My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard

[Ben_Who]

Certainly none taken by me. It's a big board and with a vast amount of posts it can be hard to read everything.

Rapscallion

Not that some of us haven't given it one hell of a college try...

--Love, Who?

[BookstoreEscapee]

But I guess I'm from a generation were the inability for a grown man to pull up his pants was still considered to be totally idiotic.

Coming from someone who's not yet 30 this made me laugh extra hard.

Ah. That didn't come up in my searches, so I'm very sorry for not thinking that through. I didn't really think about it that way because he says generally what some of the lines are, so I was like, "Wait, is HT calling him on, like, the after-hours emergency line or the pants catalogue line? Because those are some different kinds of crazy right there..."

GK is a man of many phone lines. I don't even try to keep 'em straight, especially knowing that he has some that have not been defined for us.

Half my callers are American, sadly. If not more. Many of our "big" client accounts are American. Don't think you guys are innocent in all this. Its just as much your fault as it is ours. >.>

I'm not quite willing to let Australia off the hook either.

Oh, so you're the one stealin' all our jorbs. Danm furriners..!

[Juggler]

I know that Canada has a lot of wilderness but BEARS IN VANCOUVER!!!!. If there are bears in a place that urban it means the zombie apocalypse is upon us.

Secondly, I thought that the RCMP were Canada's equivalent of the FBI.

[JustaCashier]

Oh, so you're the one stealin' all our jorbs. Danm furriners..!

Yeah!!

And I'll bet he speaks with one of them thick, impossible to understand, Canadian accents too!


Mike

[fireheart]

Half my callers are American, sadly. If not more. Many of our "big" client accounts are American. Don't think you guys are innocent in all this. Its just as much your fault as it is ours. >.>

I'm not quite willing to let Australia off the hook either.

Aww gee, it's nice to feel loved.

Also, I do promise we're not all like that.

Although I should mention, as I recall from one of MY threads, you did talk about pantsless Aussies. Guess who went without pants on a Friday night?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Yeah!!

And I'll bet he speaks with one of them thick, impossible to understand, Canadian accents too!


Mike

eh?

........

[hinakiba777]

Yeah!!

And I'll bet he speaks with one of them thick, impossible to understand, Canadian accents too!


Mike

Haha!

It actually took me two years to convince an American friend of mine that I don't say "A-boot". I finally just called him and told him that I prounounce about properly. It wasn't until this moment that I learned my Caper accent caused me to prounounce the word "A-boat".

My accent really amuses people. Which is why I learned to hide it. But if I get nervous, it gets thicker. One time I couldn't even understand myself.

[Magpie]

I know that Canada has a lot of wilderness but BEARS IN VANCOUVER!!!!. If there are bears in a place that urban it means the zombie apocalypse is upon us.

There are places that, by Canadian standards at least, are urban, that do get bears. But they tend to be further north, it's not in the centre of the city, and it's very rare. Most cities don't get anything bigger than deer. The biggest predators tend to be wolf/coyote hybrids.

Secondly, I thought that the RCMP were Canada's equivalent of the FBI.

As I understand the FBI they're not quite the same. In most places (by number of provinces, not by population) there is no provincial police force, so the RCMP patrols highways, and provides police services where there isn't a municipal police force. They also deal with most drug and terrorism cases, but that's more because those tend to be widespread cases, and the OPP, for example, wouldn't take a case that is Ontario and Quebec both. Basically, the RCMP are a regular police force, but at a national level. Oh, and it's their job to stand around in pretty clothes for the tourists to take pictures of. (My grandfather worked with them, most aren't fond of having to stand around in dress uniform).

[Jester]

Me: “What’s the problem?
SC: “There’s a bear.”

Remember, you don't have to be faster than the bear.

You just have to be faster than the guy behind you.

SC: “Yes, you have a flagger out at <road work site> flagging!”
Me: “Alright?”
SC: “And he’s wearing SHORTS!”
Me: “……….I’m sorry?”
SC: “He’s wearing shorts!”
Me: “……..alright?”
SC: “That’s against the dress code!”

Am I the only one that thought the woman sounded just as shocked that a flagger was flagging as that he was wearing shorts? "How dare he do what he is being paid to do, that scoundrel!" She must be with the government accounting office or something.

As for the whole shorts thing....it's summer. Even in Canada, it's the middle of summer. Which means it's hot. Construction is especially hot work. Since, you know, they don't get the luxury of air conditioning. And this ass scratch of a woman has the nerve to be mad that the dude is wearing shorts? First of all, how the hell does she know what construction crews' dress code are? Secondly, why does it matter to her? Are they really short, tight shorts, showing off his manhood to the passing motorists? Good! They deserve some scenery, as driving can be very dull. Especially at 5 am. But just a guess, from my experience passing 800 million construction crews while driving: they were just shorts. Probably denim cutoffs. Comfortable, not lewd, not revealing, and that's about it. But this crotch rot busybody just had to bitch about it.

Lady, there are thousands of things more worthy of your wrath and ire than some road crew flagger not conforming to some imaginary construction dress code you have in your head. Don't EVEN get me started on that list.

Me: “Alright, what size?”
SC: “Medium”
Me: “I’m afraid I only have it in small.”
SC: “I’ll take it.”

Sure, just a bit snug, that’s all.

This can be defensible.

