How not to get Luigi'd... (language)

[Tama]

Get that reference.

My posts will be full of 'em.


These things just keep piling up, just keep pissing me off, more and more and more.

Please, for heaven's sake..

STOP piling lots of frozen shit into a paper bag and then giving me the stink-eye when I have to upend the bag to scan the items. I CAN'T just scan the bag and then as a result, everything in the bag is checked.

I am not magic.

STOP ASKING ME IF I'M OPEN!!!!!

I will shoot you in the face! (Not really)

My light is on. I am standing there. Yes, fucker, I am open!

"Well, my light is on...so..."

I don't care that it makes you feel stupid.

Stop.

Stop putting a box of diapers on the belt and then piling shit on top of it.

And when you see me taking some of the things off, don't also keep piling MORE stuff on top of it!

Jesus, lord, protector of all that is good and holy...

Deliver me from fat people in short pants. Not entirely sucky...but I was nearly sick!

Dear madam:

When your ass gets so big it looks like two giant watermelons have been shoved in your pants, you need to do something about it.

If I have to suffer, so do you all!

I was almost sick...


Heads will roll!

This was the only good part of the day.

Girl with tattoos comes through my line. I get a stray glance at the one on her right arm, it looked robotic, so I ask, "Is that a gundam?"

"Oh, no! That's Optimus Prime. I'm pissed off, though, they got his head the wrong color!"

Yay! Nerd girls unite!

[EvilEmpryss]

Dear madam:
When your ass gets so big it looks like two giant watermelons have been shoved in your pants, you need to do something about it.

Even worse is when they're so fat that their belly laps waaaay down in front and bulges into two swollen lobes......

And they're wearing a shirt that only barely reaches to their distended belly button, leaving everything else sticking out......

All the way down to their knees.

[Exaspera]

Some folks don't realize that just because something is in style, doesn't mean they can wear it. :-p

[jjc927]

I get people all the time asking me if I'm open also even though my light is clearly on and I'm standing there. And of course when I close for a break or to leave, I get people asking if I'm open or just waltzing up to my line.

[Imogene]

"Y'all open?" Ah, the mating cry of the late night shopper... we get those in droves whenever I work...
M: "Are you in the store?"
"Yeah?"
M: "You seem unsure, would you like to retry, restart, or abort?"
"Whut?"
M: "Again, you're in the store, use that brain of yours, I know it will hurt for a bit... but what do you THINK the answer is?" (Hell, I frequently use my brain, and it still hurts... usually a few minutes after I realize a thought escaped...)

[LillFilly]

How do you get Optimus Prime's head the WRONG COLOR!?!

[Zellie Crescent]

Sorry about your shitty day. Is the Luigi thing from Super Mario Bros. by any chance? Sorry, gamer nerd.

[NorthernZel]

Even worse is when they're so fat that their belly laps waaaay down in front and bulges into two swollen lobes......

And they're wearing a shirt that only barely reaches to their distended belly button, leaving everything else sticking out......

All the way down to their knees.

I can beat that.

On my way home after picking Lil' Zel up from daycare, we stopped by our local drugstore to buy a Coke and a cocoa milk.

When we lined up to pay, in front of us was a ... lady... who was approx. my height and size (5'7" and 225 lbs), wearing a tiny little red tanktop which barely hid her bra, and....


... wait for it ....



... a set of pink tartan hipsters.

Not pink camo, no. Friggin PINK TARTAN!!! Oh the humanity!

[Sapphire Silk]

I can beat that.



Not pink camo, no. Friggin PINK TARTAN!!! Oh the humanity!

I think I can beat even this:

A couple of weeks ago, I was in my local golden arches when two morbidly obese women came to the counter to order. I was behind them in line. One wore a camasole and a pair of shorts that were way too small . . . and no bra. Her tits hung down to where her belly fat roll bulged out over her shorts. Her hair was long, blond, tangled, and dirty. The other woman was shorter, less physically repulsive . . . until she started kissing the fatter woman in line, in full view of everyone!



Gah. I'm not sure I can go back to that mickeyd's.

[EvilEmpryss]

I can top the pink tartan...... You'll need this

A woman so large wearing a string bikini so small that all that could be seen were the indents in her flesh from the strings. Her breasts sort of folded under themselves so even the little triangles didn't show.

Oh, and she was sweating in the middle of a hot California summer, so she looked shiny.

Saw this in Los Angeles when I was a kid. Couldn't bring myself to wear a bikini after that, even when I had the figure to look good in one.

[Mana]

Okay yeah so habitual lurker mode has been broken because I had to say this.

Yay Repo! Love <3

[morgana]

I think I'd actually take pink camo over what I saw the other day.

Girl in tee shirt. Camo tee shirt. Not pink, regular jungle green camo. With red sequins.

On the other hand, that's really tame compared to a couple of y'alls . . .

[EvilEmpryss]

"I want to tell you something. You know, this whole camouflage thing for me doesn't work very well. Why is that? Well, because you go in the jungle, I can't see you. You know, it's like wearing stripes and plaid. For me, I want to do something different. You know, you go in the jungle, make a statement. If you're going to fight, clash!"

[Tama]

Nope...not that Luigi.

A Luigi who might stab you.

Think, think...

[infinitemonkies]

I don't know why they even make bicycle shorts in Large, XL, and god help us all, XXL sizes. Nothing good ever came from it, nor for that matter went into it.

General guideline: If your waist size is 44" - 48", or even larger, and you are less than 8 feet tall, spandex is not your friend.