I am your personal tutor

[jjllbb]

I process all of the job applications that come to my store. The company I work for stopped doing paper applications 4 years ago or so. Everyone applies online.

Not everyone is a computer whiz. Not a problem. More often than not I can offer some quick explanations when someone is having trouble filling the application out and the problem is solved.

What I can't do, is conduct a personal computer lesson for you because you don't know how to turn a computer on let alone fill out a job application online.

Yes I process the applications for the store. But I am not a one person call center. I have things to do. Things I need to complete in order to keep my own job. What I can't do is spend 25 minutes on the phone explaining certain things to you.

Some of those things would include:

- Where to type in the web address.
- What "Submit" means.
- What "Save and continue" means.
- "WHY!!" a red asterisk means you have to fill out that box.
- "WHY!!" the red asterisk isn't disappearing.

And even if I did have the time and the patience to hold your hand and essentially fill your job application out FOR YOU, if I had the choice, I wouldn't bother doing it at all because I know you're not getting hired anyway.

When you spend the ENTIRE 25 minutes complaining while I'm miraculously remaining polite and calm it is pretty clear you are not ideal for fostering a positive work atmosphere.

Having computer skills is NOT required to work for my company. We have a department supervisor who doesn't use computers. He doesn't know how to send an email but if you put him in front of a computer he doesn't complain, he figures it out.

Computer skills are not required but common sense and a positive attitude ARE.

What you need to do is find a friend because I work in retail, not computer science.

[Hyndis]

So, you're the help line for when people are having difficulty applying for a position at the company you work at?

Isn't part of the application process weeding out the morons? If they are too dumb to figure out how to use the application kiosk then they are too dumb for the job. And I've used those kiosks before. They're sometimes a little tedious but extremely easy to use. All of the instructions are on the screen in huge letters, with huge, easy to find buttons. Mr Magoo could read the screen.

If that is too complicated for someone to figure out, then they should not even be considered. Filling out an application (on paper or electronically) is part of the hiring process. Its a simple exercise in following instructions. Potentially employees who cannot follow those simple instructions probably shouldn't be hired.

[Falor]

Unfortunately for us they prefer to administer drug tests rather than cranial exams (to confirm the existence of a brain, of course). I keep telling my boss we should use an IQ test instead of a drug test, and weed out everyone with negative scores. Too bad that'd mean firing half my store. . .

[Exaspera]

They're too dumb to fill stuff in AND they're whiners. Would be awfully tempting to just cut them off in mid-call.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Gyeh.

Yeah, if you have a shitty attitude when dealing with the people who can determine your fate in a particular company, guess what? YOU AIN'T GETTIN' THAT JOB.

Whether you apply online (as with the OP) or with paper (as the wholesale club still does), don't cop an attitude with the people who work there. We once had this douchewaffle hand us his application on a busy weekend day and then angrily DEMAND to speak to a manager about his application IMMEDIATELY.

My ex-manager Mama Awesome was still at the store at the time, and IIRC, she was the one he ended up speaking to. They didn't speak for very long, and I know for a fact that he didn't get hired.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

So, you're the help line for when people are having difficulty applying for a position at the company you work at?

Isn't part of the application process weeding out the morons? If they are too dumb to figure out how to use the application kiosk then they are too dumb for the job. And I've used those kiosks before. They're sometimes a little tedious but extremely easy to use. All of the instructions are on the screen in huge letters, with huge, easy to find buttons. Mr Magoo could read the screen.

If that is too complicated for someone to figure out, then they should not even be considered. Filling out an application (on paper or electronically) is part of the hiring process. Its a simple exercise in following instructions. Potentially employees who cannot follow those simple instructions probably shouldn't be hired.

For some reason, this made me think of a scene from the first "Men In Black" movie, where Will Smith and the other applicants were sitting in those round chairs trying to fill out the forms. Will was the only one who tried to alter his enviornment to get the job done (by moving the table).

[tropicsgoddess]

I sure as hell wouldn't hire somebody that doesn't put in some effort into learning how to use the computer without expecting/demanding that an employee hold their hand the entire way. Some things yes, but the whole way for the computer application, HELL NO! That shows me lack of problem solving skills and wit.

