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This is a long one, but I HAD to get it off my chest.
I work as a demonstrator/promotions rep for various retail outlets. Usually communications and electronics, but sometimes new food/drink brands and products use us to "create excitement" and "generate buzz" about their new crap.
At the minute, I demonstrate new electronic devices like telephones and television add-ons for a popular Australian telecommunications company. My job is to stand near the display of the new phone and ask people if they have seen it yet, and try to subtly coerce them into watching me demonstrate it.
Just think Vince, the ShamWOW! guy, but without the cool headset microphone, and a lot more confusion with customers.
Because most of my job involves standing in one spot waiting around for someone to pass me or catch my eye, to the untrained eye, I might look like an employee just standing around, doing nothing. My uniform is completely different from all the other reps, but my shirt does have the company logo on it. I don't wear a name-tag that says "STAFF", like everyone else, but...well, my shirt has a logo on it. I never ask anyone if I can help them, but, you know. Shirt + Logo = HELP ME RIGHT NOW YOU LAZY BUM.
Unfortunately for these hapless customers, I am not even employed by the company whose shop they are in. I'm employed by an external marketing company, of whom the telecommunications company is a client. So, even if I wanted to help them (which, you know, I don't), I don't have the knowledge or training to do any such thing.
Because of this, I have to repeat the phrase, "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you -- I'm just the demonstrator. One of the consultants will be with you in a moment; while you're waiting, have you seen the new SpecialAwesomePhone?"
Some people get it. They nod, they watch my little schpeil, hell, some even wind up thanking me and purchasing the device. Hooray!
But, well, you know. The Sucky ones.
I'll break it down, now.
The Stink Eye:
These customers are waiting in line to be served. My station is right next to the queue, and, if only one rep is serving at the moment, they just have to wait. Or, they could whisper loudly to the person they're with -- "That girl over there isn't doing ANYTHING!" and then proceed to give me the annoyed, expectant look, which says so clearly, "You. Serve me. POST-HASTE." When they occasionally get the self-righteous I'm the entitled-customer nerve up, come over and ask me to serve them, I respond with (you guessed it): "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you -- I'm just the demonstrator. One of the consultants will be with you in a moment; while you're waiting, have you seen the new SpecialAwesomePhone?"
The "I Ignored Everything You Just Said":
When a customer approaches me, I usually try to head problems off at the pass by exclaiming, before they can say anything, "Hi! I'm the SuperAwesomePhone demonstrator. Have you had a chance to see the new SuperAwesomePhone?"
The "I Ignored Everything You Just Said" simply responds with, "Yeah, my phone isn't working, I tried to call customer service, but..blahlbhalbahlbah."
The best one I ever had was a guy who responded to this intro by saying, "Well, I hope you can. See, my phone..blahblahblahbah." He had CLEARLY, by his response, ignored me entirely, and in his fictional little world heard me say, "Can I help you?"
The "But It's Just A Quick Question!":
So, I give my intro, they brush me off and ask their dumb question anydangway. My response? "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you -- I'm just the demonstrator. One of the consultants will be with you in a moment; while you're waiting, have you seen the new SpecialAwesomePhone?"
Their response? "But it's just a quick question! Do I really have to wait just for that?"
My (imagined) response? "Yes, you do, because your special question doesn't magically make the answer appear in my head."
The "Fine, I'll Just Come Back LATER Then!":
These people are so impatient with me that they continually come in the store, then out of the store, then in the store, then out of the store, all the while asking me if anybody can actually help them. I always point out that if they just waited a few minutes, they'd be helped -- everytime they exit and re-enter, they go back to the end of the line. But, nay, they're too impatient. These people often turn into The "But It's Just A Quick Question!" people without warning.
The "Embarrassed By Their Own Suckery":
These people wait impatiently for 30 seconds and then stomp over to me demanding to be served and complaining that I'm just standing around while paying customers are waiting. Naturally, I reply, "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you -- I'm just the demonstrator. One of the consultants will be with you in a moment; while you're waiting, have you seen the new SpecialAwesomePhone?" They don't really want to see the demonstration -- in fact, they're sheepish because they got all jerky on me for no reason. So they mutter a quick, "Oh! No....not interested." And then stand as far away from me as possible to wait for a consultant.
