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Pet Peeves. A bit long
Hello! First post, and with some meat to it too! A little background: I work at a Marketing Research Company. It is the reverse of a typical call center - client tells us what kind of people to find, and we call around looking for them. This can range to asking parents what kinds of video games their kids play so we can pay them to do some play testing, to finding people with the new iPhone 4 to come in for a usability test, etc. To make it easier we tend to send out online surveys so we can get an idea before we dial totally random folks. Things that bother me about surveys:
1. BEST PHONE NUMBER TO REACH YOU AT: Anytime, Day, Night.
None of these answers is acceptable. Read the question. I am unable to dial "1-800-Anytime" and connect to you.
2. LAST NAME: Initial. Awesome. Our database keeps records of who you are, when you've been here, etc. I tend to look people up before calling them to make sure all the info matches up. This makes it a fun little guess-n-check game wherein I have to check every single "Sucky C." in the database against your email and phone number. Bonus points if you did this AND #1, making it further impossible to contact you.
3. WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVORTE?: All of them/None of them. Come on people. You cannot like everything on the list with 100% equal amiability. Just pick one.
4. MESSAGE ON MY EXTENSION: "Hi. This is Bob. You called me about a study... bye." Listen Bob. That's the only thing I call anybody about, so thank you for being totally vague. My voicemail says "Leave your first name, last name, and your phone number" ... TWICE. I cannot remember every single Bob I've called recently off the top of my head, so I'm more likely to delete your message than anything.
5. URGENT MESSAGE: When I playback my messages, it says "URGENT!" before the date and time of your message. It does not bump your message to the top of the queue or alert me that you called. This does nothing to instill a sense of urgency in me. It just makes people feel better that they have the option of marking their message urgent. Stop marking your casual callbacks urgent. ALSO. Do not leave me three messages a day, or one message every day for a week. You are annoying me, and I am not going to schedule you in to participate in any interviews or studies, because you are clearly way too pushy/antsy/annoying.
6. WHICH OF THESE DO YOU DO ON A DAILY BASIS? Daily. It says Daily. That means every day. I am going to have a hard time believing you if you just clicked Yes to every single option, including "Purchase (not just browse) from an online retailer," "Sign up/Join a website requiring member registration," AND "Download Games/Applications." How many websites do you belong to that you're signing up for a new one every day? Are there even that many websites requiring a login? You must have accrued thousands of user profiles over the past few years! Amazing! I'm even further impressed at the amount of cash you shell out on a daily basis to buy things online.
7. BRAGGART: Do not brag to me about how much you LOOOOVE video games, or how you know everything about [topic]. Actual quote: "Not to be rude but I seriously probably know more about technology than anybody else that will be there." Really? Do you? Because you're a 24 year old waiter, not a 40 year old IT Director. Even if that WERE the case? Your attitude is not condusive to a group conversation. Sorry, you talked yourself out of participating. Bonus points for combining this with #3 or #7.
8. DNR: This stands for "Do Not Recruit," which means this person is a total PITA or a complete liar. Since we pay people to do surveys and usability studies, we get a metric ton of liars. We have a DNR list of people who absolutely are not allowed to participate. Unfortunately for them, I can rattle off all of the most frequent offenders, so you will not get past me. Yes, I am talking to you, Ron Davis, Ron Lee Davis, Raun Davis, Ron Lee, Lee Davis, Arlee Davis... you aren't fooling me.
9. MS. JAIN - This is my DNR archnemesis. I see her in every survey. At one point, I even tried to trip her up: "Hi! This is Versa calling from FFR. I have a survey here saying you're a Lawyer, one from a couple days before saying you're a Law Student, one saying you're a 19 year old tennis player, and one telling me you're a 32 year old Record Label Manager. Would you mind clarifying this for me so I can make sure our database is consistent?" Your answer was TOTAL BS, but you didn't bat an eye when you spewed out some articulate yet senseless excuses.
10. MORONS IN MANAGEMENT - Not survey-related, but still.
Me: "I have a question."
Project Manager: "I'm too busy. Ask Supervisor."
