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My day today: Now with Police intervention!

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  • My day today: Now with Police intervention!

    So I think I had one nice customer all day today. Just one. And she was only nice because all she wanted was a pre-made ice cream that we had in stock.

    Tale 1- The Turtle isn't here

    A turtle sundae is a sundae with caramel, hot fudge, and pecans on it. There are only two things we serve with anything 'Turtle' in the title. A blizzard and a waffle bowl sundae. Woman comes in and DEMANDS a turtle sundae.

    SC: I NEED a small Turtle sundae, extra pecans and whipped cream.
    Me: Did you mean a waffle bowl sundae ma'am?
    SC: Are you new?! NO! I want a regular small turtle sundae!
    Me: I can make a sundae like that for you ma'am however it will be extra for the additional toppings as sundaes only come with one topping.

    and nothing you can say is going to make me want to help you out you raging horsebeast unless it involves 'please my benevolent Mistress' and much groveling

    Cue the raging and foaming at the mouth. She demands to speak with my manager. Manager tells her the same thing I did. Meanwhile she's holding up the line. People are getting antsy behind her. She then demands to speak with the owner since apparently he's oh-so-willing to roll over and lose money because she snapped her finger. He wasn't. She threw something, stomped her foot (not making this up) and left threatening to sue.

    Over about $1.


    I hate tweens

    you know that age where they're not quite little kids but not teens either? yeah. They bug me. Why? because they aren't cute and grateful like little kids (I serve ice cream I am the bestest person EVER!!! to little kids). But they never know exactly how much money they have (unlike teens who can tell you how much they've got down to the penny) and always order more than they can pay for. Why? To look 'cool'.

    Sorry short stop having to call mommy or daddy to bring you another dollar because I won't give you your super-jumbo loaded sprinkle cone from hell unless you can pay for it isn't cool. Making me wait while said demon cone melts on my arm is even less so.

    I wish you fiery ice-cream-less hell, where I personally shall devour tasty treats before you for all eternity. Then make you clean my shoes. your damned cone dripped on them.

    Machines are the enemy

    Chocolate blew up on me today. There was a lovely SK shaped silhouette of where I was standing when it blew.

    Know what it is you want

    Me: Hi what can I get for you?
    SC: Uh.... um.... *blank look and drool*

    Gravekeeper you customers are escaping and I don't want to deal with them in person.

    I am not on the menu

    Me: Will there be anything else this evening sir?

    SC: your phone number.

    Me: Nice try sir, but no.

    SC: Well you have to give it to me, I asked for it and you're getting paid to wait on me.

    Me: I'm getting paid to serve you ice cream sir not to serve you my personal information. Anything else I can get you that's ice cream related?

    SC: Well if you'd give me your number I'll take you out to a real ice cream place and I'd happily pay if it means I could see if the carpet matches the drapes.

    Me: Annnnd I'm done. Sir this gentleman is going to wait on you while I go call the cops since you're now sexually harassing me.

    SC: you LITTLE REDHEADED BITCH!! HOW DARE you SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT GINGER-SLUT!!

    Me: thank you for screaming that sir since the police operator heard it and we have to ask you not to leave until the police show up.

    SC: *foaming at the mouth screaming rage*

    The idiot was too dumb to leave before the cops showed up. He did however pay for his ice cream before he went to ride away with the nice officers. One of whom was my aunt's father-in-law. I decided not to press charges since Mr. Officer scared him worse than any lawsuit ever could. yeah, having a giant black man look at the woman you were harassing and going 'what happened baby girl?' followed by 'why didn't you deck him?' and 'you messed with the wrong red-head nancy boy' is apparently terrifying.
    Me to a friend: I know I'm crazy, you know I'm crazy, the zombies at the end of the world will know I'm crazy. Thus not eating my brain for fear of ingesting the crazy. It's my survival plan.

  • #2
    I'd happily pay if it means I could see if the carpet matches the drapes.
    *GAG me with an ice cream spoon*
    Dull women have immaculate homes.

    Comment


    • #3
      Bwahahahaha! sorry.

      Quoth shankyknitter View Post
      Machines are the enemy

      Chocolate blew up on me today. There was a lovely SK shaped silhouette of where I was standing when it blew.
      Pictures please.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth shankyknitter View Post
        I decided not to press charges since Mr. Officer scared him worse than any lawsuit ever could. yeah, having a giant black man look at the woman you were harassing and going 'what happened baby girl?' followed by 'why didn't you deck him?' and 'you messed with the wrong red-head nancy boy' is apparently terrifying.
        You have no idea how much I love that. I had a client yell at me at an event where there was a K9 officer doing a demo. The officer handed me the K9 then walked the client over for a "talk". You don't mess with a girl who is allowed to cuddle the normally very intimidating k9s in town. Those doggies know I give ear rubs and treats and their handlers like me.
        I'm the 5th horsemen of the apocalypse. Bringer of giggly bouncy doom, they don't talk about me much.

