So. I work with Cell Phones in the world's most ubiquitous chain store (pretty sure it's the most anyway). Those magical devices that are slowly becoming more like the Swiss Army knife of technology. (note to self: put a corkscrew on a phone, see if it sells)
And our return policy is pretty clear: If you want to return the phone you bought from us, you have to, without exception, bring back EVERYTHING we sent home with you. Including the box (with all accessories), contract, and receipt. And you have 14 days to do so (for two carriers anyway, the other one that's in my store is 30. Whatever). We even have you sign 2 copies of that return policy, one for us, one for you.
So this guy comes in, and I'm sorry, but I could barely understand him. I tried. I did. But I'm just not bilingual yet in any language that counts.
SC: I want to return this phone.
Now, the phone he's showing me is completely dilapidated. It's clearly been through the ringer, probably the washing machine too. And it's SO more than 14 days old. H'oh boy. I really hate having to break the bad news, I DO want to help people most of the time.
Me: Alright... So do you have the contract, the receipt, and the box?
Of course you don't. You're standing here, no cart, no shopping bag, just your messed up phone and an accent so thick I need a machete to hack through it.
SC: I called [carrier], they said I just had to give the phone to you.
Me: No sir. I'm sorry, but our return policy--
SC: No. You're going to give me a new phone.
Me: I'm sorry sir, I can't do that.
SC: Why?
Me: Because in order to process a phone return, I have to have the contract, the receipt, and everything the phone came with.
SC: But [carrier] said I just had to bring the phone in.
Me: They were probably telling you the policy for their corporate stores. Our return policy is different.
SC: So you're lying to me.
Me: *um... what?* No sir. But our return policies are different. If you were to come back with the contract and box at least, we can pull the receipt from the computer.
SC: You don't need that stuff!
At this point he starts shouting something that I can't decide if it was English or not.
SC: Do you want me to call [carrier] and have them tell you?
Me: Sir, that won't make a difference, I can't change our return policy, if you like, I can have my manager explain it better.
SC: No. You're lying. I'm going to call my social worker and have you fired!
Me: *uh... what the hell?* Alright sir.
SC: *points at me* You're gonna be fired!
At this point he walked away, and we all had a good laugh about it.
Me:
And no. I wasn't fired. Never even heard word one about it.
So in short: When I tell you what MY return policy is, don't quote me a different company's.
And our return policy is pretty clear: If you want to return the phone you bought from us, you have to, without exception, bring back EVERYTHING we sent home with you. Including the box (with all accessories), contract, and receipt. And you have 14 days to do so (for two carriers anyway, the other one that's in my store is 30. Whatever). We even have you sign 2 copies of that return policy, one for us, one for you.
So this guy comes in, and I'm sorry, but I could barely understand him. I tried. I did. But I'm just not bilingual yet in any language that counts.
SC: I want to return this phone.
Now, the phone he's showing me is completely dilapidated. It's clearly been through the ringer, probably the washing machine too. And it's SO more than 14 days old. H'oh boy. I really hate having to break the bad news, I DO want to help people most of the time.
Me: Alright... So do you have the contract, the receipt, and the box?
Of course you don't. You're standing here, no cart, no shopping bag, just your messed up phone and an accent so thick I need a machete to hack through it.
SC: I called [carrier], they said I just had to give the phone to you.
Me: No sir. I'm sorry, but our return policy--
SC: No. You're going to give me a new phone.
Me: I'm sorry sir, I can't do that.
SC: Why?
Me: Because in order to process a phone return, I have to have the contract, the receipt, and everything the phone came with.
SC: But [carrier] said I just had to bring the phone in.
Me: They were probably telling you the policy for their corporate stores. Our return policy is different.
SC: So you're lying to me.
Me: *um... what?* No sir. But our return policies are different. If you were to come back with the contract and box at least, we can pull the receipt from the computer.
SC: You don't need that stuff!
At this point he starts shouting something that I can't decide if it was English or not.
SC: Do you want me to call [carrier] and have them tell you?
Me: Sir, that won't make a difference, I can't change our return policy, if you like, I can have my manager explain it better.
SC: No. You're lying. I'm going to call my social worker and have you fired!
Me: *uh... what the hell?* Alright sir.
SC: *points at me* You're gonna be fired!
At this point he walked away, and we all had a good laugh about it.
Me:

And no. I wasn't fired. Never even heard word one about it.
So in short: When I tell you what MY return policy is, don't quote me a different company's.
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