Sneaky Sneaky

[blas]

What are your fondest memories of customers doing sneaky things?

I remember at the grocery store, it was New Years Day 2004. The store was to open at regular time (6:00 am). There would only be one cashier (me) and one bagger until 7 am, so both of us got out of our cars and trudged in despair into work.

Now, the automatic doors were off, but we were told to pry them open to get in, and then to shut them back after we got in. As my bagger and I got close to the door, we saw a little old lady (amazing how fast they all of a sudden become when they want something bad enough!) get out of her car (she'd been sitting in it ever since I'd pulled up 5 minutes earlier) and start chasing us into the store.

We were able to shut the automatic doors behind us and get in, but, wouldn't you know it, this little old lady wasn't as weak and feeble as most old people tend to be. She pried the doors open and let herself in, grabbed a basket, and proceeded to walk in the door. My manager said, "I'm sorry ma'ame, we're not open for another 15 minutes," and the little old lady gave her a look as if my manager had just slaughtered all of her cats.

"I NEED to get some groceries!" the lady whined. She was told she could either wait or go to the local grocery store which is open 24/7. No, stores don't always like telling customers to go elsewhere, but they weren't going to force me or my bagger to punch in, me to count my till in 10 seconds, and then go wait on her, when it was obvious she was going to take her sweet time and give us hell for trying to lock her out.

She was very insistant on being allowed to shop. At this point, several cars had pulled up, and people stood outside the automatic door and pondered why it wasn't opening. Then they all realized that they'd PRY it open and get inside! Pretty soon my manager had no choice, and just let everyone in and come shop. My bagger and I had to punch in and I had to immediately count my drawer and pick my register.

I know it was only 15 minutes early but I was still irate that all these people were allowed in. What in God's name were all these people doing out on New Year's Day at 5:45 am anyway?! Good God, shouldn't they all have been hung over and miserable?

[Becks]

Maybe instead of drinking, everyone smoked pot and therefore had the munchies?

[Dave1982]

Pried the doors open, eh? I believe that is - technically - BREAKING AND ENTERING.

[Drakstern]

Pried the doors open, eh? I believe that is - technically - BREAKING AND ENTERING.

But they let everyone do it Everywhere Else!

[pbmods]

Why not just lock the front doors then?

[powerboy]

But they let everyone do it Everywhere Else!

I thought Everwhere Else Shop, was open 24/7. Beside's I hate that. When I enter my shop before the time to open the doors. Don't get pissed, if I open. Hell I am busy getting everything ready.

[Antisocial_Worker]

My customers are sneaky on a near-daily basis. Typically, they're bringing in a coupon book, and are trying to hide it in a pocket, under their shirt, or wherever else. The plan is to approach the front desk and ask what the room rates are. If I name a rate that is so much as a penny higher than the coupon rate, out comes the book and a self-satisfied smirk as though they've caught me doing naughty things with a lawn flamingo and a shaved sheep and don't I certainly feel chagrined now?

I've gotten good at spotting these sly guests, and it's very rare that I don't see a coupon book at fifty paces. Typically before they open their mouths I hand them a pair of scissors so they can cut the coupon out, and I explain pleasantly that the coupon is only good for a standard room upstairs.

I often wonder what they'd do if I decided to be perverse and name a rate lower than the coupon. I imagine a lot of furtive shuffling in an attempt to shove the coupon book down their pants or something.

[ArenaBoy]

Oh boy at least one night goes by where at least 5 customers try and attempt to sneak through anything. If it's inbound, I catch customers moving barrels or cones so they can sneak in only to be caught by me or the easily pissed off supervisor who will tear an SC a new one. Then there's the chains during outbound. I've caught people moving barrels, cones, or the best yet driving right through the chains nearly hitting me in the process. Now catching these guys is fun because they don't know that I am a runner. Imagine plenty of people's shock to see this blur that is me move the barrel away from them. People will always think that nothing applies to them sadly and keep doing these things.

[Imogene]

If I name a rate that is so much as a penny higher than the coupon rate, out comes the book and a self-satisfied smirk as though they've caught me doing naughty things with a lawn flamingo and a shaved sheep and don't I certainly feel chagrined now?

Mmm, lawn flamingo... ick, shaved sheep...

On topic...
The sneakiest customer I ever had would probably be the guy who came up to our gate ten minutes after we, being Goth AM and myself, had closed. I was busily counting down one of the drawers.
SC: Hey, do you guys have season n of Stargate?
GAM: *busy picking his nose* I dunno... *goes to check*
M: *still busily counting down the drawer*
GAM: Why, yes, we do. Juwl, go open the gate so he can buy it.
M: *look up from my counting* Excuse you, what? Door's closed, we're closed until Ten tomorrow, you f*cking moron. (not what I said, really. But those were my thoughts)
GAM: *goes to open the gate for the SC*
SC: *waltzes in, right up to the second register, with me trying to protect the drawer I have out and visible on the first register*
After the guy gets rung out, GAM closes the gate again, turns to me, and says, "Now, THAT'S customer service!"
A few days later, TK is back in town, I tell him the story, just as the store manager walks in. I retell it to SM, with an added line at the end.
M: No, you jack ass, that's a liability issue. You don't know if he had a gun!"
SM looks at me for a moment before saying, "No, that wouldn't have happened," in a really flat voice, like he knows exactly what everyone in Chesterfield is thinking at any point in the day!

[AFpheonix]

My last favorite scammer hasn't been in since he tried to clumsily score some extra oxycontin last.
Whoever rung the guy up didn't scan out the oxycontin script along with his other meds. I don't know if she thought she had to, since it was a zero copay or what, but oh well.
Brainiac notices that it didn't show up on the register reciept. He tries to come in and say that he didn't get it.
I get all detective on his ass, check around, yes, he indeed got it, and our onhand counts of that med are spot on. jackass.
The pharmacy manager calls him, and helpfully offers to let him come down and call the police if he'd like to file a report. He declines

[blas]

What would they do without you Phoenix??

When I said pry, I didn't mean with a crowbar or anything, just with fingers. I really don't know why the manager didn't lock the doors behind us, but neither of us had keys and if corporate knew that a peon cashier and a peon bagger had used a key and locked customers out, they'd have both our assed fired.

[AFpheonix]

Oh, go down in flames, probably. j/k
Actually, we've been a pretty stable team there for the last 3 years or so, with relatively little staff turnover. I think that's why our business is skyrocketing like it is.
Most of us are very good, too, and the few that aren't quite up to par are improving a lot.

I think the new girl that we were training for 2 weeks was the one to ring him out, and sometimes the computer generated barcodes on the front of the labels don't scan, and you have to rescan them a few times before they go. I halfway suspect that's what happened, and no one caught it until the next day.