Reasons I'm not surprised you can't pay your phone bill

[chickengirl]

*You answer your business line with "Joe" or "What?"

*You've got someone answering your phone who...
...doesn't speak English
...is 5 years old
...is 85 and mostly deaf
...doesn't even know that you're running a "business" out of your basement/spare room/garage

*You don't seem to realize that you have an account, or insist that you don't (bonus points if I'm calling you on your cell phone, that we provide the service for)

*Nobody at the office understands the term "accounts payable" or knows who pays the bills

*You're the owner and YOU don't understand the term "accounts payable" or know who pays the bills.

And speaking of "accounts payable", would somebody please explain this to me:


Me: Hi, can I speak to Accounts Payable, please?
SC: (snottily) This is a business. We don't have an "Accounts Payable".

This has happened multiple times, from multiple customers, to multiple reps...

[Whiskey]

Me: Hi, can I speak to Accounts Payable, please?
SC: (snottily) This is a business. We don't have an "Accounts Payable".

This has happened multiple times, from multiple customers, to multiple reps...

I was going to say maybe they meant Accounts Receivable, but.. that doesn't work either.

[Argabarga]

I've been told there's no accounting for bad business......

[trunks2k]

I've been told there's no accounting for bad business......

You, sir, have had your speaking privileges revoked.

[AyreBiskits]

but, but.... he's Argabarga! he's full of win and awesomesauce!

[Evil Queen]

but, but.... he's Argabarga! he's full of win and awesomesauce!

Which is great on brisket!

[trailerparkmedic]

Awesomesauce is now available from ThinkGeek.

I'm laughing at your examples of "business owners" but I know they're all true...

[Andara Bledin]

Me: Hi, can I speak to Accounts Payable, please?
SC: (snottily) This is a business. We don't have an "Accounts Payable".

This has happened multiple times, from multiple customers, to multiple reps...

I - ... huh... wha?!? o.0

I do dunning calls for my company, and we've got a fair number of customers who work out of their homes and have random family members who will pick up the phone, and I have never had anyone not know what the "accounts payable department" was.

^-.-^

[dalesys]

...Me: Hi, can I speak to Accounts Payable, please?
SC: (snottily) This is a business. We don't have an "Accounts Payable"...

Sounds like one hellofa business plan: No out-go, just in-come.

I'll bet a Harvard PhD has a book out promoting this... Dr. Phil?

[Mr.Customer]

I actually hate it when people call my busniss and ask for accounts payable. Yes maybe larger businesses have such a department, where the person's job is accoutns payable, along with a customer service department, a human resources department etc. but small businesses don't have an "accounts payable" department, so it is a seriously stupid question to be asked and a waste of my time when it is asked. I would rather the person one the other end would identify themselves and the company they are calling from, such as "Hello, this is Bob from billing for [phone company] could I speak to.." But instead I get "hello, can we get accounts payable"

[chickengirl]

I actually hate it when people call my busniss and ask for accounts payable. Yes maybe larger businesses have such a department, where the person's job is accoutns payable, along with a customer service department, a human resources department etc. but small businesses don't have an "accounts payable" department, so it is a seriously stupid question to be asked and a waste of my time when it is asked. I would rather the person one the other end would identify themselves and the company they are calling from, such as "Hello, this is Bob from billing for [phone company] could I speak to.." But instead I get "hello, can we get accounts payable"

I switch up my initial greeting based on who it is that I initially get on the phone. If I think or know I'm speaking to a secretary or receptionist, I'll just ask for AP. Otherwise, "Hi, this is chickengirl, I'm calling from The Phone Company regarding the cell phone account, can I speak to Accounts Payable, please?" I have to ask for Accounts Payable for two reasons. 1) I often don't have the name of the contact person I need to ask for. 2) Larger businesses who do have an AP department think it sounds unprofessional if we ask for "the person who pays the bills". Which is all "accounts payable" means. So if you pay the bills, then guess what. That's you.

I also don't get any indication of the size of the business from the information I have immediately available. (It's possible to look it up, but I don't get ANY preview time. Hell, sometimes you're on the line before my screen is even up!)

Now, chickengirl, you ask. Why don't you have the name of the contact person? Why doesn't your screen say whether it's a small-small business or a large-small business so that you don't have to piss people off by asking stupid questions? Why don't you at least get, say 15 seconds of preview before getting someone on the line?

The answer is, because that would require the management of my company, in general, to extract their heads from their asses. It would also require our more immediate management to give a rat's ass about us collections peons.

[Andara Bledin]

could I speak to.." But instead I get "hello, can we get accounts payable"

As much as it would be nice for those small business that are so small that they don't have a receptionist, on the other end, it would make things take 5 times as long if we identified ourselves at every stage of the call.

When I make calls, I ask for "Accounts Payable" (not a department, just the function), and if I get something that equates to "that's me" from the other end, then I identify myself and give the reason for the call.

I suspect that most receptionists are thankful that I don't do the entire spiel prior to getting to the part about who I want to talk to. When I was answering phones, I certainly appreciated the people who just let me know who they wanted without giving me their entire life's story first. If I needed more details at that point, I'd ask.

Now, I get a lot more info about my customers than poor Chickengirl, but I also have four other jobs I also have to do during the day, so every second saved by not giving out irrelevant or redundant information makes a difference.

^-.-^