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Whiskey drinking beer?! I KNOW! But its blue moon and its delicious so lets move on and I can be hanged for my crimes later.
Picture it.. the night before Memorial Day. It was a Sunday. Now usually on Sunday's I'm lucky to drop 400$ into the safe at the end of an 8 hour shift. Friday/Saturday I pull 900-1000$ easily. That Sunday I dropped 850$. I was so unprepared. Also, something I don't think I've said, my Jack is stationed on the most popular street in town. Its where the kids cruise for hookups with each other and whatever. We're also the ONLY FAST FOOD PLACE OPEN AFTER MIDNIGHT. What was I thinking when I accepted a weekend-grave position?
Its also graduation. Ugh!
So, a car full of chicks rolls through. They want to do two separate orders. I already know the answer is no, and I tell them as such, we are simply too busy to accommodate multiple orders from the same car. You'd think the cars wrapped around the building would have been an indication but hey, not everyone is Sherlock Holmes. Nothing bitchy at this point, they order their food all is well.
Well, they still want to split the payment. Can I do card and cash? Sure can! I have to do cash first, then card, so how much in cash?
Oh god, you'd think I'd just asked them to do quantum physics. The driver pulls out her iPhone and uses the calculator and... still can't figure out the total. So I just look over, do the math, she gives me a stank look like I called her stupid (LOL retail drones knowing how to do simple subtraction! Obviously I've had too much to drink tonight because that doesnt happen!) and tell her how much I'd need from her. I take the cash, key it in, it totals to 4.31 or something for the card. I run the card.
Declined.
I hand it back, tell them its been declined and the girl in the backseat gives me a look like I just said her mother does cacti fetish porn. Lets just go form conversation at this point.
C: Did you put in the cash first?!?!
Me: Yes, I did.
C: How much did you run my card for!!!!!!!!!!
Me: 4.31 like I said it would be.
C: WELL WHY WAS IT DECLINED???
Because you don't have any fucking money.
Then they paid with a 20. You really couldn't have done that and saved the ten minutes while your food sat in the window and got cold?
Ohh and one for humors sake. This guy paid for his food, then wanted tacos. Jack loves his customers SO MUCH he offers TWO TACOS FOR 99 CENTS! YOU CANT PASS IT UP!
Me: Awesome, platinum-blonde window monkey
Customer: Dude, but.. TACOS!?
C: Can I order 2 tacos actually?
M: Okay.. 1.07 please
C: Oh, is [assistant manager] around?
[authors note: what AM works grave??? Certainly not ours, ever.]
M: Uh, no, he doesn't work grave. Why, whats up?
C: Oh well I know him. By the way I don't have 1.07 but I can come back and pay you for them after.
M: I can't do that.
C: Its only a dollar! I live right down the street so I'll be back in like five minutes!
M: Well then come back, pay and you'll have delicious tacos
C: Well, I can pay for them now, but I only have a [dun dun dun..] HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL.
Now I'm going to interject. I make a crap ton of cash. By midnight, I can cash a couple hundred dollar bills without batting an eyelash. However..
M: You have a twenty in your hand.
C: Oh.. I.. Uh.. Nevermind.
Well played, sir.
Picture it.. the night before Memorial Day. It was a Sunday. Now usually on Sunday's I'm lucky to drop 400$ into the safe at the end of an 8 hour shift. Friday/Saturday I pull 900-1000$ easily. That Sunday I dropped 850$. I was so unprepared. Also, something I don't think I've said, my Jack is stationed on the most popular street in town. Its where the kids cruise for hookups with each other and whatever. We're also the ONLY FAST FOOD PLACE OPEN AFTER MIDNIGHT. What was I thinking when I accepted a weekend-grave position?
Its also graduation. Ugh!
So, a car full of chicks rolls through. They want to do two separate orders. I already know the answer is no, and I tell them as such, we are simply too busy to accommodate multiple orders from the same car. You'd think the cars wrapped around the building would have been an indication but hey, not everyone is Sherlock Holmes. Nothing bitchy at this point, they order their food all is well.
Well, they still want to split the payment. Can I do card and cash? Sure can! I have to do cash first, then card, so how much in cash?
Oh god, you'd think I'd just asked them to do quantum physics. The driver pulls out her iPhone and uses the calculator and... still can't figure out the total. So I just look over, do the math, she gives me a stank look like I called her stupid (LOL retail drones knowing how to do simple subtraction! Obviously I've had too much to drink tonight because that doesnt happen!) and tell her how much I'd need from her. I take the cash, key it in, it totals to 4.31 or something for the card. I run the card.
Declined.
I hand it back, tell them its been declined and the girl in the backseat gives me a look like I just said her mother does cacti fetish porn. Lets just go form conversation at this point.
C: Did you put in the cash first?!?!
Me: Yes, I did.
C: How much did you run my card for!!!!!!!!!!
Me: 4.31 like I said it would be.
C: WELL WHY WAS IT DECLINED???
Because you don't have any fucking money.
Then they paid with a 20. You really couldn't have done that and saved the ten minutes while your food sat in the window and got cold?
Ohh and one for humors sake. This guy paid for his food, then wanted tacos. Jack loves his customers SO MUCH he offers TWO TACOS FOR 99 CENTS! YOU CANT PASS IT UP!
Me: Awesome, platinum-blonde window monkey
Customer: Dude, but.. TACOS!?
C: Can I order 2 tacos actually?
M: Okay.. 1.07 please
C: Oh, is [assistant manager] around?
[authors note: what AM works grave??? Certainly not ours, ever.]
M: Uh, no, he doesn't work grave. Why, whats up?
C: Oh well I know him. By the way I don't have 1.07 but I can come back and pay you for them after.
M: I can't do that.
C: Its only a dollar! I live right down the street so I'll be back in like five minutes!
M: Well then come back, pay and you'll have delicious tacos
C: Well, I can pay for them now, but I only have a [dun dun dun..] HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL.
Now I'm going to interject. I make a crap ton of cash. By midnight, I can cash a couple hundred dollar bills without batting an eyelash. However..
M: You have a twenty in your hand.
C: Oh.. I.. Uh.. Nevermind.
Well played, sir.
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