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So I think I had one nice customer all day today. Just one. And she was only nice because all she wanted was a pre-made ice cream that we had in stock.
Tale 1- The Turtle isn't here
A turtle sundae is a sundae with caramel, hot fudge, and pecans on it. There are only two things we serve with anything 'Turtle' in the title. A blizzard and a waffle bowl sundae. Woman comes in and DEMANDS a turtle sundae.
SC: I NEED a small Turtle sundae, extra pecans and whipped cream.
Me: Did you mean a waffle bowl sundae ma'am?
SC: Are you new?! NO! I want a regular small turtle sundae!
Me: I can make a sundae like that for you ma'am however it will be extra for the additional toppings as sundaes only come with one topping.
and nothing you can say is going to make me want to help you out you raging horsebeast unless it involves 'please my benevolent Mistress' and much groveling
Cue the raging and foaming at the mouth. She demands to speak with my manager. Manager tells her the same thing I did. Meanwhile she's holding up the line. People are getting antsy behind her. She then demands to speak with the owner since apparently he's oh-so-willing to roll over and lose money because she snapped her finger. He wasn't. She threw something, stomped her foot (not making this up) and left threatening to sue.
Over about $1.
I hate tweens
you know that age where they're not quite little kids but not teens either? yeah. They bug me. Why? because they aren't cute and grateful like little kids (I serve ice cream I am the bestest person EVER!!! to little kids). But they never know exactly how much money they have (unlike teens who can tell you how much they've got down to the penny) and always order more than they can pay for. Why? To look 'cool'.
Sorry short stop having to call mommy or daddy to bring you another dollar because I won't give you your super-jumbo loaded sprinkle cone from hell unless you can pay for it isn't cool. Making me wait while said demon cone melts on my arm is even less so.
I wish you fiery ice-cream-less hell, where I personally shall devour tasty treats before you for all eternity. Then make you clean my shoes. your damned cone dripped on them.
Machines are the enemy
Chocolate blew up on me today. There was a lovely SK shaped silhouette of where I was standing when it blew.
Know what it is you want
Me: Hi what can I get for you?
SC: Uh.... um.... *blank look and drool*
Gravekeeper you customers are escaping and I don't want to deal with them in person.
I am not on the menu
Me: Will there be anything else this evening sir?
SC: your phone number.
Me: Nice try sir, but no.
SC: Well you have to give it to me, I asked for it and you're getting paid to wait on me.
Me: I'm getting paid to serve you ice cream sir not to serve you my personal information. Anything else I can get you that's ice cream related?
SC: Well if you'd give me your number I'll take you out to a real ice cream place and I'd happily pay if it means I could see if the carpet matches the drapes.
Me: Annnnd I'm done. Sir this gentleman is going to wait on you while I go call the cops since you're now sexually harassing me.
SC: you LITTLE REDHEADED BITCH!! HOW DARE you SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT GINGER-SLUT!!
Me: thank you for screaming that sir since the police operator heard it and we have to ask you not to leave until the police show up.
SC: *foaming at the mouth screaming rage*
The idiot was too dumb to leave before the cops showed up. He did however pay for his ice cream before he went to ride away with the nice officers. One of whom was my aunt's father-in-law. I decided not to press charges since Mr. Officer scared him worse than any lawsuit ever could. yeah, having a giant black man look at the woman you were harassing and going 'what happened baby girl?' followed by 'why didn't you deck him?' and 'you messed with the wrong red-head nancy boy' is apparently terrifying.
Tale 1- The Turtle isn't here
A turtle sundae is a sundae with caramel, hot fudge, and pecans on it. There are only two things we serve with anything 'Turtle' in the title. A blizzard and a waffle bowl sundae. Woman comes in and DEMANDS a turtle sundae.
SC: I NEED a small Turtle sundae, extra pecans and whipped cream.
Me: Did you mean a waffle bowl sundae ma'am?
SC: Are you new?! NO! I want a regular small turtle sundae!
Me: I can make a sundae like that for you ma'am however it will be extra for the additional toppings as sundaes only come with one topping.
and nothing you can say is going to make me want to help you out you raging horsebeast unless it involves 'please my benevolent Mistress' and much groveling
Cue the raging and foaming at the mouth. She demands to speak with my manager. Manager tells her the same thing I did. Meanwhile she's holding up the line. People are getting antsy behind her. She then demands to speak with the owner since apparently he's oh-so-willing to roll over and lose money because she snapped her finger. He wasn't. She threw something, stomped her foot (not making this up) and left threatening to sue.
Over about $1.
I hate tweens
you know that age where they're not quite little kids but not teens either? yeah. They bug me. Why? because they aren't cute and grateful like little kids (I serve ice cream I am the bestest person EVER!!! to little kids). But they never know exactly how much money they have (unlike teens who can tell you how much they've got down to the penny) and always order more than they can pay for. Why? To look 'cool'.
Sorry short stop having to call mommy or daddy to bring you another dollar because I won't give you your super-jumbo loaded sprinkle cone from hell unless you can pay for it isn't cool. Making me wait while said demon cone melts on my arm is even less so.
I wish you fiery ice-cream-less hell, where I personally shall devour tasty treats before you for all eternity. Then make you clean my shoes. your damned cone dripped on them.
Machines are the enemy
Chocolate blew up on me today. There was a lovely SK shaped silhouette of where I was standing when it blew.
Know what it is you want
Me: Hi what can I get for you?
SC: Uh.... um.... *blank look and drool*
Gravekeeper you customers are escaping and I don't want to deal with them in person.
I am not on the menu
Me: Will there be anything else this evening sir?
SC: your phone number.
Me: Nice try sir, but no.
SC: Well you have to give it to me, I asked for it and you're getting paid to wait on me.
Me: I'm getting paid to serve you ice cream sir not to serve you my personal information. Anything else I can get you that's ice cream related?
SC: Well if you'd give me your number I'll take you out to a real ice cream place and I'd happily pay if it means I could see if the carpet matches the drapes.
Me: Annnnd I'm done. Sir this gentleman is going to wait on you while I go call the cops since you're now sexually harassing me.
SC: you LITTLE REDHEADED BITCH!! HOW DARE you SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT GINGER-SLUT!!
Me: thank you for screaming that sir since the police operator heard it and we have to ask you not to leave until the police show up.
SC: *foaming at the mouth screaming rage*
The idiot was too dumb to leave before the cops showed up. He did however pay for his ice cream before he went to ride away with the nice officers. One of whom was my aunt's father-in-law. I decided not to press charges since Mr. Officer scared him worse than any lawsuit ever could. yeah, having a giant black man look at the woman you were harassing and going 'what happened baby girl?' followed by 'why didn't you deck him?' and 'you messed with the wrong red-head nancy boy' is apparently terrifying.
Those doggies know I give ear rubs and treats and their handlers like me.
I AM the evil bastard!
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