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I was in the midst of a nice long post about my day today, but then the Fail at Internet known as Mozilla Firefox crashed and I don't feel like re-typing the whole felching thing. So this is all you're getting for now. 
In one of our ads this week, we have pictured a red, white and blue lawn chair. The top of the back is blue with white stars, and the bottom of the back and the seat is red and white straps. That way it looks like an American flag, geddit?
We also have this chair in other "summer-y" colors. However, all of them are on clearance and normal clearance rules apply: first come first served, when we're out we're out, we're not getting any more in, if you're not a raging dicktard we might be nice and try to locate the item at a different store, but generally speaking we're not going to go above and beyond just so you can snag a bargain. It also happens that we are out of the American flag chair, have been out for at least a couple weeks now, but we still have chairs in the summer-y colors available.
I swear I had the following conversation inflicted on me three times today:
SC: Some nincompoop
Me: Tee hee, I said "poop"
SC: Where are these lawn chairs? You know, the red white and blue ones in your flyer? (waves ad flier for reference).
Me: I'm sorry, we've been out of those chairs for a while now and we won't be getting any more in. We have them in other colors though, and for the same price.
SC: Why do you people keep putting things in your ads and then never having them in stock?! I don't want the chair in some other color! I want the red, white and blue chair! Like the one in your ad! I work too hard to be treated like this! I work too hard! I drive a Dodge Stratus!
Me: Somebody, please, drop an anvil on my head or something.
Frankly, with the way those things are made, they'll probably fall apart in a year or two. But the Fourth of July is coming up, and people are ginned up into a patriotic frenzy that can be sated only by beer, barbecues, exploding things and American flag lawn chairs, and they will have their American flag lawn chairs if they have to carry them home in my scrotum.
More to come on today. Later. Maybe. But right now it's booze o'clock.
In one of our ads this week, we have pictured a red, white and blue lawn chair. The top of the back is blue with white stars, and the bottom of the back and the seat is red and white straps. That way it looks like an American flag, geddit?
We also have this chair in other "summer-y" colors. However, all of them are on clearance and normal clearance rules apply: first come first served, when we're out we're out, we're not getting any more in, if you're not a raging dicktard we might be nice and try to locate the item at a different store, but generally speaking we're not going to go above and beyond just so you can snag a bargain. It also happens that we are out of the American flag chair, have been out for at least a couple weeks now, but we still have chairs in the summer-y colors available.
I swear I had the following conversation inflicted on me three times today:
SC: Some nincompoop
Me: Tee hee, I said "poop"
SC: Where are these lawn chairs? You know, the red white and blue ones in your flyer? (waves ad flier for reference).
Me: I'm sorry, we've been out of those chairs for a while now and we won't be getting any more in. We have them in other colors though, and for the same price.
SC: Why do you people keep putting things in your ads and then never having them in stock?! I don't want the chair in some other color! I want the red, white and blue chair! Like the one in your ad! I work too hard to be treated like this! I work too hard! I drive a Dodge Stratus!
Me: Somebody, please, drop an anvil on my head or something.
Frankly, with the way those things are made, they'll probably fall apart in a year or two. But the Fourth of July is coming up, and people are ginned up into a patriotic frenzy that can be sated only by beer, barbecues, exploding things and American flag lawn chairs, and they will have their American flag lawn chairs if they have to carry them home in my scrotum.
More to come on today. Later. Maybe. But right now it's booze o'clock.
Shocking, what is the world coming to 
.
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