The "You're from a different country?":
I'm an American living in Australia, and I get all kinds of lovely conversation about it. And by lovely, I mean insulting, and by conversation, I mean blathering.
Customers will often ask what I thought of President Bush, or what I'm planning on doing about the socialism and the atheism that's running rampant over there. They'll make fun of my accent (I'm from Oregon, so it's not like I have a Southern accent or anything, but, from hearing them mimicking me, I must sound like Foghorn Leghorn) or they'll complain about all the foreigners "invading" Australia.
I had one guy come up to me every two seconds to ask things like, "So, what do you think about this oil spill?", to which I gave a short, one sentence answer, and he went away. Then, back he'd come, with something like, "Is it true that Americans are all fat over there?" -- another 5 word answer, and he was gone. Once, he asked me something that I actually felt comfortable giving a good answer to -- something about the Oregon coast, I think -- and in the midst of my second sentence, he cut me off with a sharp, "Okay, okay!" and then went away. I mean, WTF?
Finally, the last one is less about being a demonstrator and more about the poor location of my display counter -- right next to the phone that customers are steered towards to get customer service from the Big Boss Company that we can't provide as a retail outlet. These customers are usually the ones that have been shuffled from operator to operator, and are irate over their bill, their service, their shoe size -- basically, whatever they can be irate about.
They are known simply as
The "I'm having a bad day, and you're the closest person to me with a logo".
Their comments include things like, "Are you just going to stand there and watch me make this call?", "HERE, YOU talk to them!", "I've been on hold FOREVER! You people disgust me!", "Why can't YOU deal with this?", "This is the worst company ever! You just stick PAYING CUSTOMERS on the phone! What kind of customer service is that?!", "I am SO SICK of these damned foreigners at the call centres! I want to talk to an AUSTRALIAN!", "Fix this for me! That guy made me get on the phone!"
And so much more.
My response?
Oh, I think you all know what it is.
DemoDiva
I work as a demonstrator/promotions rep for various retail outlets. Usually communications and electronics, but sometimes new food/drink brands and products use us to "create excitement" and "generate buzz" about their new crap.
At the minute, I demonstrate new electronic devices like telephones and television add-ons for a popular Australian telecommunications company. My job is to stand near the display of the new phone and ask people if they have seen it yet, and try to subtly coerce them into watching me demonstrate it.
Just think Vince, the ShamWOW! guy, but without the cool headset microphone, and a lot more confusion with customers.
Because most of my job involves standing in one spot waiting around for someone to pass me or catch my eye, to the untrained eye, I might look like an employee just standing around, doing nothing. My uniform is completely different from all the other reps, but my shirt does have the company logo on it. I don't wear a name-tag that says "STAFF", like everyone else, but...well, my shirt has a logo on it. I never ask anyone if I can help them, but, you know. Shirt + Logo = HELP ME RIGHT NOW YOU LAZY BUM.
Unfortunately for these hapless customers, I am not even employed by the company whose shop they are in. I'm employed by an external marketing company, of whom the telecommunications company is a client. So, even if I wanted to help them (which, you know, I don't), I don't have the knowledge or training to do any such thing.
Because of this, I have to repeat the phrase, "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you -- I'm just the demonstrator. One of the consultants will be with you in a moment; while you're waiting, have you seen the new SpecialAwesomePhone?"
Some people get it. They nod, they watch my little schpeil, hell, some even wind up thanking me and purchasing the device. Hooray!
But, well, you know. The Sucky ones.
I'll break it down, now.
The Stink Eye:
These customers are waiting in line to be served. My station is right next to the queue, and, if only one rep is serving at the moment, they just have to wait. Or, they could whisper loudly to the person they're with -- "That girl over there isn't doing ANYTHING!" and then proceed to give me the annoyed, expectant look, which says so clearly, "You. Serve me. POST-HASTE." When they occasionally get the self-righteous I'm the entitled-customer nerve up, come over and ask me to serve them, I respond with (you guessed it): "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you -- I'm just the demonstrator. One of the consultants will be with you in a moment; while you're waiting, have you seen the new SpecialAwesomePhone?"
The "I Ignored Everything You Just Said":
When a customer approaches me, I usually try to head problems off at the pass by exclaiming, before they can say anything, "Hi! I'm the SuperAwesomePhone demonstrator. Have you had a chance to see the new SuperAwesomePhone?"