[Teefies2]

[QUOTE=Hyndis;748207]

Mr Magoo could read the screen.


Your age is showing And I know this because, yes I too am old enough to know who Mr Magoo is.

[ravevolution]

We have those application kiosks at my job. Though we tell applicants its easier to just apply online via the companies website.

Sometimes we get someone who asks for a manager cause they put in a application and wanted to do a follow up. Typically my manager will speak with them or get their information. Most of the time when we ask our manager what happened, he will politely say they 'were not qualified enough' for the job and says it with a slight 'look' which really means 'they are too dumb for the job' lolz

[An Haddock]

Ugh... I can sympathize. Managing a computer store I see this all the time. People seem to think that since we're selling them a computer that we provide free support every time they don't know how to do something.

No. It doesn't work like that.

If you buy a car, the salesman might show you a few things, but you're expected to drive the car YOURSELF. You don't call the dealership as you're driving down the highway at night because you can't figure out how to turn on the headlights.

We're not completely heartless dicks, either. If someone has a question, we don't mind taking a moment to answer... but then you get the person who has never used a computer before and wants to know how to do EVERYTHING... send email, use Word, how to burn CD's... and at that point we tell them: either buy a book or you can pay us $40 per hour for training. Your choice.


I think I need to quit the computer business and just open a bait shop somewhere.

[OfficeSlug]

They're too dumb to fill stuff in AND they're whiners. Would be awfully tempting to just cut them off in mid-call.

Exactly.

If they're whining before they even GET the job, can you imagine the whinging that will follow when they have to DO stuff??

And 25 minutes of explanation means -- they can't follow directions.


"Sorry. NEXT!"

[JustaCashier]

I think I need to quit the computer business and just open a bait shop somewhere.

Can you show me how to bait a hook?
Can you show me how to tie a small knot good and tight, so that my line doesn't loosen up, and I don't lose my weights and lures?
Can you show me how to tie a fly?
Can you show me proper casting techniques?
Can you show me how to wind new line onto an empty reel, so that it doesn't go on all uneven and stuff?


Mike

[TonyDonuts]

Last year I was looking for people. I saw an application that looked all right, so I had my assistant manager (let's call him Jim*) interview him.

We talked about it the next day. As it turned out, the young man in question showed up in baggy shorts, a loose ratty tank top, and a near total inability to either sit still, or stay awake. We didn't hire him.

As it turned out, Jim was working when the young man sat down at our application kiosk, and then asked his girlfriend to fill in the application for him. Our application should take about 25-30 minutes to fill out. It took her almost an hour, since her boyfriend kept wandering away, and she would go find him to get specific answers for part of the test.

I then asked, "Wouldn't it have been better to say something, before I wasted my time calling him to set up an interview, and wasted your time interviewing him?" But that's a whole 'nother rant.

Anyway, we decided NOT to make use of this young man's services.

He called us the following week. He was all confused!

We hadn't hired him! I mean, he had shown up for the interview and everything.

I told him that if he couldn't be bothered to fill in his own job application, or stay awake through the damned interview, then I couldn't be bothered to hire him.

I spent about ten minutes explaining just what I meant by that, and he hung up, convinced that for all the effort and work he put into applying at my store, he deserved that job!

Good times.

__________________________________________________ __
*His real name is "Frank."

[Ironclad Alibi]

I think I need to quit the computer business and just open a bait shop somewhere.

Can you show me how to bait a hook?
Can you show me how to tie a small knot good and tight, so that my line doesn't loosen up, and I don't lose my weights and lures?
Can you show me how to tie a fly?
Can you show me proper casting techniques?
Can you show me how to wind new line onto an empty reel, so that it doesn't go on all uneven and stuff?

Can you show me how to clean a fish?
Can you show me how to get a hook out of my finger?
Can you show me the best place to fish?
Can you tell me if this fish is good to eat?
This rod and reel is defective. I didn't catch any fish with it. I want a refund.

[Mikkel]

Can you show me how to get a hook out of my finger?

No, no, it's "The hook you sold me is stuck in my finger, it must be defective, I demand a full refund and some free goodies."