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So, a guy calls that someone is in his space who doesn’t belong. From the address given, I’m pretty much sure that it’s a false alarm.
Firstly, there are no assigned spaces in that lot.
Secondly, the lot in question is owned by “Company A” , a real estate management company that owns something like 30 different rental properties in this town. Collectively they have enough parking that they actually have a full-time person on their staff who does nothing but walk the lots looking for illegal cars. They call us all the time, and had just been in that lot not more than 15 minutes before this guy called and declared it clean.
Finally, most complaints about cars without permits from “civilians” are just honest mistakes because they aren’t trained to monitor said lots. They often call a car in as not belonging simply because they’ve never seen it before, and don’t even bother to check it. Or, they don’t see a permit in the usual spot (Back window) and don’t bother to check and see if the person put it on the FRONT windshield, a side window, left in on the sticker sheet and left that on the dash, or one of a dozen other permutations that people will do when they fail to follow simple instructions… but that’s a different rant.
We call him back and explain the situation, that lot was just checked, the car probably belongs, there are no assigned spaces, and just use one of the other spots in the lot for now. Problem solved, right?
(To those of you in the back row, no laughing yet, please, you’ll ruin it for the newbies)
He calls back FIVE times, still making the same argument, someone is in HIS space! We keep telling him not to worry about it, but he continues to call us. Just to humor him I drive over to the lot, which isn’t that far away. Over in the far corner, past dozens and dozens of open spots, I see someone standing next to a car with a cellphone, that must be him. He points at the car he’s standing next to and says.
“This guy is in my spot! Tow him!”
“Sir, there aren’t any assigned spaces in this lot”
“But he’s in MY spot!”
“That may be the space you usually park in, but it’s not “yours” in the sense that only you can park in it. This lot does not have assigned spaces.”
“But, he’s in my spot, can’t you do something about that?”
“Sir, I’ll say it again, there are no assigned spaces in this lot, there are no numbers on the ground and no numbers on the permits, if he has a permit, and he does, he can park in any space in this lot, and so can you, nobody has to stay in a specific space”
“Well, obviously he doesn’t belong here!”
“Uh, why?”
“Because I’ve never seen him before tonight! And now he’s in my space!”
“I’ve never seen him before either, but he has a permit”
“Then it’s fake!”
“The permit is valid Sir, I see hundreds of these a day, and that’s a good one.”
“Obviously not! He’s in my space! Why won’t you help me?!”
“Because nothing is wrong here Sir, he has a permit, he can park anywhere in the lot, I can’t tow a car out of this lot that has a permit unless he blocks a dumpster or parks on the grass, I can even show you the line in my rulebook that spells it out.” At this point, I do pull out my rules binder and open it up to the page that deals with that lot, where it says in black and white. Permit vehicles allowed anywhere in lot, except on grass or blocking dumpster He looks at it, shakes his head and mutters something about “calling management in the morning” to get the guy with the phony permit out of his space. At that point, I’ve already wasted about 20 minutes, I have to get rolling, so I tell him to have a good night and drive off.
In retrospect, I realize what I SHOULD have said to him at that point
“Sir, I want you to take a deep breath, step back a few paces, and clear the area around you of any fragile objects, small animals and children, because what I’m about to tell you will quite probably blow your mind with the same force as a quarter stick of dynamite.
Have you ever heard of the concept of, “new tenant” ?”
*POP* Oh dear, the janitor will hate me for this one ….
Firstly, there are no assigned spaces in that lot.
Secondly, the lot in question is owned by “Company A” , a real estate management company that owns something like 30 different rental properties in this town. Collectively they have enough parking that they actually have a full-time person on their staff who does nothing but walk the lots looking for illegal cars. They call us all the time, and had just been in that lot not more than 15 minutes before this guy called and declared it clean.
Finally, most complaints about cars without permits from “civilians” are just honest mistakes because they aren’t trained to monitor said lots. They often call a car in as not belonging simply because they’ve never seen it before, and don’t even bother to check it. Or, they don’t see a permit in the usual spot (Back window) and don’t bother to check and see if the person put it on the FRONT windshield, a side window, left in on the sticker sheet and left that on the dash, or one of a dozen other permutations that people will do when they fail to follow simple instructions… but that’s a different rant.
We call him back and explain the situation, that lot was just checked, the car probably belongs, there are no assigned spaces, and just use one of the other spots in the lot for now. Problem solved, right?
(To those of you in the back row, no laughing yet, please, you’ll ruin it for the newbies)
He calls back FIVE times, still making the same argument, someone is in HIS space! We keep telling him not to worry about it, but he continues to call us. Just to humor him I drive over to the lot, which isn’t that far away. Over in the far corner, past dozens and dozens of open spots, I see someone standing next to a car with a cellphone, that must be him. He points at the car he’s standing next to and says.
“This guy is in my spot! Tow him!”
“Sir, there aren’t any assigned spaces in this lot”
“But he’s in MY spot!”
“That may be the space you usually park in, but it’s not “yours” in the sense that only you can park in it. This lot does not have assigned spaces.”
“But, he’s in my spot, can’t you do something about that?”
“Sir, I’ll say it again, there are no assigned spaces in this lot, there are no numbers on the ground and no numbers on the permits, if he has a permit, and he does, he can park in any space in this lot, and so can you, nobody has to stay in a specific space”
“Well, obviously he doesn’t belong here!”
“Uh, why?”
“Because I’ve never seen him before tonight! And now he’s in my space!”
“I’ve never seen him before either, but he has a permit”
“Then it’s fake!”
“The permit is valid Sir, I see hundreds of these a day, and that’s a good one.”
“Obviously not! He’s in my space! Why won’t you help me?!”
“Because nothing is wrong here Sir, he has a permit, he can park anywhere in the lot, I can’t tow a car out of this lot that has a permit unless he blocks a dumpster or parks on the grass, I can even show you the line in my rulebook that spells it out.” At this point, I do pull out my rules binder and open it up to the page that deals with that lot, where it says in black and white. Permit vehicles allowed anywhere in lot, except on grass or blocking dumpster He looks at it, shakes his head and mutters something about “calling management in the morning” to get the guy with the phony permit out of his space. At that point, I’ve already wasted about 20 minutes, I have to get rolling, so I tell him to have a good night and drive off.
In retrospect, I realize what I SHOULD have said to him at that point
“Sir, I want you to take a deep breath, step back a few paces, and clear the area around you of any fragile objects, small animals and children, because what I’m about to tell you will quite probably blow your mind with the same force as a quarter stick of dynamite.
Have you ever heard of the concept of, “new tenant” ?”
*POP* Oh dear, the janitor will hate me for this one ….
I love to see if there will be an aftermath! I'm surprised ACME didn't throw an anvil at him.
For one bonus internets, name the Guard :P
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