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Quite often, we have customers/patients who come in to find that their prescription is being held up due to a problem with their insurance or because we're waiting to hear back from their doctor for any of a myriad of reasons. Our automated telephone system calls them up within an hour of the issue to inform the patient of the delay and implores them to contact the pharmacy to determine the nature of the issue. Usually, someone will come in days later and the issue is still unresolved. Their angry response? "YOU CALLED ME DAYS AGO AND SAID IT WAS READY!" or "THAT WAS TWO DAYS AGO! YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME WITH AN UPDATE!" To the former, I tell them that our automated system contacts them to inform them of a delay, but the message could be difficult to understand if they didn't hear all of it. To the latter, I point out that we are waiting for doctors to call back on about 80 prescriptions and waiting for insurance issues to clear up on about 75 prescriptions. Contacting all those patients for follow-up calls would require an additional staff member (at each of our over 7000 locations) and thus would raise the cost of our merchandise in the rest of the store. (It wouldn't raise their medication costs as most of these people are insured.)
That one turned out a bit longer than I expected, so I'll make up for it with a few quickies.
"Any part of your body that crosses this counter will be subject to removal."
On the phone: "Let's start with your name."
"I will not assist you unless you terminate your phone call. If you wish to conduct business while talking on your cell phone, I will have you sign a written contract indicating that we are not liable if your personal information is overheard."
"Your doctor gave you this prescription three months ago and now you want it filled in the next ten minutes so you can catch your flight that departs in forty-five minutes from the airport that is half an hour away? Yeah, and I want a functioning TARDIS."
"When I tell you the return of prescription medication is prohibited, asking for my manager won't make a diff-- what's that? My manager buckles more than Lulu's dress in Final Fantasy X? Fuck."
"It's awful nice that you suggest that we need more people, but district office just cut our hours by what amounts to two of our part-time staffers. If we go over budget on hours, both the pharmacy manager and store manager have been threatened with termination of employment."
"No, I don't want to hear the story about how your cat made you get diabetes...oh, you're going to tell me anyway?"
There are plenty more where that came from, but that's another story for another day.
That one turned out a bit longer than I expected, so I'll make up for it with a few quickies.
"Any part of your body that crosses this counter will be subject to removal."
On the phone: "Let's start with your name."
"I will not assist you unless you terminate your phone call. If you wish to conduct business while talking on your cell phone, I will have you sign a written contract indicating that we are not liable if your personal information is overheard."
"Your doctor gave you this prescription three months ago and now you want it filled in the next ten minutes so you can catch your flight that departs in forty-five minutes from the airport that is half an hour away? Yeah, and I want a functioning TARDIS."
"When I tell you the return of prescription medication is prohibited, asking for my manager won't make a diff-- what's that? My manager buckles more than Lulu's dress in Final Fantasy X? Fuck."
"It's awful nice that you suggest that we need more people, but district office just cut our hours by what amounts to two of our part-time staffers. If we go over budget on hours, both the pharmacy manager and store manager have been threatened with termination of employment."
"No, I don't want to hear the story about how your cat made you get diabetes...oh, you're going to tell me anyway?"
There are plenty more where that came from, but that's another story for another day.
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