'm aware that sometimes customers will suck. But the fun part is the fact that if that customer gets angry and never comes back, it never bothers us. We're pretty much the only retailer that carries certain products save online shopping. So when the public gets sucky, I get shortfused. I'm neither politically correct nor afraid to lose my job over teaching you an ettiquette lesson you won't soon forget.
Here's some cause-and effect.
Asking for ID will get you arrested.
We card. Almost 100% of the time. Only exception is Debit, or if the purchase is > $10.00. So if I ask you for ID and you say no, then I ask you for an alternate form of payment, provide it, or leave. Here's some unacceptable statements and their patented Radryk-Replies(TM).
"My bank can sue your company/your store/your manager/you for asking for I.D."
"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave and have your lawyer make all correspendences."
"No, you'll take my card."
"No, I won't. Smartass."
"Buttface took my card without I.D. yesterday."
"Well, I'm not Buttface, so I'm sorry, but I'll need to see your I.D."
"Your other store never asks for I.D."
"Other Store is open until nine. Drive Safely." (Okay, this one is only used if they insist, but I digress. Don't be an assclown and expect me to smile. Also don't expect me to let you get away with it. Said reply is usually followed up with a call to said store and a reminder to ask for I.D.)
I can vandalize your property and get away with it.
For some reason, customers think it's okay to open sealed product in my store. Especially product sealed with "OH MY GOD THERE MIGHT BE ANTHRAX IN HERE IF THIS TAPE IS CUT." Tape. If you open my products, you're going to be told you have to buy it. If you walk out of my store after opening and destroying the packaging of a $119.00 Portable TV, I will be taking down your license plate and calling the police. To date, 4 people have been cited for this. Pet peeve. Especially since you can ASK and have us OPEN IT FOR YOU LEGALLY and NOT DESTROY THE PACKAGING.
Our store has a name. And it's not Renta Shack.
Asking me what our return policy is will result in me letting you know that you need the packaging, reciept, and for it to be in unused condition. If you ask me "Why Unused?" I'll reply with "Because we strive to make sure you buy products that are brand new." If you come back on the twenty-ninth day with no packaging, reciept, and an MP3 Player that looks like you used it to wipe your rear-end with it, you're gonna get laughed out of the store.
No, you cannot speak to my manager.
If, at any point, you're asked to leave, that means you leave. Period. Did I ask you if you could discuss that with my manager? No. Door's over there. A-Bip-Bip-Bip. Stop talking. Walk. BEFORE I call the cops.
Swearing.
Get out of here. You can come back when you're not twelve. Yes, I've said that. Verbatim.
Unruly children.
I will stop assisting you and leave you standing, unassisted at the counter to clean up after your children. If your children tear/dent/break/fart on anything over $50.00, you'll be asked to buy it. If you refuse, you'll be escorted off the premises.
Don't invade my personal space.
If you walk [-------] This close to me, I'll take a step back. If you have the audacity to step closer again, I'll ask you to please take a step back. If you get offended, I don't really care. Especially if you have "I just had hummus and marjuana for lunch" breath. Usually mutually exclusive.
I DON'T CARE if you used to be an electrical engineer. That will not work.
And if you really were an electrical engneer, you should know that putting a half-amp fuse in a 5-amp appliance will result in another blown fuse.
Now, again, even though I tend to do this, I ONLY do it to people that I know deserve it. I've also been known to do stuff like walking out into the parking lot and HAND INSTALLING accessory outlets in cars, FREE OF CHARGE, just for being nice. And I have a staff with more or less the EXACT same attitude. Doing this where you work will probably get you canned. So please, enjoy my antics, but don't do it yourself. Please. [/hypocracy]
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