Supervisor: "I don't know ... let me ask Project Manager."
Project Manager answers Supervisor's question.
WHAT?! So you're too busy to answer my question, but you'll do it if it's wasting everyone's time. Gotcha.
1. BEST PHONE NUMBER TO REACH YOU AT: Anytime, Day, Night.
None of these answers is acceptable. Read the question. I am unable to dial "1-800-Anytime" and connect to you. 2. LAST NAME: Initial. Awesome. Our database keeps records of who you are, when you've been here, etc. I tend to look people up before calling them to make sure all the info matches up. This makes it a fun little guess-n-check game wherein I have to check every single "Sucky C." in the database against your email and phone number. Bonus points if you did this AND #1, making it further impossible to contact you.
3. WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVORTE?: All of them/None of them. Come on people. You cannot like everything on the list with 100% equal amiability. Just pick one.
4. MESSAGE ON MY EXTENSION: "Hi. This is Bob. You called me about a study... bye." Listen Bob. That's the only thing I call anybody about, so thank you for being totally vague. My voicemail says "Leave your first name, last name, and your phone number" ... TWICE. I cannot remember every single Bob I've called recently off the top of my head, so I'm more likely to delete your message than anything.
5. URGENT MESSAGE: When I playback my messages, it says "URGENT!" before the date and time of your message. It does not bump your message to the top of the queue or alert me that you called. This does nothing to instill a sense of urgency in me. It just makes people feel better that they have the option of marking their message urgent. Stop marking your casual callbacks urgent. ALSO. Do not leave me three messages a day, or one message every day for a week. You are annoying me, and I am not going to schedule you in to participate in any interviews or studies, because you are clearly way too pushy/antsy/annoying.
6. WHICH OF THESE DO YOU DO ON A DAILY BASIS? Daily. It says Daily. That means every day. I am going to have a hard time believing you if you just clicked Yes to every single option, including "Purchase (not just browse) from an online retailer," "Sign up/Join a website requiring member registration," AND "Download Games/Applications." How many websites do you belong to that you're signing up for a new one every day? Are there even that many websites requiring a login? You must have accrued thousands of user profiles over the past few years! Amazing! I'm even further impressed at the amount of cash you shell out on a daily basis to buy things online.
7. BRAGGART: Do not brag to me about how much you LOOOOVE video games, or how you know everything about [topic]. Actual quote: "Not to be rude but I seriously probably know more about technology than anybody else that will be there." Really? Do you? Because you're a 24 year old waiter, not a 40 year old IT Director. Even if that WERE the case? Your attitude is not condusive to a group conversation. Sorry, you talked yourself out of participating. Bonus points for combining this with #3 or #7.
8. DNR: This stands for "Do Not Recruit," which means this person is a total PITA or a complete liar. Since we pay people to do surveys and usability studies, we get a metric ton of liars. We have a DNR list of people who absolutely are not allowed to participate. Unfortunately for them, I can rattle off all of the most frequent offenders, so you will not get past me. Yes, I am talking to you, Ron Davis, Ron Lee Davis, Raun Davis, Ron Lee, Lee Davis, Arlee Davis... you aren't fooling me.
9. MS. JAIN - This is my DNR archnemesis. I see her in every survey. At one point, I even tried to trip her up: "Hi! This is Versa calling from FFR. I have a survey here saying you're a Lawyer, one from a couple days before saying you're a Law Student, one saying you're a 19 year old tennis player, and one telling me you're a 32 year old Record Label Manager. Would you mind clarifying this for me so I can make sure our database is consistent?" Your answer was TOTAL BS, but you didn't bat an eye when you spewed out some articulate yet senseless excuses.
10. MORONS IN MANAGEMENT - Not survey-related, but still.
Me: "I have a question."
Project Manager: "I'm too busy. Ask Supervisor."
Supervisor: "I don't know ... let me ask Project Manager."
Project Manager answers Supervisor's question.
WHAT?! So you're too busy to answer my question, but you'll do it if it's wasting everyone's time. Gotcha.
to 
. *offers plate of cookies*
Pure pwnage! 
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