Early Morning Phone Calls

[Moggie]

Lupo, would you be allowed to answer "Textbook Hell, Security"?

We did that at the hardware store, and I've seen others mention the same here on CS.

Most of us, even managers, would answer in a brusque tone of voice. Not rude, but not with the overly pleasant "How can I help you?" voice either. Didn't always work, but seemed to most of the time.

We even had a service manager that would answer; "[Store Name] Security.....they open at [time]!"


Mike

THIS! When I was working for the java addicts shop we used to do this even when people came up and rattled the doors. I had a cheap black t-shirt that said 'SECURITY' on it, which I would point at for the door-rattlers.

Oddly enough, it even works on raging caffeine addicts.

[Captain Trips]

I'm sorry ma'am. None of the books in our store fuck. They are regular books. For fucking books you would need to go to a porn shop. I do apologize, but I am not familiar with the porn shops in town, so I can't tell you where the nearest is.

Actually, to be honest, I did find a fucking book at my college bookstore: "The Dummy's Guide to Sex" - really!

[Tama]

I wish we had a place to find a fucking book, but we have a giant christian college in my town, so no Hooters, let alone a fucking book store!

[PepperElf]

you people are SSSOOO fucking LAZY

that coming from the person who's too lazy to look up their own course number and session...

shopping

lol. those are always fun to read

[fireheart]

Am I an evil person because I got all excited when I saw that Lupo had a post today?


*now to wander over to "Sightings" to see if Lupo went shopping*

No, that's why she has a church. although our current priests are elsewhere...

I wish we had a place to find a fucking book, but we have a giant christian college in my town, so no Hooters, let alone a fucking book store!

Like all other forms of pornography, you can find some on the Internet. (Current legislation in all states of Ausland barring ACT and NT does not allow for the sale of porn, however it's not strictly enforced. Mail-order is legal)

[Whiskey]

Typical student behavior. Plus the fact that everyone's printer breaks the night before a paper is due.

Hey! Not all of us are like that! I buy my notebooks at target. My campus sells them for 4-5$ a pop!

[mattm04]

SC: YOUR SIGN SAYS YOU OPEN AT 7:30!! IT'S 7:26 AND YOU'RE STILL CLOOOOOOSSSSSSSEEEDD!!!

Very good. 7:26 is BEFORE 7:30. I is college student. But, you still missed the Summer Hours sign.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Our store opens at 10. Awhile back I had a guy show up at 9:52 and do the following.

- Yank on the door handle, then peer inside when it didn't unlock
- Tap on the glass.
- Tap on the glass again and point aggressively at his watch (it's 9:54 now)
- Start banging on the glass, yelling at me to let him in.

I go to the door and tell him we open in FIVE minutes and if he keeps being an idiot, I will call the police.

On the flip side there was another time a guy showed at 9:22 PM wanting to trade some stuff in for cash so he would have gas money. We close at 9 PM, by 9:22 the registers are closed down and I'm done counting up the deposit.

This guy begged me repeatedly to let him do it and didn't even give up when I told him (twice) that the registers were down and I had NO WAY to run a transaction. (Not that I would have done it for him if the registers were NOT closed, but...)

So he went back to his car and proceeded to sit out in the parking lot for at least 10 minutes before finally driving off.

[EricKei]

We even had a service manager that would answer; "[Store Name] Security.....they open at [time]!"

Back at 'DaddyJim's Pizza', we were able to change our spiel just a bit before/after hours...

Normal: 'Thank you for calling DaddyJim's location name, we have ___ on special today, my name is EricKei, how can I help you?'

When closed: 'DaddyJim's.'

...But both there and GameStore would have a FIT if we tried to close so much as 5 minutes early without prior authorization, even if the last order was THREE HOURS AGO >_<

[roguesqd]

answer it as Textbook Hell security, that will usually make em leave ya alone

[Jester]

I pointed out we didn't open until 7:30 and he gave me an evil, evil look and proceeded to tell me that I didn't understand how the retail world worked. He told me there was a ten minute rule. For the sake of good customer service, a store MUST open 10 minutes prior to posted time and close 10 minutes after posted time, because it wasn't right to rush customers, or keep them waiting with pesky little things like following scheduled hours.

I dealt with a coworker a while back who spouted something like this.

I was opening the bar with Clueless Wonder and The Captain. At some point, for some reason, Clueless Wonder informs The Captain and myself that restaurants are supposed to open 5-10 minutes early.

The Captain and I just stared at him. Seeing as he was in his early twenties, I was in my late thirties, The Captain was in his late forties, and the two of us had been working in restaurants quite literally since Clueless Wonder had still been playing with fingerpaints. And HE was telling US how the industry worked?

We didn't think so!

[Jay 2K Winger]

Example 3
Ok, SERIOUSLY?!?

Me: <Picks up phone, can't even say hello>
SC: YOUR SIGN SAYS YOU OPEN AT 7:30!! IT'S 7:26 AND YOU'RE STILL CLOOOOOOSSSSSSSEEEDD!!!
Me: Er...actually our summer hours list us opening at 8...Did you need a scantron or blue book for an exam? Because there's a small shop set up on campus over by the---
SC: NONONO!! I NEED THE ATM!!!
(Note: There's an ATM in the parking lot, and one in our store.)
Me: Um....
SC: I NEED the ATM in the store so I don't get charged FEES!
Me: Ohh, well, there are other locations for that particular brand of ATM on campus, and they're located in--
SC: I WANT TO USE THE ATM!!!
Me: I apologize, ma'am, we open at 8.
SC: I'm reporting you!!! <Slams phone down>
Me: I haven't had nearly enough caffeine to deal with this...

Ugh, you just reminded me of someone I once had to deal with at the wholesale club.

At the time, the store had a "Vigilant Bank" (not its real name) inside it. However, the bank had closed hours before, and the store itself was getting closing as well.

Enter Mr. Stupid. He tries to walk in, I stop him.

Mr. S: I just need to visit the bank.
J2K: The bank closed at [time].
Mr. S: What?
J2K: The bank closed [x] hours ago.
Mr. S: What time do you open tomorrow?
J2K: At [time] in the morning.
Mr. S: What if I need to use the ATM?
J2K: ...what.
Mr. S: Well, what if I need to visit the bank? They open earlier than that.
J2K: ...at other "Vigilant" locations, that may be true. Our branch here opens at [time].
Mr. S: What about the ATM? You'll let me in if I need to use their ATM, right?
J2K: No.
Mr. S: But if I use another ATM, I'll get charged a fee!
J2K: I understand that. I bank at "Vigilant" myself. But the bank is closed. If you want to use the ATM, you can do so right now, as long as you leave as soon as you're done.

I forget the rest, but Mr. Stupid eventually left.

[bainsidhe]

Lupo, would you be allowed to answer "Textbook Hell, Security"?

This! You'll still get the odd customer who wants you to spend thirty minutes running around to answer their question, but it will stop most callers in their tracks.