I hate you too, now...

[Imogene]

Had one of my regulars in tonight, after she had just gotten back from a 12 hour drive... I guess her and the family took a trip, and that's why she's been absent for the past few weeks...? Anyway, she got me to talking about my plans to move to North Carolina, and such, and something about the way she reacted to it tweaked me entirely wrong...

I forget how it got to this point, but I finally just told her my secrets...
M: "I'm not straight, I'm not human, and I don't consider myself male..."
H: "What?"
M: "Everything's so fluid now since the stroke... don't believe in permanence, in short..."
H: "You obviously haven't found yourself yet. Moving in with a friend in wherever, even if he's not going to be charging you rent, is basically trading one dependency (parents) for another (friend)..."
What? Dependence on someone who has offered me a place to stay and a chance to actually BE MYSELF? How is that "You haven't found yourself yet..."? Oh, wait, could it be because we're in Texas, and she's actually a massive bigot? And has just hidden it really well until now?
H: "You should get an apartment in this complex just down the street, it's cheap, you could walk to work, and it'll make you feel better about yourself."
WHAT? The HELL are you smoking?

[smileyeagle1021]

Oh, the people I hate with as much passion as you must have for her right now is when I'm at the hotel making small talk with the guests, and they ask, "so you have a girlfriend" and I respond "well not exactly, I am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend now" (I now say my fiance and they drop it because they wouldn't assume anything other than a girl and they respond "oh... well, don't worry, you just need to find the right woman to fix that"
Umm, how to put this gently, FUCK YOU!
I love my fiance very much, he loves me, and no, it won't take the right woman, I've been there and done that... I went so far as to be rebaptized into a new church and began online group therapy to overcome this "sickness" and after 4 years of punishing myself I realized the reason I wasn't getting "better" was because I wasn't sick to begin with. Now take your key and your self righteousness and get the fuck out of my lobby.

[sweetj82]

a friend of mine(Male) just got his first boyfriend. He is very happy....i have never seen him happier.

when some of his regulars found out. they wont shop at the store he is the manager at anymore. Someone even called the owners up and told them if they ever wanna see her anymore they should get rid of him.

Awesome owner lady said something like we dont need customers like you anyway. L is good at his job and is welcome to stay as long as he wants

[smileyeagle1021]

sweetj82, for some reason that reminded me of a time when I was working at Longs. I was talking with a coworker about another coworker who was an out gay man... who kept complaining about the mother of his child.
I was asking her how that came to be.
She responded "it was a one night fling, he wanted to know what it was like being with a woman"
A customer who had just walked up chimed in "well, I would hope so"
Coworker said "This guy's gay though"
Customer's response "oh, he may think so now, but he'll come around... which employee is it, I think I may know someone who can help"
Yeah, we refused to tell her, she complained to the manager, and he told her to get a life.

[Imogene]

This regular is the one who first got on my case for not carding her every time she comes in, no matter that I know she's over 40, and I don't need to card her now... Next time, I'm not even going to look at her, she's getting overridden... immediate and remorselessly...

[CaptainThrifty]

Maybe I am lacking all the context of the conversation from your post, however, given only the post I can see the other person's point of trading one type of dependence for another. I am currently having to deal with a young lady who is doing that now and working with her to get her independent.

And I probably would have had some kind of reaction to the not human part. The not male part would depend upon how male you actually seemed. Not straight...eh, no sweat off my back.

But as I said, I'm probably lacking some of the context.

[Imogene]

Not human= I'm furry, to a degree, that's really all there is to it.
Not male= currently, it's the occasional bout with makeup due to limiting factors in my life... however, I feel and act feminine most of the time.

[Sleepwalker]

I'd probably have reacted to the not human thing, too. I don't know how much you talked to her before then- if someone doesn't know anything about furries, just dropping that statement would be kinda scary/weird.

[Hyena Dandy]

Yeah, honestly, it does seem kinda weird, particularly if there's no context. I would have been surprised for a moment too, then I would have guessed what you meant.

She was probably just confused. or something.

[EvilEmpryss]

Juwl, only you can decide where you need to live to be comfortable being you, but a word of caution: North Carolina might not be the best place for you unless you're planning to move to Raleigh or Charlotte. Bigotry and prejudice run deep here, especially in the small, country towns (I'm from California, so I was raised with a more diverse population). I have seen a man dressed as a woman be refused service at a restaurant in Greensboro. If you look up psychologists by specialty, GBLT issues is the number one most common focus, even above substance abuse. That's because the pressure from society just makes it really difficult for them, and they have to seek therapy to deal with it. You will have people pushing Jesus in your face trying to "cure" you. Virginia isn't much better, as they just passed a law invalidating any out-of-state marriages in order to prevent GBLTs from going to other states to get married and coming back to VA to live and claim benefits.

I truly hope the best for you, and having someone to help you who understands you will make it easier, but I'm getting out of this state as soon as the family has the money to sell the house and go. It may be known as the Tar Heel state, but we see it more as the 'tard heels.

[Aethian]

Same with areas in Michigan. I hate to say it but while Kalamazoo acts open there is a lot of hiding.

[malmalthekiller]

Same with areas in Michigan. I hate to say it but while Kalamazoo acts open there is a lot of hiding.

I agree with you there. My best friend is from Royal Oak, and she is of Mexican decent. Just to clarify, her mother is Mexican and her father is white, she is actually quite pale but has dark hair and eyes. To me, she doesn't really even look Mexican. I remember she told me she was running in track when she was in high school, and someone was running by her and yelled "SPIC" and tripped her.

My small home town in the Poconos is quite similar, I'm afraid.

[Magpie]

If you look up psychologists by specialty, GBLT issues is the number one most common focus, even above substance abuse. That's because the pressure from society just makes it really difficult for them, and they have to seek therapy to deal with it.

Out of curiosity, how many of them are still back in the '70s, when the DSM listed homosexuality? i.e. GBLT issues means "we will try to make you straight using science instead of just prayer".

[Imogene]

North Carolina might not be the best place for you unless you're planning to move to Raleigh or Charlotte.

Friend lives in Mount Airy... not really sure how accepting that is... but he wasn't born there, either, he's Californian as well...

[Sapphire Silk]

Out of curiosity, how many of them are still back in the '70s, when the DSM listed homosexuality? i.e. GBLT issues means "we will try to make you straight using science instead of just prayer".

The professionals, by and large, are just that. Professional. Modern psychology and psychiatriy do not regard homosexuality as a mental illness, and take gender identity issues seriously.

But there are some "therapists" who are really pushing religion dressed up as science. Basically, you need to do your research when choosing a therapist, no matter where you live.

But EE is right that North Carolina is extremely conservative, and you will meet people who will try to push Jesus in your face when they find out about your transgender situation.

I wish you the very best