So after all of half an hour at work, I'm back home, because of a DC SNAFU that's going to result in our truck coming 6 hours later than they originally said it would. So we all got sent home until noon. I asked to keep my original 9 to 5:30 shift but was told no.
Before we got in at 9, evidently the swamp got a visit from King Nutbar of the Whackaloon Patrol. I'm told he was banging on our doors at 7, an hour before we open, and he was really banging on them doors.
He was told we don't open until 8, so he sat down on the sidewalk outside, and came barging right in when we opened at 8. He sought out all the female employees starting at 8 and said things to them like "How was our date last night?" or "Did we have a good time last night?" and "You're sexy!" to the service desk girl.
Then for some strange reason, this guy decided to sit down on the floor in front of the service desk, take off his shoes, and return them for money. The service desk girl tried to tell him we couldn't take his shoes because they were obviously used, and he had no receipt anyway. So the opening manager was summoned, and she took his shoes and gave him a gift card.
She says this was to make him go away.
It may surprise you to learn that didn't work. The guy snatched up his gift card, said 'Cool! Now I can buy beer!" and disappeared into the bowels of the salesfloor. Umm no, we don't sell beer here. After all, that might increase employee morale too much.
Finally he emerged with a bottle of store-brand aspirin and paid for it at the register with his gift card.
Then he went back outside--to try selling his aspirin to passers-by for 25 cents a pill.
After a while the bus came, and Mr. Six Buds Short of a Six-Pack tried to get on. The bus driver asked him if he had a token. Crazy guy said he left it at home. 
So he went back into the store to sit on the floor some more, until he decided to go back to toys, grab some rubber chicken we have as a novelty toy, and walk around introducing the chicken as his friend Robert to various people, until manager on duty called the cops to have him removed from the store.
And I missed it all!
Before we got in at 9, evidently the swamp got a visit from King Nutbar of the Whackaloon Patrol. I'm told he was banging on our doors at 7, an hour before we open, and he was really banging on them doors.
He was told we don't open until 8, so he sat down on the sidewalk outside, and came barging right in when we opened at 8. He sought out all the female employees starting at 8 and said things to them like "How was our date last night?" or "Did we have a good time last night?" and "You're sexy!" to the service desk girl.
Then for some strange reason, this guy decided to sit down on the floor in front of the service desk, take off his shoes, and return them for money. The service desk girl tried to tell him we couldn't take his shoes because they were obviously used, and he had no receipt anyway. So the opening manager was summoned, and she took his shoes and gave him a gift card.

It may surprise you to learn that didn't work. The guy snatched up his gift card, said 'Cool! Now I can buy beer!" and disappeared into the bowels of the salesfloor. Umm no, we don't sell beer here. After all, that might increase employee morale too much.

Then he went back outside--to try selling his aspirin to passers-by for 25 cents a pill.


So he went back into the store to sit on the floor some more, until he decided to go back to toys, grab some rubber chicken we have as a novelty toy, and walk around introducing the chicken as his friend Robert to various people, until manager on duty called the cops to have him removed from the store.
And I missed it all!

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