Then you don't need his number

[AnqeiicDemise]

Best Buddies



M: Thank you for calling Rent-a-share, this is Demise how may I help you?
G: I am a senior citizen, 80 years old and I don't think you can help me. I have been with your company for twenty or so years, been there and back and know what you can and cannot do. Do you know who Grimm is? I don't think you know who Grimms is.. but I would like to know. I don't mean to disrespect you or anything, but .. you know what I am saying?
M: Of course I know who Grimms is, he is our CEO with the company.
G: You seem to know your stuff, young lady how long have you worked for the company? Anyway, have you ever met Grimms, he's a very nice young fellah and I knew him from when he was in sales and he sold me my Rent-a-share back in 83.
M: I've never met him personally to be honest--- I've been in the same room with him and he's answered a few of my questions but he's a very busy guy. He certainly has gone places from his old days that is for sure-- but if I may be so bold.. I know you say I may be of no help, but what is going on-- and can I have your share number so I can look up your account and see what I may be able to assist with?
G: my number is 1521w65143 and I am Guy Styles the XI, not junior, not x-i, number 11 or extra large, I am the ninth. Roman number XI, Guy Styles. I share this name with a lot of men in my family and neither one of us have a middle intial....

[five minutes go by in this fashion.]

and do you know who Lady Gaga is? My wife taught at her school and knew LG and all her little siblings and cousins-- the whole family. Speaking of singers, my daughter looks a lot like Rihanna... you know who Rihanna is? She is a very good singer...except my daughter cannot sing like her. She thinks she does, but she doesn't and I won't tell her a thing unless I want to die.

[another five minutes]. So i had this extension done and I want it extended further for free.

M: To make sure I am following you correctly, your wife called in on 6/2008 to extend the share for 2 years and did not understand that by doing so it would extend until 6/2010 NOT 12/2010
G: no, she called in to ask about the program but your rep did it anyway.
M: so she didn't authorize the extension and inquired about how it works therefore being instructed shares are extended from the date of extension, not from the original expiration date,i.e. she was told if she extended 6/2008 it would expire 06/2010?
G: no she authorized it, but didn't know what she was doing.
M: So you say she called in to authorize extension but not ask about how it works?
G: ...I am saying your people made an extension without permission.
M: so your wife didn't authorize the extension?
G: it was done as a mistake.
M: And when did you catch this mistake, Mr. G?
G: Oh, she told me about the extension in 6/2008 but what I am trying to say is she wans't advised to call back in December to extend it then. I called to talk to a supervisor and they told me they couldn't do anything about it. I did this in December when I called in to make my extension.
M: According to our records, Mr. G, I don't have a note of this conversation all communication/transactions must be recorded on the account. The only records I show of this being brought to our attention is on today.
G: You just have to extend it for another six months, I don't see what the big deal is (insert ten minute excuse).
M: I do understand it may have been a mistake on your wife's part mr g, but she still authorized the exchange and now it is two years after the fact. I can no longer extend this program further from my end, you need to speak to that Exchange department. There is a fee to extend it and they are having a special deal today to do so at a cheaper rate.
G: I shouldn't have to pay, you made the deposit in error.
M: but sir, you just advised me that your wife knew the extension would be good for two years and authorized it to be done. You are also calling this dept. two years after the fact. I can *no longer* change it. I would have been able to grant an exception or make changes to the extension in 2008 but it is now twenty four months after the original transaction.
G: Someone can. I know it. It is good customer service. You DO understand I am good friends with Mr. Grimms, right?
M: Yes I do, Mr. Guy but this is a policy that is set in pace by our Trust and cannot be changed by neither myself or Mr.Grimms. The extension can be done, with cash, at Company B.
G: I'm sure Grimms would do it. Or your supervisor. Or someone with Company B.. at no cost.
M: I do understand your frustration, Mr. Guy but I cannot make changes to the extensions after forty eight hours let alone twenty four months after the fact. Mr. Grimms would not be able to make this change as our Trust clearly outlines certain policies and by breaking these policies we would be breaking a legal contract between our company and its members. This would be a disservice to our customers.
G: but it wouldn't be to me,a nd I know Grimms would make this exchange. No disrespect to you, young lady, but Grimms and I are friends.. and other people in your company has granted me exceptions based on this fact because they can see I am friends with him. Can I talk to your supervisor or someone higher than her?
M: I see in your case files that you've already spoken to my supervisor and she has advised you that we cannot make any changes to these extensions on our end and you have to speak to Company B. There is no one higher in the food chain you can speak with.
G: Then let me speak to Grimms. He'll do it for me.
M: I am sorry, but I have no way to transfer you to him.
G: Alright, can I have his number then?
M: Mr. Grimms cannot be reached by phone, Mr. Guy, if you need to reach him in regarding this matter you can do so by mail at our corporate headquarters. I can give you his address if you'd like.
G: No disrespect to you, but I am friends with Grimms and he will do this for me.
M: Mr. Grimms is a rather busy person and therefore his contact information is confidential, Mr. Guy. I don't even have access to it and neither does my supervisor. I do believe it may be easier for you to reach him at a personal level than it would be for me. Is there anything else that I can help you with?


