Tweet
Usually I save up stuff through out the work week and make one big post at the end of the week. But I've had so many SCs tonight that it rivals what I usually get in an entire week. >< Help!
All of these are from tonight alone and my shift is only half over. (sob)
Hotel Reservations
Me: "Your confirmation number is xxx-"
SC: "xxx-"
Me: "-xxxx"
SC: "OH GOD YOU CAN'T KEEP GOING!"
...!?!? If you could put down the screenplay for your next porn movie, there's some more info I have to give you.
Lottery Tickets
(Caller gives me her name, credit card information and how many tickets she wants)
SC: "Thanks, bye!"
Me: "Er?"
SC: "Do you need something else?"
Me: "....your address?"
SC: "You need my address?"
Me: "Yes..."
Strangely enough we DO need your address to find you. Unfortunately, the tickets are sent by Canada Post not by obscure, all knowing magical forces. However, if we ever manage to purchase some owl's from Hoggwart's Academy for our postal deliveries I promise you'll be the first to know.
Hotel Reservations 2
SC: "You mean I have to pay for my hotel room!?!"
Me: "Yes"
SC: "But it's the airline's fault!"
Me: "I'm not part of the airline. You'd have to speak to them regarding any compensation for your room."
SC: "I've been on an airplane for the last 10 hours, I'm tired and just want to sleep!"
Me: "There's nothing I can do about the price of your room."
SC: "Oh come on, you negotiate with the airline all the time! You can do something."
Me: "No I can't. I only deal with the hotels. You'll have to speak with the airline yourself."
SC: "FINE!"
I assure you attempting whine sympathy out of me is akin to trying to get bacon from a watermelon: Ill-advised, technically impossible and trying makes you look like an idiot.
Hotel Reservations 3
Me: "Do you have a pen there?"
SC: "No, just a sec I'll ask someone"
(Overhead in background)
SC: "Can I borrow a pen?"
Girl's Voice: "ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
Heh heh heh. I don't who you are, airline girl in background, but I think I love you.
Tech Support
SC: "Do you have a reference number?"
Me: "We don't assign them afterhours."
SC: "Actually, its BEFOREhours."
My, aren't we clever. I don’t know who you are but I have a roll of duct tape, some baggy sweat pants, half a quart of honey and a sack of live mice with your name on it. I also have Google Earth. So I WILL find you.
Property Management
SC: "I'm with my cousin!"
Me: "ok?"
SC: "She's locked out."
Me: "You're locked out?"
SC: "Yes"
Me: "Do you have a phone number there?"
SC: "xxx-xxxx"
Me: "Is that a cell number?"
SC: "No, that’s my home number."
Me: "..do you have a number you can be reached at rght NOW?"
SC: "Uh?"
Me: "Do you have a cell number?"
SC: "Oh, yeah, here"
(she hands the phone to her cousin)
SC #2: "Yeah?"
Me: "Whats your cell phone number?"
SC #2: "Cell number?"
Me: "Yes, whats the number."
SC #2: "6"
Me: "Whats the CELL PHONE number."
SC #2: "Uh? 6"
Me: "Whats the cell phone number. The number you're at right now."
SC #2: "xxx-xxxx"
THANK you. Jeebus. Please don't chew on the door while waiting for the resident manager. In fact, try this: Pull up your shirt, look down at the front of your pants and make sure your fly is zipped up. That should keep you occupied and out of trouble for the next 15-20 minutes until he arrives. If its too hard get your cousin to help.
In fact, judging from you two it wouldn't be the first time someone in your family has had their face in a relative's crotch. ( ooh, that was meaner then usual. But I couldn't help it. >< )
Legal Aid
Me: "What are you in custody for?"
SC: "I tried to talk to my mom with a knife."
....I usually just use the phone.
Me: "I'll let your lawyer know where you are."
SC: "Ok, are we done?"
Me: "Yes."
SC: "...do I hang up now?"
Me: "...yes."
