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So I've had some serious "Clerks." moments.
We sell pizzas - either by the slice or by the entire pizza. There's a HUGE sign right over my head that says "Pizza slices - $2.99 or 2 for $5!", with another sign next to it that says "Large 16 inch pizza with up to 3 toppings - $12.99!" (it actually rings up at $10.99 and we don't give a shit how many toppings are on it).
At least once a day, usually as I'm handing someone a slice of pizza - "Do you sell pizzas by the slice?"
Today I had three people who walked right up to me - at the pizza counter under the big sign that says PIZZA! - and asked me where they should go to order a pizza.
And I seem to be getting the guys who've quit smoking - I've had a few people just bark "PEPPERONI!" at me while gesturing at the (uncooked) dough. I ask them if they want a slice or a pizza - they just yell PEPPERONI! again. I did have a little fun with one of them - he finally pointed at a pepperoni pizza and barked PEPPERONI again. I nodded and smiled and said quite happily "Yes, it's a pepperoni pizza!"
He barked pepperoni again, after I asked him if he wanted a slice or a pizza. He FINALLY responded with "Two slices!", still completely oblivious to why I was messing with him (in fact he probably didn't realize I was having a little fun at his expense).
I take full advantage of the face high glass wall between myself and the customers - they can't hear what I'm saying unless I practically yell. Of course, even if I had decent hearing, I couldn't hear them very well anyway through it. I'm getting good at reading lips.
Now I can understand people walking up to me and asking me where some items are at - after all, it's a grocery store. But walking up to me and asking me specific ingredients in, say, a beer...
(beer is sold at the opposite end of the store).
The worst ones - we keep 3 to 5 pizzas on display, and sell slices out of them. Yes, we do run out occasionally - it's usually just 1 or 2 people working in pizza, and after I get a rush, I have to cook several pizzas to replenish what we call "the line" (the display). It's irritating as hell when someone yells "HEY! Why isn't there any <x> pizza? When are you going to have more?" - while I'm holding said pizza in my hands about to put it in the oven and/or pulling it out of the oven to put it on the line. They get really pissed when I tell them it'll be 15 to 20 minutes until their obscure Jerk Chicken and Spinach (etc) pizza will be ready since I actually have to, you know, cook it. We'll put almost anything in the grocery store (within reason - I'm not putting, say, trash bags on one) on a pizza for you if you're buying a whole pizza, but if you're only getting 1 slice, we can only go so far to accommodate you.
The best lines - "Papa John's can cook a pizza in 6 minutes!". I respond with "I know, I worked for them for 7 years - they use a forced air convection oven that burns the outside and leaves the inside doughy, we use an old fashioned brick oven that will give you a far better pizza. I can't speed it up, it's already over 600 degrees".
All in all though, it's been one of the better retail jobs I've had. Since we're a mainly upper end store, and I'm only a cook, I don't have to deal with the stupidity that the cashiers get.
We sell pizzas - either by the slice or by the entire pizza. There's a HUGE sign right over my head that says "Pizza slices - $2.99 or 2 for $5!", with another sign next to it that says "Large 16 inch pizza with up to 3 toppings - $12.99!" (it actually rings up at $10.99 and we don't give a shit how many toppings are on it).
At least once a day, usually as I'm handing someone a slice of pizza - "Do you sell pizzas by the slice?"
Today I had three people who walked right up to me - at the pizza counter under the big sign that says PIZZA! - and asked me where they should go to order a pizza.
And I seem to be getting the guys who've quit smoking - I've had a few people just bark "PEPPERONI!" at me while gesturing at the (uncooked) dough. I ask them if they want a slice or a pizza - they just yell PEPPERONI! again. I did have a little fun with one of them - he finally pointed at a pepperoni pizza and barked PEPPERONI again. I nodded and smiled and said quite happily "Yes, it's a pepperoni pizza!"
He barked pepperoni again, after I asked him if he wanted a slice or a pizza. He FINALLY responded with "Two slices!", still completely oblivious to why I was messing with him (in fact he probably didn't realize I was having a little fun at his expense).I take full advantage of the face high glass wall between myself and the customers - they can't hear what I'm saying unless I practically yell. Of course, even if I had decent hearing, I couldn't hear them very well anyway through it. I'm getting good at reading lips.
Now I can understand people walking up to me and asking me where some items are at - after all, it's a grocery store. But walking up to me and asking me specific ingredients in, say, a beer...
(beer is sold at the opposite end of the store).The worst ones - we keep 3 to 5 pizzas on display, and sell slices out of them. Yes, we do run out occasionally - it's usually just 1 or 2 people working in pizza, and after I get a rush, I have to cook several pizzas to replenish what we call "the line" (the display). It's irritating as hell when someone yells "HEY! Why isn't there any <x> pizza? When are you going to have more?" - while I'm holding said pizza in my hands about to put it in the oven and/or pulling it out of the oven to put it on the line. They get really pissed when I tell them it'll be 15 to 20 minutes until their obscure Jerk Chicken and Spinach (etc) pizza will be ready since I actually have to, you know, cook it. We'll put almost anything in the grocery store (within reason - I'm not putting, say, trash bags on one) on a pizza for you if you're buying a whole pizza, but if you're only getting 1 slice, we can only go so far to accommodate you.
The best lines - "Papa John's can cook a pizza in 6 minutes!". I respond with "I know, I worked for them for 7 years - they use a forced air convection oven that burns the outside and leaves the inside doughy, we use an old fashioned brick oven that will give you a far better pizza. I can't speed it up, it's already over 600 degrees".
All in all though, it's been one of the better retail jobs I've had. Since we're a mainly upper end store, and I'm only a cook, I don't have to deal with the stupidity that the cashiers get.
Although fellow 80s survivors may have also acquired the mental picture I got from this...Murdock from "The A-Team" shouting "I want my traaaaaash BAGS!!" through the glass at our Bean.
+
+(insert "pat on the head" smiley here) look of "ok, you have your bananas where you want them!"
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