...

If he really is your friend, you don't need ME giving you his information. Really.

[Sterlingbond]

I would've been tempted to say " No disrespect to you, but i've already told you I can't help you. Fuck off now."

[Taboo]

"Well, since you're friends with him, why not call him and ask?" *click*

Problem solved.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Ah, the old "I'm a friend of your boss" routine...

I used to say "If you know her, then you know what she'd do to me if I (did whatever they were asking for)..."

Then I'd say "You can complain to her the next time she's here, but I'm not allowed/able/going to (do that thing they were asking)."

[Mnemjian]

Although I do prefer people telling lies nicely instead of screaming them, it's still pretty lame what he was trying to do. The old "I know the owner" trick barely works even if they DO actually know the owner.

My favorite is: "I'm old friends with the owner, by the way. How is he?" "SHE is fine, thanks..."

[RxBoy]

I used to work for a small restaurant chain as an assistant manager. I wish I had a nickel for every complaint I got from someone where they had to throw in that they "have known the owner for years". It was usually the impossible-to-please type people that would say that. One particular customer had filled out a comment card about how bad the service was and indicated that she has known the owner for over 30 years. When I called her to discuss the comment card, I mentioned how she said she knows the owner. It turns out that the owner of the chain had been in the restaurant one night in 1974 when she was a little girl and her family ate dinner there. He had come up to the table to ask them how the food was. Apparently to her that constitutes having known the owner for years.

[Jester]

I am Guy Styles the XI, not junior, not x-i, number 11 or extra large, I am the ninth. Roman number XI, Guy Styles.

Someone in his family is fucking with him. Because Roman numeral XI IS eleven, NOT nine. Nine would be IX.

You DO understand I am good friends with Mr. Grimms, right?

I'm sure Grimms would do it. Or your supervisor. Or someone with Company B.. at no cost.

I know Grimms would make this exchange. No disrespect to you, young lady, but Grimms and I are friends..

G: Alright, can I have his number then?

The Bar is owned by a guy who is very well known in one particular American city. People from that city are always coming in to The Bar and asking about him, and often say they are "good friends" with him. If that is all they do, that's fine, because he is the kind of guy that when you meet him, he DOES make you feel like you are good friends, and he also has one of those freaky memories where he will remember your name ten years later after meeting you once. (I am not exaggerating...there are many instances of him doing just that.)

It's when they try to take it too far. But luckily, Owner is not unaware of how people are, and when he opened The Bar, he told the opening staff, "If anyone tells you they're my friend to try to get discounts, they're not my friend. My friends wouldn't do that. I'LL tell you who my friends are."

I especially love the people who insist that Owner would want them to have a free round, and if we don't believe them, we should call Owner up and ask him. Well, buddy, if you're so tight with him, YOU call him. What's that? You don't have his number? Why, you must not be so tight with him, huh? Oh, wait....it's your DAD that's tight with him? Well, great. You call Daddy. And have Daddy call Owner. And when Owner calls me and tells me, "yeah, my friend's douchebag son is at the bar, and I want you to buy him a free round to shut him the fuck up," THEN you get a free drink. Until then, go piss up a rope.