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"I want a good-looking waitress!"

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  • "I want a good-looking waitress!"

    This happened when I worked at a club as a steward. I was in charge of checking if the people coming in had a valid membership card, and of helping those who didn't to apply for one.

    Now, that club had a fame for employing good looking waitresses. Fame that was, in my personal opinion, well deserved.
    At a certain point, the management started hiring male waiters as well. One of which happened to be homosexual. Note that I mention this because it is important in the story.

    Characters:
    Me: the guy at the door having a hard time already
    Dude: one of the typical "cool" guys who need continuous validation of their "coolness". Comes with a bunch of equally "cool" friends. I had seen him probably twice until then
    Waiter: the homosexual waiter mentioned above. A guy with an amazing sense of humour
    Boss: the owner of the club

    Me: "...OK, all your cards are fine, have fun tonight!"
    Dude: "Yeah, well... can you tell me which tables the [expletive for "good looking"] waitresses are serving?"
    Me (not impressed by the guy's attitude): "I suggest that you sit at the bar, have a drink and decide where to sit"
    Dude: "But there is that [expletive for "homosexual male"] serving at the bar"
    I stare at them, not reacting.
    Dude: "Hey, man, don't tell me that you like [expletive for "homosexual male"]s!"
    Me: "This is none of your business, please get in the club. Or out of it. You are blocking the door"
    Dude: "I am reporting your attitude to the management!"
    Me: "Please feel free to do so, the manager is that tall man standing behind the bar"

    "Dude" walks towards the bar, waving at the manager.
    "Waiter" comes towards me.

    Waiter: "He was staring at me. Anything wrong?"
    Me: "Anti-homosexual stuff. The guy is a [expletive]"
    Waiter: "Wait and see" (winks)

    Boss: "Hey. That guy complained that you had an aggressive attitude. What happened?"
    Me: "Well, some anti-homosexual slander and stuff, not too confrontational really"
    Boss: "OK, I believe you. Against *Waiter*?"
    Me: "Yep"

    Boss and Waiter walk around the club talking to all the waitresses. Minutes later, I see Dude waving at a waitress. Who ignores him. Second waitress. She also ignores him. Third waitress... you understand where this is going.

    Finally, the waiter that they had been trying to avoid approaches them putting up a "drag queen with no drags" show only for their benefit (note that it was NOT his normal behaviour, he was putting up a scene only for them). I see them blushing, I see him flirting with Dude... I see Dude leaving the club, still red in his face, with his "friends" giggling at him.

    Boss and Waiter approach me.
    Boss: "Well done for how you dealt with him by the way" [yes, he was a great boss. A bit cheap, but still awesome]
    Waiter: "And thanks for the best laugh yet this year"
    FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC

    You're not a unique snowflake unless you create your own mould (Raps)

    ***GK, Sarcastro, Lupo, LingualMonkey, BookBint, Jester, Irv, Hero & Marlowe fan***

  • #2
    Win. Big old win.
    Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

    Comment


    • #3
      Wow. That is so full of win.

      I should steal that idea for work.
      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

      Now queen of USSR-Land...

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      • #4
        Well, I wouldn't have minded as long as he was a good looking waiter! But that's just me . Glad you gave those guys their come-uppance!
        "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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        • #5
          That. Is. Awesome.
          "So, let's build a snowman! We can make him our best friend. We can name him Bob or we can name him Beowulf! We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall!"

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          • #6
            First thought that came to mind when I saw the title was "And I am sure they want a customer with a brain. Too bad we can't always get what we want." but the story was full of so much win.
            Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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            • #7
              OH that is so much win it makes me teeth hurt!
              Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

              Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
              Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

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              • #8
                Was he - and the other waiters - eye candy?

                I don't mind which orientation my eye candy is. I know I'm not taking them home. (Unless it's eye candy I happen to be married to.)
                Seshat's self-help guide:
                1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Seshat View Post
                  (Unless it's eye candy I happen to be married to.)
                  Which makes it ARM candy? ^-^
                  Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

                  Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
                  Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Seshat View Post
                    I don't mind which orientation my eye candy is. I know I'm not taking them home. (Unless it's eye candy I happen to be married to.)
                    This. I've been out of the dating scene for well over a decade, and my social skills aren't the sweetest and most polished to begin with, so I probably couldn't catch one to take home any way, but I like to look.

                    And your boss is awesome!
                    Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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                    • #11
                      As long as the waiter/waitress will bring me the food/drinks I order in a timely manner I don't care what they look like or who they sleep with!

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                      • #12
                        Thanks everybody! Yes, the Boss is great. It wasn't always 100% smooth going with him, but always fair and with a huge sense of humour. And the bands he hired to play on live music nights were mostly really good.
                        Quoth Seshat View Post
                        Was he - and the other waiters - eye candy?
                        I don't mind which orientation my eye candy is. I know I'm not taking them home. (Unless it's eye candy I happen to be married to.)
                        Well, my opinion on men for what concerns looks is apparently quite odd, as both my wife and my sister can say.
                        Personally, I think that most of the guys were also quite good looking. Not this specific guy, though. A bit of a long face, slightly too skinny to be really attractive... mind, absolutely an ace guy and a good friend... but then again, I have never been interested in guys.
                        Quoth EvilEmpryss View Post
                        This. I've been out of the dating scene for well over a decade, and my social skills aren't the sweetest and most polished to begin with, so I probably couldn't catch one to take home any way, but I like to look.
                        Probably those guys fancied themselves as big heart-throbs or something... too bad that I am absolutely positive that they wouldn't have stood the slightest chance with any of our female waitresses. Or with the waiters, either.
                        Quoth EvilEmpryss View Post
                        And your boss is awesome!
                        I am missing him and that place. Not necessarily the job, but the people, for sure.
                        One more story about that place coming.
                        FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC

                        You're not a unique snowflake unless you create your own mould (Raps)

                        ***GK, Sarcastro, Lupo, LingualMonkey, BookBint, Jester, Irv, Hero & Marlowe fan***

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You all hit a homo-run. :-)
                          "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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                          • #14

                            Waiter and the boss handled that one masterfully.
                            I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                            Who is John Galt?
                            -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Seshat View Post
                              I don't mind which orientation my eye candy is. I know I'm not taking them home. (Unless it's eye candy I happen to be married to.)
                              True story; I go to a lot of gay bars. I get hassled less and they have better TVs (and awesome dance music). I thought the bartender I oogled relentlessly was gay until his girlfriend came in the bar one night.

                              I still oogle him to this day. In fact, its been a while since I've been to that bar, might be time to go back and oogle some more (with appropriate tips).
                              Thou shalt not take the name of thy goddess Whiskey in vain.

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