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I Want My *Bleeping* Guarantee!!11!!!11! *LANGUAGE*

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  • #1

    I Want My *Bleeping* Guarantee!!11!!!11! *LANGUAGE*

    My co-worker P told me this gem of a story to me. A little BG: P was a sales agent (before becoming a tech) for the fee-based tech support department called Tech Plus* .

    P-Co worker
    E- Supervisor
    SC- Sucky "Cuss"tomer.

    P: <does sales spiel>

    SC: What do you mean you don't have a guarantee?!! I want my fucking guarantee!!!


    P: Ma'am the terms and conditions of the sale states that there is no guarantee that your issue will be resolved. I will lose my job if I say that there is a guarantee


    SC: I want my fucking guarantee and I don't give a fuck about you and your job! You should be fired and get me somebody smarter than you! The President, the CEO anybody that's smarter than you!

    P: One moment . <goes over and explained to E about the SC and then E comes on the line while P listens in. That's done in case the customer wants to speak with the agent on the line again>

    E: This is E, supervisor on duty.

    SC: That girl is dumb, I told her I want my fucking guarantee!

    E: Ma'am I apologize but on our service and sales terms and conditions state that there is no guarantee that your issue will be resolved and that is for liability reasons.

    SC: And I thought the Ns were the stupid ones, you're white and you're just as dumb!

    E gives P the signal to hang up on the SC and that was that.
    I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
    Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
    Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09
    Tags: None
  • #2
    If he wants one, just tell him that you GUARANTEE that if he calls again, you will kick his ass.
    "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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    • #3


      What a jerkface...at least she didn't end up having to serve the idiot in the end.
      Last edited by Iris Kojiro; 05-26-2010, 10:50 PM. Reason: Changed language to non-gender specific terms.
      Osoroshii kangae nimo osoware masu...

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      • #4
        That racist son of a bitch! I would have guaranteed that I was gonna punch him in the face and kick him the hell out.
        ......../\
        ....../__\
        ..../\...../\
        ../__\../__\

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        • #5
          Quoth Sarah Valentine View Post
          That racist son of a bitch! I would have guaranteed that I was gonna punch him in the face and kick him the hell out.
          Agreed....100%

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          • #6
            P shouldn't have had to wait until the N-bomb before being able to disconnect.
            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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            • #7
              I'm surprised you kept her on the line that long. I would have hung up after the first F***.
              "No, that's not how you talk to me."
              I'm glad SC was hung up on after that racist comment though.... OMG, what is wrong with people??
              Before you ask, think about it. Think really hard. I have back, but I don't have any more in the back.

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              • #8
                That's what I loved about most places I've worked -- Standing policy was, if we got a F-bomb or similar curse, we were to hang up *immediately* with no further comment whatsoever.
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                • #9
                  Quoth EricKei View Post
                  That's what I loved about most places I've worked -- Standing policy was, if we got a F-bomb or similar curse, we were to hang up *immediately* with no further comment whatsoever.
                  Same. They start swearing, we hang up.

                  I usually give them a warning and request them to be civil. Almost invariably this causes them to become even more enraged, and I just hang up on them after noting down their phone number.

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                  • #10
                    She probably works for a company who doesn't 'allow' their workers to hang up, even when being cussed at.

                    I'm a firm believer that spineless managers and corporate suits are partially responsible for so-called 'customers' behaving this way. They get away with it!

                    Your poor co-worker and supv. It never should have been allowed to get as far as the racial epithet he threw.

                    I'm glad I work for a call-center that (while we don't have rules about hanging up when being cussed at), if we did hang up on someone verbally abusing us - we wouldn't get into trouble.
                    "So, if you wanna put places like that outta business, just stop being so rock-chewingly stupid." ~ Raudf, 9/19/13

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Peppergirl View Post
                      I'm glad I work for a call-center that (while we don't have rules about hanging up when being cussed at), if we did hang up on someone verbally abusing us - we wouldn't get into trouble.
                      Where I work, customers are allowed to say anything they want to us and we are not allowed to hang up, period. We could get in serious trouble for -- get this -- "customer abuse".

                      (The Ministry of Truth writes the rules around here.)

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Quoth Peppergirl View Post
                        I'm glad I work for a call-center that (while we don't have rules about hanging up when being cussed at), if we did hang up on someone verbally abusing us - we wouldn't get into trouble.
                        Same with where I am (kinda)... as soon as a user starts abusing a interpreter we can have a supervisor come over and give the riot act, keep it up and a supe will kill the call.
                        If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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                        • #13
                          Quoth tropicsgoddess View Post
                          You should be fired and get me somebody smarter than you! The President, the CEO anybody that's smarter than you!
                          He wants someone smarter, then goes on to give examples that go in the exact opposite direction.
                          I AM the evil bastard!
                          A+ Certified IT Technician

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                          • #14
                            I let them cuss once. After that, "Ma'am, If you don't calm down and stop cussing at me, I'm going to terminate the call."

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