The "I Ignored Everything You Just Said" simply responds with, "Yeah, my phone isn't working, I tried to call customer service, but..blahlbhalbahlbah."
The best one I ever had was a guy who responded to this intro by saying, "Well, I hope you can. See, my phone..blahblahblahbah." He had CLEARLY, by his response, ignored me entirely, and in his fictional little world heard me say, "Can I help you?"
The "But It's Just A Quick Question!":
So, I give my intro, they brush me off and ask their dumb question anydangway. My response? "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you -- I'm just the demonstrator. One of the consultants will be with you in a moment; while you're waiting, have you seen the new SpecialAwesomePhone?"
Their response? "But it's just a quick question! Do I really have to wait just for that?"
My (imagined) response? "Yes, you do, because your special question doesn't magically make the answer appear in my head."
The "Fine, I'll Just Come Back LATER Then!":
These people are so impatient with me that they continually come in the store, then out of the store, then in the store, then out of the store, all the while asking me if anybody can actually help them. I always point out that if they just waited a few minutes, they'd be helped -- everytime they exit and re-enter, they go back to the end of the line. But, nay, they're too impatient. These people often turn into The "But It's Just A Quick Question!" people without warning.
The "Embarrassed By Their Own Suckery":
These people wait impatiently for 30 seconds and then stomp over to me demanding to be served and complaining that I'm just standing around while paying customers are waiting. Naturally, I reply, "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't help you -- I'm just the demonstrator. One of the consultants will be with you in a moment; while you're waiting, have you seen the new SpecialAwesomePhone?" They don't really want to see the demonstration -- in fact, they're sheepish because they got all jerky on me for no reason. So they mutter a quick, "Oh! No....not interested." And then stand as far away from me as possible to wait for a consultant.
The "You're from a different country?":
I'm an American living in Australia, and I get all kinds of lovely conversation about it. And by lovely, I mean insulting, and by conversation, I mean blathering.
Customers will often ask what I thought of President Bush, or what I'm planning on doing about the socialism and the atheism that's running rampant over there. They'll make fun of my accent (I'm from Oregon, so it's not like I have a Southern accent or anything, but, from hearing them mimicking me, I must sound like Foghorn Leghorn) or they'll complain about all the foreigners "invading" Australia.
I had one guy come up to me every two seconds to ask things like, "So, what do you think about this oil spill?", to which I gave a short, one sentence answer, and he went away. Then, back he'd come, with something like, "Is it true that Americans are all fat over there?" -- another 5 word answer, and he was gone. Once, he asked me something that I actually felt comfortable giving a good answer to -- something about the Oregon coast, I think -- and in the midst of my second sentence, he cut me off with a sharp, "Okay, okay!" and then went away. I mean, WTF?
Finally, the last one is less about being a demonstrator and more about the poor location of my display counter -- right next to the phone that customers are steered towards to get customer service from the Big Boss Company that we can't provide as a retail outlet. These customers are usually the ones that have been shuffled from operator to operator, and are irate over their bill, their service, their shoe size -- basically, whatever they can be irate about.
They are known simply as
The "I'm having a bad day, and you're the closest person to me with a logo".
Their comments include things like, "Are you just going to stand there and watch me make this call?", "HERE, YOU talk to them!", "I've been on hold FOREVER! You people disgust me!", "Why can't YOU deal with this?", "This is the worst company ever! You just stick PAYING CUSTOMERS on the phone! What kind of customer service is that?!", "I am SO SICK of these damned foreigners at the call centres! I want to talk to an AUSTRALIAN!", "Fix this for me! That guy made me get on the phone!"
And so much more.
My response?
Oh, I think you all know what it is.
DemoDiva
I've been living in Oregon for the past three years, and I can't detect any discernable accent in anyone's speaking here. It basically sounds like Generic American.
I got the Bush and Texans one once, I've never lived in Texas. I've seen more of the Dallas airport than actual Texas.
To my Kiwi ears it's the generic "American" accent, ie. similar, but not the same, to the one I here on my tv most of the time (hi LA!). I have a friend who lives over there, planning on going to visit next year (if I can get the money...(looking at it, I know I will have the money, essentially, so starting to get tempted to get a credit card so I can get the flights cheap when they become available, because I may not have the money when they are available, but I wouldn't really like doing that at all...))
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