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So this regular calls in. Sorry for the brevity, I should start recording calls so I can make a more complete transcript...
DITH = Deer In The Headlights Woman
Me = God
Me "*Workplace name*, Ryan speaking."
DITH "Blah blah blah computer problems blah. What time are you alone in the shop?"
Me "Very rarely, sometimes for an hour or two between when CW leaves and Boss gets in."
DITH "I want to go when your boss isn't there blah blah I'd rather pay you blah blah."
DITH explains problem, I say that's sounds simple enough, reiterate to come in whenever she feels is most convenient, DITH states she wants to get me when i'm the only one there. 30 Goto 10. A few minutes later...
Me "That really isn't necessary it sounds like a simple issue. Besides, if you were to pay me under the table I'd cut Boss a bit of that anyway."
DITH *POP *"But why?" *BZZZT*
Me "I like to think of it as a referral fee."
DITH "But I want to pay you!"
I know I'm going to end up either throwing her out tomorrow or she's going to use the situation to feed lies to Boss or CW to try and scam something out of us. HELL, I throw her out and she'll try to use that to get stuff out of Boss. "He was so mean and rude and my laptop isn't working still and that other laptop never worked for us we could never use it to get on the internet and i never have to breath in because i have a hole in my back that sucks in air so i never have to stop talking so i can just try to steamroll you in an auditory fashion and..."
EDIT: I don't know what I told her but it seems to have scared her off.
DITH = Deer In The Headlights Woman
Me = God
Me "*Workplace name*, Ryan speaking."
DITH "Blah blah blah computer problems blah. What time are you alone in the shop?"
Me "Very rarely, sometimes for an hour or two between when CW leaves and Boss gets in."
DITH "I want to go when your boss isn't there blah blah I'd rather pay you blah blah."
DITH explains problem, I say that's sounds simple enough, reiterate to come in whenever she feels is most convenient, DITH states she wants to get me when i'm the only one there. 30 Goto 10. A few minutes later...
Me "That really isn't necessary it sounds like a simple issue. Besides, if you were to pay me under the table I'd cut Boss a bit of that anyway."
DITH *POP *"But why?" *BZZZT*
Me "I like to think of it as a referral fee."
DITH "But I want to pay you!"
I know I'm going to end up either throwing her out tomorrow or she's going to use the situation to feed lies to Boss or CW to try and scam something out of us. HELL, I throw her out and she'll try to use that to get stuff out of Boss. "He was so mean and rude and my laptop isn't working still and that other laptop never worked for us we could never use it to get on the internet and i never have to breath in because i have a hole in my back that sucks in air so i never have to stop talking so i can just try to steamroll you in an auditory fashion and..."
EDIT: I don't know what I told her but it seems to have scared her off.