For example, I am technically a medium when it comes to t-shirts. I buy my t-shirts in large, however. Why? Because mediums tend to fit me really well, and I don't like them that snug. Larges tend to be loose and flowing and breathing, and that's how I like my t-shirts to fit. So while I CAN wear a medium, I generally DON'T. If it's the only way I am going to get a t-shirt I like, though, sometimes I will get a medium. For example, when my Neighborhood Watering Hole just closed down, the only t-shirt sizes they had left were medium, small, or XXL. I can wear a medium, small would be ridiculous, and I would drown in a double X. So I took the medium, which I am coincidentally wearing now.

The rest of the call, however, is completely indefensible.

Me: “Alright, I have a call here for you from Constable <Name>”
OC: “What does he want?!”
Me: “He needs access to your building to respond to a 911 call.”
OC: “Well tell him to call a locksmith!”

This is beyond stupid. This is even beyond stoopidd. Yes, I'd like to piss off the local police force by not complying with their basic need to get into a building from which there was an emergency call.

This is not just a lazy landlord, this is a person who is by their actions--or rather, inaction--potentially endangering their tenants.

I don't know about Canada, but in many if not all parts of the U.S., it is against the law to impede the actions of law enforcement personnel when they are attempting to perform their duties. Now, I don't know if this particular situation would qualify, but it seems to me that if they cops were responding legally to a valid 911 call and this wretched excuse for a person were refusing to lift a finger to help them so respond, this could be grounds for arrest. Maybe, maybe not.

Either way, I sure as hell wouldn't want to live in their building!

OC: “Then why can’t who ever called them let them in?!”

911 call. Chances are good that the caller is in some way incapacitated. Heart attack, stroke, swallowed a Twinkie the wrong way, or maybe they are having a pool cue shoved up their ass by a disgruntled former tenant. Just a few possibilities.

You may not have a shred of respect for the uniform, but I do and I prefer to keep my statements within the realm of “Yes, sir”, “No, sir” and “Thank you, sir”.

I agree with that, as I too tend to use a very polite and very limited vocabulary with cops. "Yes, sir." "Yes, ma'am." "No, sir." "No, ma'am." Etc.

Cops are in my top five list of people I don't want to piss off, along with my employer, judges, my landlord, and bouncers at bars I am drinking at.

Usually the officers are nice enough to spare me vivid detail. But sometimes they delight in cheerfully filling me in. Though I think the worst was still the one where they called in for the body. Then called back a few hours later to inform us they found more of the body.

You can tell I read a lot of true crime and watch a lot of forensics shows on tv, both fictional and true life, by the fact that that little tidbit not only didn't phase me, it didn't even surprise me.

they found... more.... of the body???

See? Most people would have the above reaction. Me? "Yep....I can see that."

This all typed while I am happily eating my lunch.

You know, the Mythbusters did something like that, only it was a dead pig, wrapped in a blanket, left in a sealed car... When finally twas opened, the pig runneth out the door... no, literally... "Dead pig stew, anyone?"

I remember that one. Very gross. Worst use ever for a Corvette, as I recall.

Of course not. I'm just NDA'd is all.

What the hell does "NDA'd" mean??!?!?!?!

My accent really amuses people. Which is why I learned to hide it. But if I get nervous, it gets thicker. One time I couldn't even understand myself.

I actually had this happen to me, but not with my own accent.

See, I have a nice ability that I can imitate almost any accent I hear, and if I am surrounded by a particular accent, often enough I start picking it up without even realizing it.

Many years ago, I spent a month or so in New Orleans, and one day I was getting a cab ride home from a bar after having imbibed more than my fair share. I started talking to the cabbie, who had a thick Cajun accent. And of course, I started to pick up his accent. By the end of the cab ride, not only could I not understand what HE was saying, I couldn't really understand what *I* was saying, either!

[dalesys]

...What the hell does "NDA'd" mean??!?!?!?!

Non-Disclosure Agreement.

[Jester]

Oh. Yeah. Duh.

[Gravekeeper]

Non-Disclosure Agreement.

Indeed. It sounds more pleasant then "Talk and Get Fired Agreement".

We handle a multitude of sensitive to exquisitely sensitive information for clients. So we're all NDA'd. You're not even allowed to have paper or a pen in the office.

[Ironclad Alibi]

There are places that, by Canadian standards at least, are urban, that do get bears. But they tend to be further north, it's not in the centre of the city, and it's very rare. Most cities don't get anything bigger than deer. The biggest predators tend to be wolf/coyote hybrids.

We frequently get bears inside the beltway around Washington, DC. We have even had a mountain lion or two. I guess they're after the deer that wander through.

[Pagan]

I know that Canada has a lot of wilderness but BEARS IN VANCOUVER!!!!. If there are bears in a place that urban it means the zombie apocalypse is upon us.

There are places that, by Canadian standards at least, are urban, that do get bears. But they tend to be further north, it's not in the centre of the city, and it's very rare. Most cities don't get anything bigger than deer. The biggest predators tend to be wolf/coyote hybrids.

We frequently get bears inside the beltway around Washington, DC. We have even had a mountain lion or two. I guess they're after the deer that wander through.

We get bears here on a regular basis. Had one running down the streets in the Northeast Heights one time and that's quite a ways into the city. Hell, there was one that wandered into the lobby at Pres Urgent care in Rio Rancho a few years ago. The video was hilarious.

And we get mountain lions a lot, too.

I see coyotes around my area on occasion, but I hear the pack that runs in Corrales a lot.

Are they really short, tight shorts, showing off his manhood to the passing motorists? Good! They deserve some scenery, as driving can be very dull.

Like the construction worker from the Village People?

[Jester]

Like the construction worker from the Village People?

Precisely!