Yes, don't let me keep you. You seem rather busy disproving the theory of evolution. I don't want to interrupt.
and its only half over! (weeps quietly)
All of these are from tonight alone and my shift is only half over. (sob)
Hotel Reservations
Me: "Your confirmation number is xxx-"
SC: "xxx-"
Me: "-xxxx"
SC: "OH GOD YOU CAN'T KEEP GOING!"
...!?!? If you could put down the screenplay for your next porn movie, there's some more info I have to give you.
Lottery Tickets
(Caller gives me her name, credit card information and how many tickets she wants)
SC: "Thanks, bye!"
Me: "Er?"
SC: "Do you need something else?"
Me: "....your address?"
SC: "You need my address?"
Me: "Yes..."
Strangely enough we DO need your address to find you. Unfortunately, the tickets are sent by Canada Post not by obscure, all knowing magical forces. However, if we ever manage to purchase some owl's from Hoggwart's Academy for our postal deliveries I promise you'll be the first to know.
Hotel Reservations 2
SC: "You mean I have to pay for my hotel room!?!"
Me: "Yes"
SC: "But it's the airline's fault!"
Me: "I'm not part of the airline. You'd have to speak to them regarding any compensation for your room."
SC: "I've been on an airplane for the last 10 hours, I'm tired and just want to sleep!"
Me: "There's nothing I can do about the price of your room."
SC: "Oh come on, you negotiate with the airline all the time! You can do something."
Me: "No I can't. I only deal with the hotels. You'll have to speak with the airline yourself."
SC: "FINE!"
I assure you attempting whine sympathy out of me is akin to trying to get bacon from a watermelon: Ill-advised, technically impossible and trying makes you look like an idiot.
Hotel Reservations 3
Me: "Do you have a pen there?"
SC: "No, just a sec I'll ask someone"
(Overhead in background)
SC: "Can I borrow a pen?"
Girl's Voice: "ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
Heh heh heh. I don't who you are, airline girl in background, but I think I love you.
Tech Support
SC: "Do you have a reference number?"
Me: "We don't assign them afterhours."
SC: "Actually, its BEFOREhours."
My, aren't we clever. I don’t know who you are but I have a roll of duct tape, some baggy sweat pants, half a quart of honey and a sack of live mice with your name on it. I also have Google Earth. So I WILL find you.
Property Management
SC: "I'm with my cousin!"
Me: "ok?"
SC: "She's locked out."
Me: "You're locked out?"
SC: "Yes"
Me: "Do you have a phone number there?"
SC: "xxx-xxxx"
Me: "Is that a cell number?"
SC: "No, that’s my home number."
Me: "..do you have a number you can be reached at rght NOW?"
SC: "Uh?"
Me: "Do you have a cell number?"
SC: "Oh, yeah, here"
(she hands the phone to her cousin)
SC #2: "Yeah?"
Me: "Whats your cell phone number?"
SC #2: "Cell number?"
Me: "Yes, whats the number."
SC #2: "6"
Me: "Whats the CELL PHONE number."
SC #2: "Uh? 6"
Me: "Whats the cell phone number. The number you're at right now."
SC #2: "xxx-xxxx"
THANK you. Jeebus. Please don't chew on the door while waiting for the resident manager. In fact, try this: Pull up your shirt, look down at the front of your pants and make sure your fly is zipped up. That should keep you occupied and out of trouble for the next 15-20 minutes until he arrives. If its too hard get your cousin to help.
In fact, judging from you two it wouldn't be the first time someone in your family has had their face in a relative's crotch. ( ooh, that was meaner then usual. But I couldn't help it. >< )
Legal Aid
Me: "What are you in custody for?"
SC: "I tried to talk to my mom with a knife."
....I usually just use the phone.
Me: "I'll let your lawyer know where you are."
SC: "Ok, are we done?"
Me: "Yes."
SC: "...do I hang up now?"
Me: "...yes."
Yes, don't let me keep you. You seem rather busy disproving the theory of evolution. I don't want to interrupt.
and its only half over! (weeps quietly)
Oh, dear, I've now broken my computer desk, and I've only got a few functional braincells left. I hope they can reproduce. 
Comment