helpless idiots

[vacation_rentals_suck]

Guest: Dave, I am so overwhelmed here trying to plan my vacation. I know nothing about the area and I want you to tell me about it

Me: what would you like to know?

Guest: I dont know. What questions am I supposed to be asking?

Me: Well what types of things are you looking to do on vacation?

Guest: I dont know. I am just so overwhelmed with all the different options. What types of things would I enjoy?

Me: we have bike trails, tennis, golf, things like that

Guest: ok that tells me nothing

Me: what I can do is mail you out one of our brochures

Guest: ok Dave, I dont feel like we are connecting. I dont want a brochure. I want you to describe the area to me if its not too much trouble

Me: no its not, I just need to know what you are looking for

Guest: you know what, I think I need to talk to someone else. You arent the slightest bit helpful

Me: ok hang on one second

I transfer her to a coworker but I listened in on the call

coworker: this is Sara can I help you

Guest: (crying) Sara, I am sorry, I know this is is not your fault but Dave just ruined my morning. He wouldnt tell me anything about the area because I dont know specifically what I want. You know what just forget it, you probably wont be any more helpful than he was. I cant do this anymore. That bastard Dave has me all stressed out. Goodbye

[searssoulslave]

To Guest:
No it sounds like you were stressed out at the mere idea of having to make a decision on your own. Perhaps you should have asked your handler to do this for you because obviously you were still reeling from the ever so difficult process of choosing pancakes or waffles...

[Anakah]

What the hell did she want? Were you supposed to take her on a virtual reality tour while on the phone?? I thought you were perfectly helpful. It's not like you know what she'd enjoy. Apparently, she enjoys NOTHING because its too damn stressful to figure out what the hell she'd like!!!!

[Marmalady]

Ah well, that's what Customer Service is all about, we can tap directly into the customers' neural processes and instinctively know what they would enjoy....

[infinitemonkies]

I see that a lot at the hotel too: People who are so obsessed and stressed out with everything being just right for their vacation that afterwards they really need to go back to work so they can relax.

What people like that really need vacations like this: Book, hammock, beer, and most important of all: no phone.

[bhskittykatt]

I get them all the time, too.

SC: "What is there to do around town?"
Me: "Well, that depends, what kinds of things are you into?"
SC: "I dunno."

Fortunately, I am intimately familiar with the concierge book, as I developed it, so if they're asking me in person, I'll just pass that off to the guest and let them sit in the corner and read it.

If there happens to be a unique event or festival going on, that makes a good reply, too.

Me: "Well, we have lots of activities, depending on your interests. Today, it just so happens we have a festival with piano races, so that's one thing you could check out."
SC: *eyes light up* "Piano races?!?! That sounds cool!"

Yes, folks, piano races, with actual pianos. Very, very cool!

[Bunny the Veggie Slayer]

I've been meaning to ask...

Is it just me, or does anyone else hear VRS's customers as HAL in 2001?

"Open the pod bay doors HAL."
"I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that. You ruined my holiday"

[Sliceanddice]

I've been meaning to ask...

Is it just me, or does anyone else hear VRS's customers as HAL in 2001?

"Open the pod bay doors HAL."
"I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that. You ruined my holiday"

everyone does, i like to lean more towards benders girlfriend voice for the women though, and bender for the men.

[LillFilly]

My...my...Poor...Ow...Brain!

Dave, I got nothing on you.

[tropicsgoddess]

Dude, you hit a new low in idiocy with this SC. I think my brain just did this....

[EricKei]

Ah well, that's what Customer Service is all about, we can tap directly into the customers' neural processes and instinctively know what they would enjoy....

I'd really rather not connect directly to their minds...I'm afraid some of their neurons might infect my own braincase. Let that happen too often and I'll have a ...broken...in my...grey head thing.

[AccountingDrone]

I see that a lot at the hotel too: People who are so obsessed and stressed out with everything being just right for their vacation that afterwards they really need to go back to work so they can relax.

What people like that really need vacations like this: Book, hammock, beer, and most important of all: no phone.

Then I would recommend a Caribbean cruise! Ours was heavenly. I could veg on the balcony with a pot of coffee and a book and enjoy the warm tropical breeze watching the beach and quai, Rob would go ashore and shop, and there was a swimming pool with beach chairs, and beaches, and a small casino, and even shopping on the boat. The food was great, and everywhere on the boat were food places and bars. You could be as active or sedentary as you wanted.

Screw land based vacations=) How many museums of large rubber band balls and dead critters bones posed in scenes do you need to see anyway!

[Magpie]

Screw land based vacations=) How many museums of large rubber band balls and dead critters bones posed in scenes do you need to see anyway!

Many many many. And even more museums of explody things.

And is it that there are far more people who don't even know how to ask a question than I want to believe in, or is it just that VRS gets them all? It's not even as if he doesn't answer until they give him details. I assumed that most people, upon hearing what an answer to their question sounds like are able to come up with filters for the answers (if they weren't with it enough to do so in the first place).

[El Pollo Guerrera]

I want you to describe the area to me if its not too much trouble

"We have some very nice ground... and where the ground stops the sky begins. It doesn't look like much when you're up close but from a distance it looks really nice. We have weather of all kinds, but not all at once..."

People who are so obsessed and stressed out with everything being just right for their vacation that afterwards they really need to go back to work so they can relax.

Reminds me of a quote: "You fly a kite with a string, not a stick." People should have a little flexibility in their plans, just in case something does/doesn't work out.

[Andara Bledin]

Yes, folks, piano races, with actual pianos. Very, very cool!

Well, unless you're a piano.

^-.-^