        Comment


        • #5
          i would have paid to see the expression on the guys face after he "talked" with the officer.

          Comment


          • #6
            yeah the look on his face is pretty much why I didn't press charges. I couldn't get a better reward than that if I'd tried. Have I mentioned that I love my uncle's dad?
            Me to a friend: I know I'm crazy, you know I'm crazy, the zombies at the end of the world will know I'm crazy. Thus not eating my brain for fear of ingesting the crazy. It's my survival plan.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth shankyknitter View Post
              There are only two things we serve with anything 'Turtle' in the title. A blizzard and a waffle bowl sundae.
              Do you know how badly I want one of the Pecan Pie Blizzards? I might have to break down and get one this weekend.

              Quoth shankyknitter View Post
              Machines are the enemy
              So you'll be signing up for the upcoming Butlerian Jihad?

              Quoth shankyknitter View Post
              SC: you LITTLE REDHEADED BITCH!! HOW DARE you SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT GINGER-SLUT!!
              Yet another man that has not learned that it is never a good idea to piss off a redhead. So are you Scots, Irish, or both?

              Quoth shankyknitter View Post
              look at the woman you were harassing and going 'what happened baby girl?'
              You know, I've always like that and "boo"! Had a couple of people that I worked with that always called me those.
              It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

              Comment


              • #8
                Redheads have at least a 95% chance of being gorgeous. They're also concentrated evil.
                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                Comment


                • #9
                  Phew! What a piece of work! Ginger Slut...Wow.

                  Do you think he'll ever come back?
                  "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth shankyknitter View Post
                    SC: Well if you'd give me your number I'll take you out to a real ice cream place and I'd happily pay if it means I could see if the carpet matches the drapes.
                    Seriously, has any guy anywhere in the history of sex EVER gotten anywhere with the female of ANY species with a line like that? Ever?

                    No, it always results in, at best, epic eye-rolling, at worst, verbal emasculation or a kick in the beans.

                    So why do it? "Well, Tony, I'm a HUGE jerk (and that's the only thing 'huge' about me, and I want everybody, everywhere, to know it?" Something like that?

                    I'm 44 years old, and that's always baffled me.
                    I have a map of the world. It's actual size.

                    -- Steven Wright

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Pagan View Post
                      Yet another man that has not learned that it is never a good idea to piss off a redhead. So are you Scots, Irish, or both?
                      I'm a proud Scot whoes Scots grandma taught to handle her knife and hold her whiskey. I'm a flamin' red head with a temper to match and damned proud of it.
                      Me to a friend: I know I'm crazy, you know I'm crazy, the zombies at the end of the world will know I'm crazy. Thus not eating my brain for fear of ingesting the crazy. It's my survival plan.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth shankyknitter View Post
                        She then demands to speak with the owner since apparently he's oh-so-willing to roll over and lose money because she snapped her finger. He wasn't. She threw something, stomped her foot (not making this up) and left threatening to sue.

                        Over about $1.
                        I can see the courtroom now...Imagine that this la...er, person is famous, get the media on her side, gets the case almost won based on that alone, and then your company's attorney shows footage of her snapping her fingers at you guys...

                        "You snapped your fingers at them?! Case Dismissed! Now get the HELL out of my courtroom before these nice people sue YOU for harrassment!"
                        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Stryker One View Post
                          Pictures please.
                          Aww, beat me to it.
                          I AM the evil bastard!
                          A+ Certified IT Technician

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Honestly, I had to reread the drapes comment twice before I realized what it meant. I'm too innocent for these boards!!

                            And....ew.
                            A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth shankyknitter View Post
                              SC: Well if you'd give me your number I'll take you out to a real ice cream place and I'd happily pay if it means I could see if the carpet matches the drapes.
                              I *wondered* what this guy was up to! He must have $$$ now if he could offer to take a woman to a "real ice cream place", a thing most women can only *dream* about.

                              SC: you LITTLE REDHEADED BITCH!! HOW DARE you SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT GINGER-SLUT!!
                              I wonder how this man wound up believing that *all women are bitches*? Boy, I wonder!
                              P*S

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