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So, I was driving along on my rounds when out of the corner of my eye, something odd pops up into my peripheral vision. There's is a large envelope taped to a lone parking meter over by an apartment complex I tow from. My curiosity piqued, I go over, pull it down, open it up and inside Inside are 4 tickets, issued to a Green Acura Integra with license xxx-xxxx, all issued for parking at an expired meter. Also inside, is a hand-written note.
Dear "parking" people,
You can write all the phony home-made tickets you want, but you'll never see a cent from me. I'll park where I want to, and your "tickets" are illegal and no collections agency in the world will ever take them seriously, no matter how good your little machine that prints them up makes them look. You also do not have any legal grounds to ticket me if you aren't the cops!
In conclusion, you can take these unenforcible made-up tickets and cram them up your *explicative deleted* ass! and *suggested biological function deleted* me!
Aw, that's cute. I guess he wrote that assuming that when I saw it, I'd take off my ball cap, throw it on the ground and stomp on it like an angry chimp. After all, Real Men (tm) settle their differences by leaving angry notes behind, don't they? Well, I know one thing, this guy has committed the ultimate Dumb-James-Bond-Movie-Villain mistake of informing me of what his diabolical plan was in advance, and then leaving me alive to make sure he can't carry it out. Namely, parking at that meter and not paying it. As now I have
1. A description of his car
2. A plate number
3. 4 unpaid and now delinquent tickets, which according to Borough towing regulations is a tow-on-sight with no wait.
So I tuck them in the glove box of the truck and go on my merry way.
Later that evening, while passing by that very same apartment, I see a Green Integra in that very same spot, with license plate xxx-xxxx, in the glove box of my truck is all the evidence that said car has 4 unpaid tickets, and I can see there's no time on the meter.....
Dear Sir,
In regards to your letter from earlier today, here is my rebuttal,
You can pick your car up at our garage, after you've paid $105 for the tow, and $60 for those delinquent, unpaid and VERY real and VERY enforcible parking violations.
Have a nice day, citizen!
Dear "parking" people,
You can write all the phony home-made tickets you want, but you'll never see a cent from me. I'll park where I want to, and your "tickets" are illegal and no collections agency in the world will ever take them seriously, no matter how good your little machine that prints them up makes them look. You also do not have any legal grounds to ticket me if you aren't the cops!
In conclusion, you can take these unenforcible made-up tickets and cram them up your *explicative deleted* ass! and *suggested biological function deleted* me!
Aw, that's cute. I guess he wrote that assuming that when I saw it, I'd take off my ball cap, throw it on the ground and stomp on it like an angry chimp. After all, Real Men (tm) settle their differences by leaving angry notes behind, don't they? Well, I know one thing, this guy has committed the ultimate Dumb-James-Bond-Movie-Villain mistake of informing me of what his diabolical plan was in advance, and then leaving me alive to make sure he can't carry it out. Namely, parking at that meter and not paying it. As now I have
1. A description of his car
2. A plate number
3. 4 unpaid and now delinquent tickets, which according to Borough towing regulations is a tow-on-sight with no wait.
So I tuck them in the glove box of the truck and go on my merry way.
Later that evening, while passing by that very same apartment, I see a Green Integra in that very same spot, with license plate xxx-xxxx, in the glove box of my truck is all the evidence that said car has 4 unpaid tickets, and I can see there's no time on the meter.....
Dear Sir,
In regards to your letter from earlier today, here is my rebuttal,
You can pick your car up at our garage, after you've paid $105 for the tow, and $60 for those delinquent, unpaid and VERY real and VERY enforcible parking violations.
Have a nice day, citizen!
Excellent tpwnage! 
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